I don't know if I am the kind of person who is more difficult to be happy. It is said that if I always worry about others, I will live very tiredly.
The entire page A6 of the July 5, 2007 issue of Southern Weekend said one thing: drug abuse is rampant in bars everywhere in Wuhan.
I sat at the so-called "waiting hall" toilet door of Wuchang Railway Station, which was as hot as a construction site, and read this newspaper.
Then, I felt my heart tighten suddenly.
At that time, I suddenly felt like I wanted to ask the question "What is happiness?"
I remembered a story that has something to do with happiness, called "Requiem of Dreams".
In a poor neighborhood in the United States, there is a mother and child. Son Harry is a loser in life. He hoped that time could bring him back to his youth, when his mother in red always attracted the attention of his classmates. In order to "pursue a better life", he became addicted to drugs. He loves Marion, a cute but drug-ridden woman, but he can't get a happy life in a normal way. In order to get rid of the miserable fate, he decided to take the risk and make a lot of money by selling heroin together with his girlfriend and good friend Tyron, but this dream inevitably fell through. He and his lover were physically and mentally devastated.
His mother is middle-aged, obese and sloppy. She endured endless requests from her son and led a hopeless life. Until one day, she received a call from a TV station, asking her to participate in the production of a program. She thought this was the beginning of her dream of "being a TV star" and tried to dress herself up to get the goodwill of the TV station. But when she found that she could no longer wear the red dress that had brought her pride, she started to swallow diet pills frantically. In fact, it was some kind of drug...
I believe I will always remember when Zeze first introduced the plot of this movie to me, she described the final outcome of these three people in a very calm tone. "When my mother was in the hospital for an overdose, the son was caught He was forced to saw off his infected arm by injecting too much drugs. When his son was forced to saw off his arm, his woman was being smashed by a black man in order to get some drugs... "
Remember so clearly, it was because of that time. My heart also tightened suddenly.
At that time, I didn’t know why I felt so distressed for a fictitious woman
at the door of the toilet at Wuchang Railway Station at 8pm on July 8. When Southern Weekend reporter Yao Yijiang used a report from Wuhan to use a "boutique shopping guide". Or when the "Sanlian Life Weekly" was full of petty bourgeoisie, I suddenly wanted to understand what happened in the private room of Jiangtan Bar.
Because she is the most unhappy of all.
That kind of unhappiness easily pierced my heart when I personally saw the ending of this movie.
Since childhood, we all know that happiness is an illusory thing.
No, we are all wrong, there are two standards of happiness.
"Freedom" and "dignity".
It is possible for a beggar to be happy. He has no dignity, but freedom is left.
It is possible for a paralyzed patient to be euthanized. He has no freedom, but he retains his dignity.
And the woman that made me feel distressed, she had nothing left naked.
What worries me most is that, in front of the devil who makes her lose her happiness and dignity, she still has to smile and pretend that she is free-just like the villains in life and movies will say: "I won't force you. I figured it out by myself. "
Don't let anything else control our hearts."
I hope we can all be well-at least, no matter how sad, painful and desperate, they retain dignity and freedom, they will always be a little bit of happiness.
In fact, I am such a person: When I own a gem, I feel that it is the most beautiful wealth in the world. I will protect it and not let anything harm it; but because I take it too important. Too precious, often inadvertently hug it too tightly, hurt it, or even scare it; one day, even if it is no longer my gem, even if it is in the arms of others, I also feel that it Since it was once a gem, anyone else is not qualified to throw it into the soil.
But I don't know how to express my thoughts face-to-face in words, so I can only say this to my heart.
So you think I am an awkward person.
So I can only stay so awkward forever.
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