one time, I often see a strange man in the district. I have lived in this courtyard for nearly ten years, and I know most of the people in the community. Even if I don’t speak, I’m familiar with them. But this man is very strange. I think, with his face that resembles a high-ranking official, if he ever appeared, I would never forget it.
On the weekend, I saw him again. This time, he was with a woman who was quite familiar. It turned out that this is a man who rarely goes home.
My friend told me that this man is a leader of a certain unit and holds an important position, so he basically didn't return home in a stately manner. However, he suddenly got cancer, and it was still very serious, so he quit his job and went home. No wonder I can often see him wandering idle in the yard.
Seemingly forced to go home.
I remembered one time when I went to the hospital to see a doctor. I was queuing in the corridor where men were not allowed to enter. There was an older sister sitting next to me. Waiting is boring, we just chat. She asked me, "Who came with you?" "Myself, do you still need to accompany you?" She told me that her husband was waiting outside. I was surprised and thought to myself, it is not easy to be so affectionate at this age. So she praised her husband greatly.
The eldest sister curled her lips and said, "It turns out that it’s not like that. I play outside every day. Sometimes I go home to see if I didn’t cook. Ask me,'Are you uncomfortable? Or let's go out to eat.'" I asked her, where is the secret to turn things around and why she suddenly changed sex. She said, "It’s fine for a man after 45, and I’ll be good to you if I know that I’m going home."
Li Zixun once said in the lecture that men after 45 will be very fragile and they will need your care very much. If you hate a man, after 45, you will abuse him with all your life and he will die miserably.
The eldest sister said, "Why go home? I don't expect him to go home. Do what he likes. My son and I are also very good."
Mother Ruirui said the same, "Why go home? Go out and make more money. Well, at home every day, it looks so annoying! It's not enough to fight."
Middle-aged women would rather be alone.
After the medical treatment was over, I was leaving. My eldest sister asked me to wait for her for a while, and asked her to drive me home. I declined. Before leaving, the eldest sister said to me earnestly, “It doesn’t matter whether you return home or not, but you have to remember that you have to hold the money in your hands. This society is not about guarding against anyone, in case one day you get caught Abandon it, you must have some money."
Seeing the elder sister with a solemn expression , she felt sad. Is this a book in the heart of middle-aged women? You can't have money and money, you can't hold it, somehow, if you hold the money, if you run away, you still have something in your hand. Is this what middle-aged women expect from their destiny? One day I was abandoned, and I still have money...Why wouldn't it be us who took the initiative to abandon?
Is it true that women must be passive in the face of fate? Must coexist and die with marriage?
What makes us so pessimistic?
When I was a PhD student, I once went to a summer school to attend a class, and I randomly chose a course on psychology and contemporary Chinese social issues. As a result, it happened that day to talk about marriage and family issues. A group of young undergraduates scolded Fang Qiu and talked about marriage. In my opinion, a person who has been married for seven years, the marriage in their imagination is basically a family, and the complexity of marriage is far beyond their imagination. They said that men and women should be equal in marriage. If my girlfriend is pregnant, I will marry her and I will be responsible to her; marriage should be based on love, and marriage without love is immoral... I remembered Married person Wang Gongquan said, is love without marriage also immoral?
But what can I say, if marriage is not regarded as simple and beautiful as a family, who has the courage to get married? Jian Zhen said, marriage is gambling, it depends on whether you are willing to bet. When we got married, everyone believed that they were the one who won the Mark Six lottery. They were only shocked when they got married. The sound from the casino is always the sound of winning the Mark Six lottery, but who has ever seen a winner?
Therefore, as the only married person in that classroom, that day, I put down my hand I wanted to raise several times and chose to be silent.
Second, I
read "Gone girl" and remembered the previous blog post, which was written four years ago.
Yes, this is a certain truth about marriage. Even the golden boys and girls like Amy and Nick are strangers in the end. Amy is always trying to create all kinds of surprises to keep her married life fresh, but Nick has long been looking for freshness outside of marriage. If the story stops here, I'm afraid I can only say that David Fincher is a bit cruel and lifted the rosy veil of marriage too early, but the story is far from this. It is not a vulgar story in which a husband does not care about his wife and his wife ran away angrily. It climaxed in every place that seemed to end.
