"Tired, as tired as a dog." He is tired, not just because of this time, but because of everything he has experienced over the years.
"I don't want to fly like a lone geese anymore, I don't want to live without friends anymore, I hope someone can tell me where to go, I don't want to see the deceit of the world, I don't want to bear the pain of this world every day", there is too much pain, even with God The gift of love, but after all, has its own troubles, dullness, does not mean stupid, just because there is no key to open the heart.
To do good, and still be misunderstood, why can you die so calmly!
"I am afraid of the dark", maybe it is the darkness of the human heart.
If it is said that a Christian cannot enter heaven if he commits suicide, then John, what do you say? Is this a kind of suicide? Maybe you are really too painful.
"My punishment is to look at my friends and lovers and die one by one." Longevity may also be a torment. Perhaps you can better understand John's choice at that time.
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