Will's identity in the movie is the object to be saved. He is sensitive and intelligent with amazing mathematical talents, and subconsciously eager to learn more nutrients to make a difference, otherwise he would not specifically go to MIT to mop the floor. His "Hunzi" friend saw it better than anyone else. But at the same time, he also has a tragic past. He was an orphan and was abused in a foster family since he was a child. He buried these in his heart. He thought he didn't care. He refused to grieve, and refused to face the truth of his tragic life. It's all spent denying the truth and competing with the truth. Such as refusing psychotherapy, stimulating psychologists and so on. In this way, he erected a wall in his heart to isolate the heart from the truth of life, and the heart became less and less nourished. In the end, there were more and more truths in life that the heart did not dare to touch, and the so-called mental illness was also caused by Born from here.
How to see that Will is deceiving himself and not accepting the truth of life frankly, that is his emotions.
In front of Kelsey, who he likes, he lied that he had ten brothers, he did not dare to take her home, he always mentioned her identity as a rich girl, his inferiority and timidity, was deeply pressed into the subconscious childhood The shadows were revealed in these lies and nervous emotions.
"So many times, what tells us the truth is not reason, but emotion. But many times, we tend to suppress our true emotions, and even doubt the truth that our emotions tell us."
Therefore, we must heal Will's mind. Trauma, the most important step is to cross his heart wall and overthrow it from the inside. But the problem is that Will doesn’t trust anyone. He is afraid of tenderness and wounds. What’s even more troublesome is that Will’s talent in learning also makes him think that he is superior, especially when those who want to settle down only rely on theory and understanding. Will's psychiatrist's relationship with higher and lower levels made him even more resistant when he treated Will.
"Understanding is to give you a painkiller when you are in pain, and experience is to accompany you with pain and tears. We understand a person and provide a prerequisite for manipulating that person, and when we experience a person, we will I became one with this person."
The first step to gaining Will's trust is to establish an equal partnership. Sean didn't treat him as a patient in his contact with Will. Will said that he "married the wrong woman" and it hurt Sean deeply. Sean did not show mercy to Will and warned him severely not to be rude to his wife anymore. This is different from the previous psychiatrist who watched Will leave with hopeless eyes. The anger that Sean expressed immediately made Will feel that Sean did not treat him as a patient because the doctor treated the patient. Always tolerant, especially mental patients, Sean’s anger is the emotion that exists between two equal people. It was also the performance of a true honest person. He made Will understand that he was also paying to communicate with him sincerely, and thus he had walked under Will's heart wall.
American psychologist Thomas Moore said in his book "The Dark Night of the Soul": "When people express anger clearly, it can make a great contribution to a person and a relationship; but when angry When concealed and hidden, its effect is just the opposite."
In many cases, people are indeed spoiled.
After a night of thinking, Sean understood and experienced Will's consciousness, even Will himself has not discovered and accepted the subconscious mind. In the riverside conversation the next day, Sean said in a gentle, sincere, yet powerful tone:
"You are just a child, and you don’t know what you are talking about.
Ask you about art, and you might come up with the rough arguments in art books. You know a lot about Michelangelo, his political enthusiasm, his fellowship with the Pope, and his indulgence in sex. You know him well? But do you know the smell of the Sistine Chapel? You did not try Have you ever stood there and looked up at the famous painting on the ceiling? You must have never seen it?
You are young and sturdy. If I talk to you about war, you might throw Shakespeare to me and recite "To the battlefield together, dear Friend", but you have never personally been in battle, you have never tried to hold your close friend's head in your arms, watch him take his last breath, stare at you, and ask for help.
I ask you what love is. You may sing the wind and make the moon, but you have never tried to devote yourself to the wholeheartedly, and understand each other’s heart when you exchange your eyes. Saved from the abyss of hell, you have never tried to feel caring for her in every way, you have never tried to stay together with her love and money, knowing that she is terminally ill, you will not hesitate, you have never tried pain Feelings of loss of love..."
Directly understanding the soft words, these feelings are indeed what Will lacks. Sean opened up a new world for him, a world of rationality and gentleness that he has never been in contact with. Comparing the heart to the heart, Sean said again:
"I can't get to know you through any books, unless you want to talk about yourself, but you don't want to do that, right? You are afraid of being scared by what you say. "
He captured the sensitive emotional changes in Will's heart, and Will also understood that he had discovered the tragic truth that he had hidden for many years. In front of this person who came directly into his heart and completely integrated into him, he could not hide anything. Now, he is willing to talk. After taking
off the protective coat of force, Will is very sensitive and nervous at this time. After a long period of silence, he finally slowly talked about the relationship between himself and his girlfriend. He has always been a sharp tone. He also expressed his doubts about his feelings. Sean talked about his past with his deceased wife. He knew that he didn’t need to tell Will directly. Will is a smart person and he can naturally reflect on himself from the relationship of others. Moreover, talking about some of the common experiences of everyone can make him understand and understand more easily, so that he can understand that many worries are unnecessary. The trust between them has been further deepened. These two conversations have slowly broken Will's heart wall. Process.
In the last conversation, Sean took Will's file with his problems and experience of abuse, and said to him over and over again: "It's not your fault. "When
Sean said this for the first time, Will said, "I know."
But Will didn't know, he only knew it verbally.
"Rational knowing is not understanding. Real understanding must be perceptual, emotional, and physical. That is, at the moment of understanding, your brain, nerves, body, and even internal organs are trembling, as if all of your Both body and mind have returned to the moment when the problem occurred, and you re-experience how your problem happened. But at the same time, you also fully understand that you are no longer the child of the year, you are already a powerful adult. You don't need to use some self-deception methods to protect yourself from harm as you did in the past." (In Chinese Buddhist language, it is epiphany)
So, Sean continued.
Will was surprised. He even seemed to hate Sean saying that, so he said, "Don't tease me."
But Sean continued: "It's not your fault."
Finally, Will's defense completely collapsed, and he Throwing on Sean, holding Sean tightly, crying like a baby.
"When you "face a bleak life", you will feel sad. Sadness is a very uncomfortable emotion. We generally resist sadness. But countless psychotherapists have found that the process of sadness is a necessary way to say goodbye to the unfortunate past. The road. If you want to help the visitor come out of the unfortunate past, you must help him complete a sad process. And, it must be the kind of real and pure sadness, not the visitor's performance in order to win the psychotherapist Sadness is just the natural sadness that comes when facing our own misfortunes.
When we fall into this true and pure sadness, we will inevitably burst into tears, and these tears are like a flood of souls, which will break us in our hearts. The various walls built finally make our hearts become a harmonious whole.
Now, with the collapse of the spiritual wall one by one, Will accepts the tragic truth of life calmly and no longer denies or no longer Compete with this fact that is destined to be impossible to change. When this is done, the mental energy of people is liberated. They were previously invested by you on outside people and things. But now, this energy is back to yourself.
In fact, all emotions, feelings and experiences have this power. All emotions, feelings and experiences are naturally produced, and they all tell us some information and guide us on the path of good growth.
We need to remember: our strength is not how happy we look, but how close our heart is to the truth of our life. ”
Ps: The quoted sentence is a quotation, paying tribute to the experts.
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