Some bad taste and details

Lt. Col. James Rhodes: Secretary Ross has a Congressional Medal of Honor, which is one more than you have.

Sam Wilson: So let's say we agreed to this thing. How long is it gonna be before they lojack us like a bunch of common criminals?

Lt. Col. James Rhodes: 117 countries wanna sign this. 117, Sam, and you're just like, "Nah, it's cool."

Sam Wilson: How long are you gonna play both sides?

Vision: I have an equation.

Sam Wilson: [sarcastically] Oh, this'll clear it up.

Vision: In the 8 years since Mr. Stark announced himself as Iron Man, the number of known enhanced persons has grown exponentially. And during the same period, a number of potentially world-ending events has risen at a commensurable rate.

Steve Rogers: Are you saying it's our fault?

Vision: I'm saying there may be a causality. Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict... breeds catastrophe. Oversight... Oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand.

Lt. Col. James Rhodes: Boom!

Natasha Romanoff: Tony? You are being uncharacteristically non-hyperverbal.

Steve Rogers: That's 'cause he's already made up his mind.

Tony Stark: Boy, you know me so well. Actually, I'm nursing an electromagnetic headache. That's what's going on, Cap. It's just pain. It's discomfort. Who's putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a Bed and Breakfast for a biker gang?

[puts phone on table, screen pops up]

Tony Stark: Oh, that's Charles Spencer, by the way. He's a great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA. Had a floor-level gig, an intel plan for the fall. But first he wanted to put a few miles on his soul before he parked it behind a desk. See the world, maybe be of service. Charlie didn't wanna go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn't go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun. He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor. Guess where: Sokovia. He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. I mean, we won't know because we dropped a building on him while we were kickin' ass... There's no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check! And whatever form that takes, I'm game. If we can't accept limitations, we're boundaryless, we're no better than the bad guys.

Steve Rogers: Tony, if someone dies on your watch, you don't give up.

Tony Stark: Who said we're giving up?

Steve Rogers: We are if we're not taking responsibility for our actions. This document just shifts the blame.

Lt. Col. James Rhodes: Sorry, Steve, that... that is dangerously arrogant. This is the United Nations we're talking about. It's not the World Security Council, it's not S.H.I.E.L.D., it's not Hydra.

Steve Rogers: No, but it's run by people with agendas and agendas change.

Tony Stark: That's good! That's why I'm here. When I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down. Stopped manufacturing.

Steve Rogers: Tony, you *chose* to do that. If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose. What if this panel sends us somewhere we don't think we should go? What if there's somewhere we need to go and they don't let us? We may not be perfect but the safest hands are still our own.

Tony Stark: If we don't do this now, it's gonna be done to us later. That's the fact. That won't be pretty.

Wanda Maximoff: You're saying they'll come for me.

Vision: We would protect you.

Natasha Romanoff: Maybe Tony's right. If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer. If we take it off...

Sam Wilson: Aren't you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?

FedEx Driver: [At the door with a package] Are you 'Tony... Stank'?

Lieutenant James Rhodes: [cracks up] Yes. This is... this is Tony Stank. You're in the right place. Thank you for that!

[to Tony]

Lieutenant James Rhodes: Never dropping that, by the way.

[while walking off]

Lieutenant James Rhodes: Table for one, Mr. Stank. Please by the bathroom.