At the beginning of the film, the wife is writing a diary, recording how their marriage has changed from the beauty of a celestial couple to the husband who will push her to the ground in order to leave the house to go to the bar. In fact, in the first half of the film, I think Amy is very sympathetic. She has "planned" so many "romantic" actions to save the marriage, but in fact, they are all redundant. Men and women have such different understandings of romance and freshness. The freshness of men is direct, such as a new person, a new face, such as Nick's lover, a little girl who does not seem to know the world and has no taste, you She didn't feel that she had Amy's brains and glamour in the slightest. But he will never see a new look for his wife. The freshness in Amy's eyes is a unique "treasure hunt". It is the different feelings that the same person brings to you, the thickness of a life, and the depth of a relationship. But all her hard work has not been rewarded. In the end, she saw her husband running out desperately, touching the girl’s chin in the snow all over the sky. All the scenes are her fond memories, but the woman in that scene doesn’t She again. That's why Amy said that Nick murdered her, "He ruined my marriage, ruined my life, this is murder." So she began to revenge frantically.
What was impressive was that the female police officer asked Nick, as a person without a job, what does Amy do every day? Nick didn't know, he said, "She is always busy, she always doesn't let go of the paper." He doesn't really care what she is doing, the truth is, she is planning her revenge. She is using every minute and every second to observe her enemy, and then defeat him step by step.
Everything unfolded slowly according to her plan. Every time I felt that Amy was about to reveal her stuff, there would be a more thoughtful plan. She looked really seamless.
Is revenge useful? Desperate women will always fall into crazy revenge. They will at all costs let those men who "murder" their youth, their love, everything about them be embarrassed, but is she really happy!
The second half of the film is clearly out of the ordinary. Even if you sympathize with Amy, it is difficult for you to sympathize with a chilling murder demon. I understand her pain and despair, but I cannot agree with her choice.
At the end of the film, Nick seemed to have the marriage going on suddenly, with an awkward smile on his face stroking his wife's hand, I was frightened, but dumbfounded.
Three times
I see many people who have lost their love saying, I don’t believe in love anymore, I think it’s so funny, will love cease to exist because of your broken love? Human beings always think that what they have is everything, but in fact, love is just love.
I was reading Green Demon's book "The Silence Can Sing" these days, and she said, "I believe in love, but I don't believe in human nature."
Associating with the story of the Green Girl, I have to sigh with emotion. In "Gone Girl", Amy hates his husband. She says that she is willing to become a cool girl for him. She changed herself to cater to him. She feels that she has shaped him and turned him into a better person. , But this better person betrayed her. He would even use the actions between them to express loyalty to his lover. She was taken aback and disappointed. I thought, this might be the last thing that prompted her to retaliate wildly. Root straw.
I remembered a friend who wrote poems to her when her boyfriend pursued her. She kept those poems until one day she found out that he had also given love poems to another girl, and that girl was just a passerby. In fact, when I heard this story, I thought despicably, how can you be sure that the poem you see was not read by another girl?
This is human nature. I am not surprised at all. Many times I would be surprised that many people think that they are unique, so unique that there is a person in this world, and one thing only happens to you. How can this be? The inevitable result of excessively high expectations of human nature is disappointment, that is, feelings are difficult to calm down.
Why are women always keen to change themselves to adapt to others? Why do women always take it for granted that they are a good school? Will those "graduates" appreciate you? They think that their good is nature, not your gift. Therefore, if you have time, you might as well change yourself. Sometimes I think that the only thing that can give you a return is probably the investment in yourself. When you choose others as your investment object, you must have an open mind that only asks for hard work, not what you get. , There must be an old way of making soup for others.
Gone girl, indeed, that girl disappeared forever, marriage changed her into another person. What a hard way to become a Gone girl from a cool girl, so if you don’t want to disappear, choose someone who can nourish you, it’s not good, at least stay away from those who consume you.
I don't know if I am too pessimistic, even black, or the world is like this? I never doubt the beauty of this world, but don't think it has only beauty. The other side of light must be darkness. It depends on where you choose to stand and where you are willing to look up.
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