order to
live a better life in this world full of filth.
I can't shed tears,
and there are no tears that can flow
far away, can
you still cry for me?"
At midnight on February 24th, Beria said the above words. At that time I became at a loss, and I wanted to tell her that she was always clean in my heart, no matter how far we went in each other's way. At midnight on January 29th, I said to the pig: You have become sad for me, and I saw you have the same face and the same sophistication as adults. Then she cried and said she would never have thought I would judge her like that. And now I see myself hopelessly trapped in this irreversible cycle. I got dirty and there was nothing I could do.
Gu Cheng said: I'm poor and
do not have a place to be crying
my profession is fixed
permanently to sit
sit for a thousand years
to learn that the richest smile
even subtle reached out
as if to put what humanity
I can not know Can give
and don't even want to get anything
I just want to save my tears
Save until the end of the work
dark green sandalwood all withered
dry red stars
All fall off.
He is talking about Buddha, talking about himself, and talking about us. When one day we are assimilated by the world, we can only sit fixedly, smile mechanically, and even lose the ability to cry, what else do we have?
Remember the story of reading comics when you were a kid? I remember the dusty ping pong from Snoopy. This boy who can attract all the dust in the universe will shout back when others accuse him of being sloppy: "But my mind is clean." "I have an unblemished conscience." Yes, pure mind . And how many of us can say without shame: "My mind is clean"? Just like the original flat stool, in order to adapt to the uneven ground, it constantly wears its edges and corners, and finally "metamorphosis" becomes a defective product that cannot adapt to the flat ground. The environment has an impact on us beyond your imagination. Politics, scandals, betrayals, discrimination, violence, crime, wars, crises... Is this world still worthy of our efforts and pride? How can we remain pure in such a filthy society? Still only silent.
Coleman Sirney, the head of a university's racism department, had to resign after a misnomer that angered black students. And just as he left the education career he had been fighting for his entire life, his wife unfortunately left him. "They killed her like they killed her with a pistol." We're no strangers to the fact that words can be lethal. Lu Xun said: "Rumors are especially hard for my ears to hear." The school used biased and even unwarranted excuses to ruin Coleman Sirney's educational career and even took her wife's life. In the days that followed, the old Koeman's life became dull, he was irritable and irritable. Until he met the writer Zu Keman in the small building by the lake. Zukoman was once famous, but later lived in seclusion because of a serious illness. The unbearable life seems to have flattened his spirit. The arrival of old Coman has injected vitality into his peaceful life. Since then, in this quiet cottage, the two men have formed a deep friendship. One day, Koeman confessed to Zuckerman about his extramarital affair with a 34-year-old cleaning lady. Their story begins with loneliness, and you can't seem to see the warmth and lingering you deserve from their words. But when old Koeman said: You have to admit that something very important happened between me and that woman. Can we believe that there is not only sex but love between them? But no matter what, the world can't make them happy together. People started to slander the old professor's relationship with the woman constantly, as if they were dirty and they were noble. Even more terrifying is the woman's ex-husband, a retired U.S. soldier, the brutal Vietnam War and the accidental death of a child, making this man depraved, violent, and crazy. When he learned that his wife was with an old Jewish man, he repeatedly interrupted. And sent them to their graves at the end...
if this was just a story of gossip, discrimination, and sex scandals, such a narrative would not fit his title. The truth hidden in this seemingly simple story is truly irresistible. Pain, despair, what kind of stain, swells, deforms around us, and finally wipes out our humanity!
Coleman Sirney, a "white" born into a black family. He lied about being a Jew because of his fair skin, and deceived the world for 50 years. "Your skin is as white as snow, but your mind is like a slave." He gave up his racial beliefs, his family, and even his own personality in the end. "You have to be proud of your race," his mother said. But he chose "why can't I be proud of myself." From then on, we didn't see him laugh or see him proud of himself. Some things are certain from birth, like parents, like your blood. When we cannot be proud of our race, we also lose the ability to be proud of ourselves. Maybe we can understand Coleman Sirney. In those days, he could only choose to deceive, deceive himself, deceive the world, and save himself. Even though he knew the result might hurt people, he was too weak to bear it.
Fanny, vulgar worker, miserable woman. Her biological father was wealthy, but he divorced her mother when she was young. Soon, the mother remarried. The stepfather was a mean man who raped her when she was 14 years old. She turned to her mother for help, but no one believed her. She was humiliated and fled to Florida. A woman, the low-level oppressed by society, everyone can abuse her but they are powerless to resist. She worked, got married, and had two lovely children. But heaven and hell are only one step away, and a fire took the child's young life. The ex-husband accused her of having sex with another man that day. We don't know what happened that day, but we do know that she is a mother first and foremost, and she loves her children and blames herself deeply for it. "My inheritance is left by my children." Facing the child's thin ashes, through Fanny's trembling shoulders, we see the sorrow of a mother who lost her beloved child. "I called her. On the day the child came out of Penang, I said, 'Mom, I'm Fanny.' She said she didn't know her and hung up." She didn't cry, she was calm and sad. This woman who has been beaten and beaten by society has made us helpless.
Zu Keman, a sanctimonious gentleman, a thief who peeks into human nature, a murderer who kills with love and trust, and the narrator of the story. I had a huge crush on him until the end of the movie. This seems to be loyal to friendship, a good guy who thinks about his friends everywhere, and I was blinded by his gorgeous language excuses. To finish the novel, he and Fanny's ex-husband conspired to kill them. Death revealed the truth, made the love story of Coman and Fanny, made the ex-husband's revenge, made the bestseller of the novel, and made Zuckerman famous again. If all this has to be done with blood, what are we left with. It is a touch of blood and a little sadness.
In general, the story contains too much lies and too much pain beyond my comprehension. Political scandals, racism, mistreatment of women, extramarital affairs, war wounds, murders, gossip…they are terrifying. I'm just a naive, unviable child, and I don't know how to face these dark lives.
Can we still face ourselves and understand the soul? We don't forget how to be a real human being like the crow in school (who forgot how to be a crow after spending too much time with humans). Antonioni once warned us in "Days on the Clouds" not to go too fast and lose our soul. If I stop now, is it still time?
Life is dirty, human nature is ugly, we have no right to criticize others, this society is just as dirty as me.
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