If life is a game, the biggest bug is that there is no Ctrl Z. You can never go back, you can't undo actions, you can't fix mistakes.
Therefore, the greatest pain of man is regret .
Wounds in any sense can scab and heal over time, only regret will not. Regret is like the ring that Frodo holds, it will continue to consume you, corrode your heart, and drag down your will. It will make you flash back over and over again to the situation of that day, the decision of that moment, the angry words that came out of your mouth. It will question you over and over again, if you didn't say that at the beginning, if you endure a little more, if you react a second faster. - If only I knew it would be like this.
Anyone who has remorse in their hearts understands that all the pain in the world will pass, and only remorse will end in death.
Where is the outlet of remorse?
This time I revisit "Manchester by the Sea", which coincides with the murder of Zhang Zixin's little sister. Looking at Lee in the film, I have to think of Zixin's grandparents.
"I Can't Beat it!" This is Lee's final confession. Still can't get over it.
Can't get over what? Blame yourself .
Obtaining forgiveness from others still does not avoid self-blame.
Lee and his ex-wife ran into each other at the intersection. The ex-wife forgives him and even asks for his forgiveness. The results of it? The forgiveness from the victim made it even more difficult for him to bear. He turned around and got drunk in the tavern, starting a fight. He was obviously forgiven, why should he still die? - Because I can't forgive myself any more.
The forgiveness of others brought greater regrets, and it magnified that mistake more and more infinitely.
So what to do? How can you forgive yourself if you don't ask for forgiveness from others?
—— Acknowledge your own limitations, and bow your head in front of this recognition. This is the first step in forgiving yourself.
Human beings are limited because they cannot predict the future.
People cannot see in advance the consequences of an action, a decision. Even if some judgments can be made in the present dimension, it is impossible to predict what will happen in the lifetime dimension. It is impossible to judge the impact on others. Butterfly fluttered its wings, how could it know that a hurricane had been set off thousands of miles away.
Human life must be a continuous process of trial and error. But most of the time we don't realize that we are trial and error. We spend every day according to inertia and experience, and there is a high probability that we can be smooth and stable. We realize the difficulty of making decisions only when circumstances change and small-probability events occur.
But sometimes you don't realize it. It was only after a long time that I looked back and realized that things were different then.
Under the influence of alcohol and stimulants, Lee did not realize that the act of adding wood to the stove was not the same as when he was sober. He had lost control and judgment, and he didn't realize that in that state he would forget to close the furnace door. The situation had changed, but he didn't realize it.
This is the second limitation of human beings: we are often unable to judge our current state and situation . In other words, we don't always know what we're doing.
The inability to evaluate oneself and the unpredictability of the future are the limited predicaments of human beings. This predicament leads to accidents happening all the time, I mean -- always. And no one can escape the blame.
Yes, no one is to blame: Lee isn't the only one who kills people unintentionally.
In the first death in Genesis, many people thought it was Cain who killed Abel. Actually not. The first death was when Eve and Adam ate the fruit from the Book of Wisdom. Death comes at that moment. It was an accident. I just ate a piece of fruit, and I didn't kill people, set fires, or fight. How do they know that, just because of such an unconscious act, mankind will face the fate of death for generations, and these deaths are almost invariably caused by people themselves.
We today, all the time, cause the death of others.
Whether we realize it or not, admit it or not, we are indirectly causing the death of others .
The banana peel you tossed on the side of the road made you an old man slip, you know? One of the jokes you told off the hook sent an audience member into depression, you know? You laughed at a classmate when you were in elementary school. Twenty years later, this classmate took revenge on society for killing elementary school students, you know? There are countless such things.
We are always causing the death of others. In other words, all the tragedies in this world have people—you and me—in them .
You are not the first, nor will you be the last, to inadvertently cause the death of another person - even a loved one.
Second, if you unintentionally cause the death of a loved one, then you are better than anyone else who accidentally causes the death of someone else without knowing it.
This is because you have loved the dead well.
Lee has loved his daughter well, and Zixin's grandparents have loved Zixin well. Lee also hugged his daughters vigorously, rolled on the ground with them, read them bedtime stories, kissed their foreheads good night, and even added an extra stick of firewood at the end to make them sleep warmer. Zixin's grandparents once treated Zixin kindly, cooked delicious meals for her, raised her to be fat, urged her to do her homework, and entrusted her to others to open her eyes and play in the big city. Happy.
From start to finish, the person who made the mistake paid true love.
- Once you have loved, you are free from sin.
That's why God made cities of refuge for the Israelites in the law he gave them.
Then you shall assign three cities to the land which the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance. Divide into three parts the land that the LORD your God has given you to inherit; and prepare a way so that anyone who kills by mistake may flee there. The man who kills by mistake escapes and lives there, and the statute is this: Whoever has no hatred and has no intention of killing someone... This man flees to one of those cities and can live... In fact, he does not deserve to die, because he is with him Killed without hatred. (Deuteronomy 19:2-6)
No hatred, no intention to kill, no crime to death. Not to mention that you've made mistakes in love - Love covers all wrongs.
The third is the unintentional act of kindness.
Not only can people bring harm to others, they can also bring healing.
It is one side of the coin that people unintentionally cause disasters to others, and the other side of the coin is that people also unintentionally bring hope to others.
How many times have you hurt people, and probably how many times have people cheered up because of your words; you may have picked up a banana peel on the roadside once, which prevented an old man passing by from falling 10 minutes later; A smile pulled him back from the brink of anti-social crime. Such things are equally numerous.
The most promising scene in "Manchester by the Sea" is when the boat Patrick insists on keeping goes out to sea. Lee and Patrick sit side by side on the edge of the boat, without talking, looking into the distance. At that moment, it was Patrick who unintentionally brought Lee's healing, and Lee's company also unintentionally brought Patrick comfort.
These three points— understanding the limitations of human beings, knowing that love forgives all transgressions, and unintentionally releasing goodwill to bring hope to others —I am writing to all those who are unintentional and unintentional like grandparents like Lee and He Zixin. A person who has been caught in a great deal of self-blame and regret by causing death and injury to others.
If you don't have that experience, you probably won't understand.
Some people may even say, "Such a person should be condemned by his conscience for the rest of his life."
Those who say this will not know what a terrible word the condemnation of conscience is. They will not ask questions, but who should not be condemned by conscience? It is even less clear that in fact, those who truly know that they owe their conscience are blessed, because such people will be healed, and they will also become good medicine for all kinds of evil diseases in this world.
View more about Manchester by the Sea reviews
