Have you noticed that our description of our father is always jerky and heavy? In fact, in the Chinese context, his father is as tall as a mountain, unsmiling, either inviolable and arrogant, or loves deeply and firmly. The topic of father is always not easy, unpleasant, not playful, and not cute.
"Never easy" father
The best-looking writer of father is Lee Ang. The trilogy of "Diet Men and Women", "Wedding Banquet" and "Pushing Hands" integrates the strengthening and dissolution of patriarchy into the trend of collision of new and old concepts. However, the role of father is slowly dissolving. Bingberg, the image is always hard and cold.
Later, Zhang Yimou's "A Thousand Miles of Riding Alone", Jet Li and the article "Ocean Paradise", the poor and strong Huang Bo in "Dear", his father's love is like a mountain, and gentle and moist like the sea, showing his contentment, but so heavy.
This is an important reason why commercial films on the big screen have rarely appeared "in the name of father". This is also the reason why it is difficult for most fathers to really relax in life. Because it is heavy and serious, it is always difficult to be playful and difficult to get close to, thus creating barriers. Many times, the elderly mother is as warm as a sponge. We want to escape home and plunge into the warm embrace of our mother, but we don't want to face our father's stern eyes after crying, and we don't want to be reminded of the hardships of life.
However, is his father really so serious? Will they really be reprimanded loudly for the failure of "Jackie Chan and Phoenix"? I think it will not happen in most cases. This is just a misunderstanding of the image of the father that exists in our subconscious mind
I have been thinking about when the father image of "little head daddy" as a relaxed guest can become the spokesperson of the father, then we can learn more about the ups and downs of being a father, and we can get closer to our father when we return home. It is not just as simple as "Jackie Chan becomes a phoenix, the pride of being a father".
Such expectations were realized in the Chinese name "102 Not Out" in the Hindi "102 not out" screened in India in April this year. Here, I finally found the "Dad" who was so warm and playful that people couldn't help but want to get close.
Dad wants to send me to a nursing home? Look at this old and disrespectful father!
"My dad wants to send me to a nursing home." is the most conspicuous slogan in "102".
The well-received box office and word-of-mouth performance of "102 Not Outdated" tells of such an inverted father-son relationship: a vigorous father who vowed to break the world longevity record, and a dejected and lifeless son in sixties.
The 75-year-old son is more like an old man. He is a teacher, and there are many "truths" in his heart that cannot be violated: you should not take a bath for more than 15 minutes, or you will catch a cold; he will never stay out overnight, because only his own bed is the safest; strictly monitor his blood pressure, Talk to the doctor every day to confirm your visit time, like an appointment...
Since retiring, his son Babu has been suggesting to himself that "I am an old man, I am going to die" every day, following the rules, fear of death and boredom of life make him suffer from severe obsessive-compulsive disorder: because of his father He moved a brick in the bathroom and he was constipated for six months!
The old naughty boy's father upholds his not-so-serious father's personality and continues to be a demon. In addition to "jumping up and down" every day to add obstacles to his son, he also threatened to live another 16 years to 102 years old, breaking the world. Nice record!
He is an old urchin who wants to play all over the world. He is an old antique who is not afraid of knocks and touches. His purpose is to use limited life and experience unlimited life!
You see, this father is a bit different. There is no pretending to be majestic, no bitter and deep hatred of running and making a living, and no father’s speechless stubbornness. He just dared to say and dare to do, laugh when he wants to laugh, and scold when he wants to scold. It’s not respectful for the old. Such a father is too likable to lie in the works of Father’s Day gifts!
"Go to the pond where you have learned to swim, and talk about the desserts or dishes you like to eat. How interesting. This is how I get to know people." At the beginning of the film, he vigorously stopped a tricycle and asked the driver. Hometown, talk about the life of the driver, let him drive him to his hometown to experience another kind of life. This kind of reckless freedom and ease has enabled life to enrich one's soul to the greatest extent within the limitations of three-dimensional time and space.
When an energetic father in a white suit came home and saw his dead son, he was very angry.
OMG, my son is too "old". As the saying goes, those who are near Zhu are red and black are black. If you want to live to 102 and stay young and vigorous, you must stay away from those "old people" who are waiting to die!
So my father made another amazing decision: he must complete his task within the set time and prove that he is not so "old", otherwise, he must get out of his home.
