When I was a child, I was a super dinosaur fan. I was interested in everything about this monster. Whenever a dinosaur appeared on TV, I could jump with excitement! For when I was a child, I was able to explore science so much, and I could sit quietly at the table and read calligraphy and painting (dinosaurs) one after another afternoon without going out to make trouble. Mom and Dad gave me the greatest convenience: I bought it for me. There are a lot of books and picture albums about dinosaurs; whenever dinosaurs are shown on TV, they call me to come over and watch them; listen to me tirelessly listening to me telling the mystery of dinosaurs that I have "discovered", and sometimes boasting that I understand better. Let my little vanity be greatly satisfied, and get a kind of recognition moved. This makes me like dinosaurs even more.
When I was in elementary school, I discovered that there were friends who liked dinosaurs as much as I did. Soon the dinosaurs made me the best friends. We discussed the classification of dinosaurs, the fighting power of dinosaurs, the largest and smallest dinosaurs, and what the dinosaurs that have not yet been discovered would look like; together we exchanged information about dinosaurs obtained from books and TV; together we drew various pictures. Dinosaurs are real and imaginary; the most enjoyable thing is to tell each other about their fantasy about dinosaurs. . . At that time, dinosaurs gave me the purest happiness. This kind of happiness has nothing to do with everything, it is completely innocent, from the heart, and without any impurities. Although this kind of pure extracurricular stuff took up a lot of my time and made the adults quite criticize me, I was still so persistent. In the end, mom and dad can only make rainbows after the storm. In their hearts, this is not a bad thing. After all, I am only six or seven years old. After all, my grades have always been ahead. . . What a romantic period it was, what a happy time it was, and it was also the most dreamy childhood in my life.
When I was 8 years old, the wheel of fortune turned me into another life situation. Seeing the hideous face of reality, I became more and more immersed in the fantasy world. A naturally imaginative brain allows me to shuttle through dream after dream. There are everything I like, including dinosaurs, many, many dinosaurs.
However, as time went by, my parents discovered that I did not grow up like other children, but was still naive, dreamy, and even out of touch with reality. They became anxious and began to beat me in their own way, so I had to use the test scores to protect my dreams. Fortunately, the simple courses in elementary school are enough for me to cope with ease. In the face of my good grades, although my grades are good and bad, although my father will put various pressures and even fist together when my grades decline, he will encourage me and temporarily relax me when my grades rise. So I still spend a lot of time on fantasy and research on dinosaurs, and my parents will not interfere with me too much, especially when I have good grades and even support my "dinosaur career."
But the contradiction between reality and my daydream has begun to accumulate, and it will always explode when the accumulation reaches a certain level. In the last summer vacation of elementary school, my father finally couldn't bear my obsession with dinosaurs all day long. He threw the dinosaur books I had accumulated and misappropriated and bought to the ground severely, and sternly scolded me, mixed with a lot of realistic content that made me sad. I couldn't make a sound of tears, and I was very sad, and felt that some inexplicable things began to crumble, and some unknown things were about to leave me. Now I know that what is beginning to collapse is the dinosaur knowledge that I am proud of in front of my companions, the dinosaur paintings to fight against my heavy inferiority mental support and the barriers that have been established with countless kinds of fantasy to isolate reality; it is me who is going to leave That naive, innocent, ridiculous in the eyes of others, and useless in reality, but pure, innocent, and intimate romantic feelings.
After junior high school, I finally couldn't use some cleverness to cope with courses that I didn't have any foundation at all, and my grades began to dwindle. The parents are also very busy and exhausted due to various practical problems. Facing my transcript far below their expectations and the performance that I am still obsessed with the world of dinosaurs and bewildered by reality, they began to become impatient and used various overcorrection methods to allow me to develop normally. And I use still hard fantasy barriers to resist everything in reality. Who knows that I am such an ordinary boy thinking about changing the world and saving the world all day long? Speaking out will only make the listener feel ridiculous and never understand. But in that state, I don’t need to be understood, so I don’t need to share with others. As long as you are immersed in fantasy, you will feel the simplest and most intimate happiness.
This undoubtedly runs counter to the expectations of my parents. So the contradiction is still accumulating if it is not resolved, and the last outbreak was only on a small scale. One day I finally rented the long-awaited VCD of "Jurassic Park". I happily forget about it and watched it several times without any scruples. Seeing my favorite dinosaur displayed so vividly on the screen, I was so excited that I almost shed tears! This feeling like a dream come true is still fresh in my memory. However, after being hit by his parents, things started to become terrible, as if the fence of Tyrannosaurus was cut off.
Today, I can understand my parents. At that time, my academic performance was so unbearable, and my psychology was naive and scary, but I turned a blind eye to their persuasion; and the pressure of my parents’ life was increasing, and various factors caused the psychological burden to be heavier and heavier, and I still held a high regard for me. expect. This is like the situation of Velociraptor vs. Tyrannosaurus Rex, which will naturally traumatize both sides. At that time, my parents still chose a more restrained method, instead of violently beating me all over the body, but using a more effective and long-term method. Destroyed my dreams with words that hurt my heart but were irrefutable, completely cut off any of my material media related to dinosaurs, and began to strengthen and regulate my behavior habits. Since then, I have started a long and painful process of transformation, mixed with the sadness of broken dreams, the fear of reality, and the confusion about myself, I began to start a new way of life tremblingly. There are no dinosaurs in this kind of life, and there is no need for dinosaurs.
In the remaining time of junior high school, I still habitually dream a lot of dreams, but the dreams are getting closer and closer to reality. Sometimes I feel a little heartache when thinking of dinosaurs; in the haunting high school, accompanied by Qingchun’s restlessness to rebel, learn to drink, and be impulsive. Exaggerated and ridiculous things to attract the attention of people around you, because of face fear of other people’s strange eyes, I am ashamed to mention dinosaurs; at the beginning of awakening and staggering towards maturity, I am busy studying, busy changing, busy reality, forgetting and ignoring Dinosaurs; now that I have completely stepped into reality, wearing different masks every day, and occasionally encountering things about dinosaurs, my heart is dead.
Yesterday, I went to see Jurassic Park 3D in order to fulfill my childhood dream and to relax and entertain. Facing the story that I was already familiar with, I didn’t feel much about it. However, as the magnificent and majestic soundtrack of John Williams sounded, my heart began to tremble. When the brachiosaurus appeared, my heartbeat accelerated. The triceratops feces made me follow other audiences. Laughing together, and even when the Velociraptor broke out of the cage and attacked everyone, he involuntarily reminded the characters to run. . . When the helicopter flew towards a golden light with music at the end, my eyes were even a little moist. I still invade the movie for a long time on the bus going back.
I thought I had completely abandoned the dinosaurs, but I didn't expect them to hide in my heart, just waiting for a trigger point.
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