yes, I am the driver

Desmond 2022-03-19 09:01:02

I was wearing a brown jacket with tight sleeves and my hands in my pockets, walking down the still cold street. Seeing this endless traffic and lights, I feel that I am him.

I am not young anymore, reaching the age of getting married and having children. However, my heart is still naive and simple. Watching the sun rise and sunset every day, the time changes, I always feel that these are related to me. My blood is boiling, but the people around me are already cold. Everyone wakes up and I am drunk alone.

I am always a little angry. There are so many hateful things hidden in the prosperity of this world of anger, anger those people walking on the street or sitting in the car with their heads upright, why some anger is not saved, and anger we don't have so much freedom that we should have.

What I know, however, is that I can do nothing about most things, I can only think, see, feel, and then get angry. I am unable to change.
I don't have much ambition for my situation, I just seek a universal love. For example, the people you associate with have a kind heart. For example, politicians can finally agree with their words and deeds. For example, the people I love will always love me.

Yes, I have some beautiful things that I cherish very much. But why am I still angry?

I have no idea. I only know that I can do nothing. I don't have a drug addiction. When I'm sad, I just smoke a few cigarettes or drink a glass of wine. I also don't have a tendency to violence, at most, I will take a sputum on the trash can map. I don't want to assassinate anyone, because not only do I have no tools, but I also don't have the desire.

The only thing I have is imagination. I imagined myself as a person in a play. The person in this play is no longer a perfect person, but a person who is as distressed and angry as I am but more extreme than me. Why should I imagine them? Because they are greater. They are showing us. They show us ahead of time, and let us reflect.

So, obviously, I am the taxi driver. My life is only to eat, sleep or work. I am very anxious. I can't sleep. I can only watch porn to pass the night. I can only keep silent while others are laughing.

There are many people in this society who need to be rescued. But travis rescues others, only to rescue itself. In order to understand and save ourselves, we also need to save others. This is the meaning of our existence.

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Extended Reading

Taxi Driver quotes

  • Travis Bickle: Each night when I return the cab to the garage, I have to clean the cum off the back seat. Some nights, I clean off the blood.

  • Travis Bickle: Twelve hours of work and I still can't sleep. Damn. Days go on and on. They don't end.