My son looked dumbfounded, Dad, where am I going when I leave here! But my father is very proud and willful. Go to the nursing home! I have chosen everything for you, complete facilities, beautiful scenery, and many beautiful old ladies!
Later, his father Datri proposed several tasks that were difficult for his son to climb to the sky. He was like a roundworm in his son’s stomach. He knew all his son’s high points and restricted areas. Climb out of the "coffin" that I delineated. You see, every move is a bad move, making the son irresistible and having to face his life that is not so bad again.
The first task is to write a love letter. Datri asked his son to pick up pen and paper again and write the most romantic love letter in the world. Who is it for? Give it to his wife who has already passed away.
This hardly broke his son Babu, "It's all an old man, how can I write a nasty love story?" He racked his brains and had to collect all the memories of getting along with his wife into a romantic love story. Although they were trivial things, when Datri read Babu's words, he understood that his son finally remembered what romance and love are all about.
The second task is to break up with his doctor. Father Datri asked his son to completely sever the relationship with the doctor. This is not a wise move. You know, his son Babu believes that the "old man" is safe only if he is soaked in the medicine jar!
Knowing that his son resolutely disagrees, Datri started to show off his ability to be a rascal again. This is an old and disrespectful dad, like children in kindergarten who bullied each other and complained to the doctor: Look, Babu stole your wallet. , Don't be okay with him!
In this way, the father's trick was perfectly achieved. Not only was the son completely driven out of the hospital by the doctor, but he was also forced to sign an agreement that he would never go to the hospital at will. Except for serious illnesses, everything is subject to his arrangements. In the heart of a father, no one knows the physical and mental condition of his son better than him, and no one can formulate a more appropriate treatment plan. Healing a person first heals his heart and prevents him from degrading his body. This is the heart of healing. The second step.
The third task is to cut out the blankets that have accompanied me for decades. Datri is really a "little clever ghost", and he makes frequent detrimental moves. This time he has made up his mind on his son's "guardian angel" blanket. He believes that his son’s old-fashioned and stereotyped character is reflected in this square blanket. Who will keep a blanket for more than 60 years? A person who is afraid of facing the future. Only by breaking through the shackles of the blanket can the son be freed and have the rest of his new life.
After being abandoned by the doctor, Babu wanders in the city, but only his father knows where he will go. He went to find the romantic self before.
His favorite park when he was a child, the reinforced concrete airplane model still in the park was his dream. Yes, a long, long time ago, so long that he himself had forgotten, he still had dreams.
The church that has been with his family, and his son who likes the sound of church bells, a gentle and kind wife, he bought cakes and sat in a carriage to cherish his wife’s memory. walk home.
Drinking wine and listening to music, we saw two old men with white beards who were more than 170 years old in total dancing close to each other. The dim lights were accompanied by the red enthusiasm of Christmas. Perhaps his son Babu finally understood what his father said. What is the difference between life and his persistence in life.
He finally cut out the shape of three ducks on the little blanket, bid farewell to the previous safe zone, and germinated curiosity and love for the unknown things in life like a child. Datri lied to him that as long as he sang to the Clivia, he could make it bloom within three days. He really sang. When his father secretly wrapped the Clivia into a pot that had already bloomed, he didn't have a hint of doubt, just shouting: miracles. happened! Look, there are so many miracles in my life!
In "102 Not Outdated", we saw a new attempt to describe the love of the father. He is still as reliable as a mountain and deep as a sea, but he does not have to be unsmiling, and he does not have to play a black face in order for his son to be taught about life in fear. The existence of this "little clever ghost" as a father role model seems to be an endorsement of decompression and release of nature for both father and son. Don’t dare to act rashly because you are a father, and don’t Because you are a son, obedience, understanding and love are the most important meanings of the father-son model.
"Unfilial" = I hope you can understand?
In the Asian context, the word “unfilial” seems to weigh a lot of money. Parents pay, and children repay the gratitude. There are multiple standards of measurement. With the development of the times, the minimum standard of "unfilial piety" has become more and more tied to "money", that is, not supporting one's parents is filial piety.
However, in "102 Not Outdated", Datri told his son with the last task that the new definition of the word "filial piety", filial piety, has nothing to do with money, but only with love.
Asians are accustomed to giving love, and no matter how much they give, they don't feel painful, even if they have grown up. What parents give is love, and the highest level of feedback that most children can do is just "money."
