My university looks like a long-lasting film festival to me. People say that movies will extend a person's life. Once upon a time I came here with a naive and light body, and then just sat in front of this monitor, putting the heavy life's chips on my body piece by piece. Then four years are about to pass.
What keeps their weight is always some film that reflects the truth to some extent.
Freud’s psychology says that the human subconscious has the instinct to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. It will automatically filter out information that is useless to oneself and isolate it from the consciousness. But for some reason, I have been provoking this law. .
A lot of cruel reality. I saw bloodshed, killing, hatred, and distortion of human nature. At this time, I often trembled with uncontrollable heartache. But after n times of trembling, I will keep watching until the end, and then until the next time.
I hate violence and heavyness. Sometimes I feel exhausted after reading it and listening. But still accepting it with heart. It seems that those cruel truths are so attractive to me. Just like the children with submachine guns in "Blood Diamond", the red earth and pink diamonds of the color of African blood, how can I bear to pack these indifferently out of my soul?
Because when some people are suffering and disasters, and others are not interested in listening, mankind is a group that has no hope and is not worth working for.
In the face of so many cruel and unsatisfactory reality, people may be weak and powerless. But at least knowing some truths, can change their mood and perceptions and opportunities.
I once sat in front of n psychological consultations and listened boredly to their long talks.
I was thinking: they don't know anything. Maybe except for themselves and what they want. They don't really know other people, they don't know the world, they don't know the whole story, they don't even really want to know. Just saying what they should say and doing what they should do.
The earth is full of human beings of desire. Every moment, some people are crushed by others. I don't know the so-called justice, and I can't say anything. I just know how heartbroken and desperate look in my eyes, how scared of indifferent look in my eyes.
At that time, I watched more than 100 episodes of American crime scene forensics, copied books in the library for several afternoons, and then decided that I would study psychology in the future. My mother is against saying that people who study psychology will become a little abnormal in their heart. I understand her concerns. Of course, I also understand the ex-boyfriend's incomprehension. However, every time I fall into thinking, what I see is a world I want to know, and a world I want. In front of this world, I blurred my appearance and rubbed it into it.
At this time, my selfish desire is a heavy, more colorful life not to drift by.
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