Officer Michaels:
You know, this job though isn't how shows like CSI make it out to be, when I first joined the force, I was under the impression that everything was covered in a fine layer of semen. And that the police had at their disposal a semen database with every bad guy's semen on it. Not true!
Officer Slater:
Yup
Officer Michaels:
If only there was semen on everything, it would make our jobs easier...
Officer Slater:
Hell, yeah!
Officer Michaels:
I often go to sleep and dream of waking up in a world where everything is covered in semen.
Officer Slater:
I mean, who doesn't? It's like your wish that you could walk out of a room and just know where the semen was. You just know like Sherlock Holmes, if he was in his day, Sherlock Holomes, in his day... And this is a proven historical fact. Sherlock Holmes, when he was alive, knew where semen was.
Officer Michaels:
Could smell it out like a rat.
Officer Slater:
Smell it out. ANything
Officer Michaels:
Like the crime scene today, if the man had ejaculated and then punched you in the face, we'd have a real good shot at catching him...
Officer Slater:
No way,
Officer Michaels:
Just punched you in the face. No semen.
Officer Slater:
Yeah, no semen. And that's the only way you can find DNA by the way, if it's in the jizz.
Officer Michaels:
Semen. It's the best DNA, is in the jizz.
Officer Slater:
I'm telling you right now, sometimes I just want to make you know, live in a world of semen. That's funny you say that because I feel the same same way...
Officer Michaels:
It's true
Officer Slater:
I would make semen snowballs...
Officer Michaels:
It would just make our lives easier if everything was covered in semen.
Officer Slater:
Yeah, no crime.
Officer Michaels:
Just semen. FUck, that'd be nice.
Officer Slater:
I think we've exhausted this point. Sherlock Holmes, in his day, would look at you and say: "Five nights ago, Veronica Shear, USA Up All Night."
Officer Michaels:
Four ounces.
Officer Slater:
I know that, four ounces into your hand.
Officer Michaels:
One time we found semen, one time.
Fogell:
I thought you said you never found semen.
Officer Slater:
One time we found semen, one time we found semen, we've got really excited, took it back to the lab, turned out it was Michaels' semen.