Babu's son went to the United States to study and work many years ago and never returned to his hometown. Even his mother died and he did not even return home to visit. Babu waits for his son's phone calls and news of his return to China every day, but what he waits is always postponement and "I hope you can understand."
"I'm very busy, I hope you can understand", "I'm very annoying, I hope you don't add to my burden." "I'm very tired, since you can't let me fight for ten years, then don't get stuck with my family My steps." Wait, wait, these lines, how many times have we exposed these lines to our parents?
Children take it for granted that it is right to fight for their own lives, and parents take it for granted that it is wrong to use their own happiness to hinder their children from pursuing happiness. Even if a short phone call only interrupts the son to watch a football game, a small request will lead to a few complaints from the daughter's in-laws, the children are older than the sky, and they live like a forgotten ant.
Parents take it for granted that they want too much, but never want to admit that their children give too little.
So the last task assigned by father Datri to Babu is to stop Babu from dealing with his "undeligible" son.
"I won't let his (Bab's) son defeat my son." Datri was firm on this point.
Babu's son called and said that he could not go home to visit him for various reasons. Dartry sneered. In order to let Babu see his son's true face, he immediately grabbed the phone to deceive his grandson in the United States: I I have cancer and my life is not long. The property under my name must be processed before my death as an inheritance.
The grandson said immediately: Good grandpa, I will go back immediately, don't worry.
Father Datri cruelly revealed the last glimmer of fantasy that Babu had about his son, but Babu could not accept the cold war with his father. Many elderly people are getting more and more confused, and the older they are, the more stable they are on emotions. They would rather live in their own fantasy than admit the fact that they are old and their children are far away.
"If your son becomes an asshole, then forget him and just remember how cute he was when he was a kid.
Datri's emotional intelligence did not live up to his age, sober cognition cruelly touched the most essential relationship of interest between human nature. This time, Datri was not talking about emotion but reason in the father-son relationship. We must admit that parents love their children unconditionally, but it is difficult for children to love their parents unconditionally. If there is no love, then it is better to forget him and live your own life.
Filial piety is never an obligation, but a reward of love. If there is no love but only obligations and benefits, then no matter how much you do, it will be shackles and futile. Because he didn't love, the grandson would shirk his due responsibility by saying "I want you to understand", and abandoning his own home with the sentence "I want you to understand", and would not even be satisfied with his mother's dying side. Because he doesn't understand love, Babu thinks that Datri is psychologically distorted, and all he does is just to control himself.
Because of love, Datri, regardless of his cancer condition, is determined to force his son out of the past and live a wonderful life without him. Because of love, Babu directly attacked his son at the airport. After he said "I hope you can understand", he told him to go back to the United States as soon as possible.
It was also because of love that Babu finally understood the deep love for life contained in his father Datri's wish to live to 102 years old. He promised his father that in 43 years, he will break the 102-year-old Guinness World Record, and finally understand how to live is meaningful.
Today, when Indian films are increasingly emerging in the Chinese market, in addition to seeing Bollywood’s skilled shooting skills and production methods, we must also see Indian films showing their ability to portray good stories, good characters, and good emotions. Such a work featuring two white-haired father and son who are completely inconspicuous. There is no cast, no thrilling plot, no high-concept setting. Today, the overall aging of Asia is becoming more and more serious. The nest elderly and the floating youth who are forced to make a living have their own difficulties. The Indian film workers closely follow the hot social topics and write warmly about the family conflicts that we know but do not know, and give gentle solutions.
The problems of the elderly can only be solved by the elderly themselves.
If your children happen to love you, please cherish. If he can't do it, then please cherish your life. No one is parasitic dependent on another life. Only if you love life independently, life will love you alone and treat you well. Even if you live to the oldest one in the world, you will still not be outdated. Let longevity become fashionable. !
I hope that our film market can give more space for this kind of warm movies. After all, the issue of elderly care is not to be avoided, and if you do not mention it, it will automatically disappear. Use a warm way to solve the most intimate contradictions. Why don't we watch such works? It takes two hours to bring a lifetime of thinking, which may be far more worthwhile than spending two hours with blood spurting or laughing.
Three three sauce
2018.9.9
This article was originally published in the "Muweier" public account "Send my son to a nursing home? This movie is extremely creative"
Author public number WW driving without a license
2018.8.17
For reprinting\business cooperation, please contact WeChat: wangjiay_4774 qq:602252469
View more about 102 Not Out reviews
