Erol's father was on a business trip on a plane, but there was no news from him, and he never came back in twelve years. Erol grew up in a family without a father. His mother fell into depression because of the disappearance of her husband, and finally chose to end her life. Grandpa Sal told Ero that his father's disappearance created a time machine. He traveled back to Saint Einstein in 1946. If he wants his father to come back, he can study the time machine together. (Look, I said I haven’t watched the movie before, don’t read the movie reviews, I’m almost finished with this spoiler~)
So Erol, who had a super IQ since childhood, researched the manuscript left by his father with his grandfather. During the period, Erol’s girlfriend Grace became pregnant, and his girlfriend made a baby. He used the assassin of'My mother and I fell into the river, who do you save?' and forced him to ask him if he wants a time machine or with the child himself. Erol decided to stop this and live a good life with his girlfriend. The accidental miscarriage pushed Erol into despair again. He was convinced that he should not live in such a bad life, so he decided to take the time machine to find his father in 1946. In order to ensure that his father gave up his ideals and returned to the family, Erol finally shot himself and ended himself. s life.
Life is always stuck
with the disappearance of Erol's father, which seems to be the trigger point of the whole story. Because of the absence of his father Gabe, Erol did not have a complete childhood, and his mother was deeply depressed, and eventually took medicine to end his life. It is probably the deepest kind of pain for a child that can neither find the father nor keep the mother. Psychoanalysis calls it "fixation." According to Freud, if you encounter a special traumatic experience or over-satisfaction in childhood, a large amount of libido will be consumed or stayed here, so that grown-up adults will show The characteristic of the early stage where the energy is fixed. As grandfather Sal said, Erol’s father created a negative energy. Everyone who is affected by this will live in an alternate reality (Anyone who is effected by that is living an alternate reality). ).
Erol is a compulsive idealist. He believes that all this stems from the departure of his father. If his father does not disappear, his mother will not fall into depression, and he will have a happy childhood and healthy personality. When Grandpa Sal told his father about time travel, Erol desperately devoted himself to the study of the space-time machine. What he wanted to repair was all the imperfect places in the past, so as to change his status quo. And when his girlfriend told Erol that he was pregnant, his reaction was, "I will only become a bad father, and I don't want to pass this on to my children."
Erol's persistence and compulsion seem to be a little willful, which is also his childhood. The performance of fixation, single-mindedly wanted only one result, and determined that only the'past' was corrected, and the'now' could be changed. 'Being driven by a certain kind, knowing that it is not necessary or even harmful, and having to repeat these behaviors over and over again' is the definition of compulsion in psychology. In fact, such behaviors abound in our lives. Because of certain obsessions, they are constantly repeating or sticking to some inherent thinking, behaviors, and even ritualized repetitions. Just like Xie's ears in the Big Bang Theory must knock on the door three times, people are convinced that if you don't do this, the world will be ruined. Erol kept the game of chess before his father left. On a psychological level, as he thought, life went wrong, just because he made the wrong piece. As long as he made every move right, he would win it back. Father and the lost goodness.
What is compulsive repetition
Erol's story aptly reveals a concept of'compulsive repetition'. First of all, what was missing earlier will want to be doubled back in future life. Secondly, the relationship with our parents is the first relationship we are born with. In this relationship, we learn how to get love, how to love, how to get along, how to maintain the relationship, the bits and pieces of early getting along with parents (or caregivers) have formed an inherent pattern in our brains. When getting along with others, Our brain repeats this pattern unconsciously, especially in intimate relationships. Therefore, these early experiences affect our attitudes, behaviors, and expectations in interpersonal relationships, and to a large extent determine how we love, feel, and get along with each other.
Individuals keep repeating a traumatic event or situation, including constantly recreating a similar time, or repeatedly placing themselves in a situation where a similar bed is very likely to reoccur. This is called repetition compulsion (Repetition Compulsion). ). Erol was originally a carefree little boy. The disappearance of his father changed his life completely. The mother no longer had more energy on his son. On the contrary, Erol gradually learned to take care of his mother, no matter in life. Emotionally. There is a detail in the film. Erol prepares breakfast for her mother, asks her about seeing the doctor, and tells her to take medicine. All of this is very skillful, like it happens every day, but the mother looks like a rebellious adolescent child.
Many people will "seem to grow up overnight" when life changes drastically. We become the "caregivers" of our parents. Over time, we have become unaware of the role of this kind of "caregivers". Sleep. Erol's care for his girlfriend (helping him prepare essays and cooking for him) is also the same pattern that he repeats with his mother in his emotional life. He has become accustomed to being a'caregiver' and keeping him in his own by taking care of a person. in life.
In the end, the care failed to keep his mother, and Erol's mother chose to end her life. Erol's mother is an artistically talented woman who also has the characteristics of a depressive personality. She was introduced to Gabe by her father during the sorrowful period of her mother's death, and fell in love with one of them at first sight. After the disappearance of her husband, she fell into a long depression. Her research direction was all about the'disappearing art'. She copied her memory source day by day, and finally gave up psychotherapy and medication support.
In the film, in order not to drag her son, she chooses to end her life. But in fact, this is not the first time she has attempted suicide. Grandpa mentioned that when Erol was 15 years old, she had tried suicide for the first time. It is conceivable that such a gloomy mother will have a heavy impact on the growth of little Erol. (It is necessary to mention here that in general, taking antidepressant drugs requires a dose change under the guidance of a doctor. Stopping the drug without authorization may easily cause suicidal thoughts or behavior).
The death of his mother was a big blow to Erol. On a certain level, he refused to accept it, which prompted him to start studying the space-time machine. Regardless of whether he admits it or not, in everyone's mind, it is easy to attribute parental disputes and family encounters to "my own fault, that is, "I was not good that caused my father to leave, and it was my bad that caused my mother to commit suicide." This kind of deep self-blame can easily make a person go to extremes, or become his/her core perception of himself, that is,'I am bad, everything is my fault'.
Erol is convinced that if everything is corrected, no bad luck will happen. 'what's wrong of wanting mother and father weren't dead'.'If everything goes perfectly, I will become a child'. Regardless of his girlfriend's objections, Erol insisted on developing a space-time machine, because in his heart, only when his father came back could his whole life be back on track, and he could be the happy little boy himself. This is the ultimate meaning of compulsive repetition. We keep repeating the scars and patterns of the past in one relationship after another. We subconsciously hope that father can be father and mother can be mother, so that we can be that again. Carefree child.
If the past is corrected, are you still you?
In fact, Erol itself has the opportunity to repair the trauma of his early years, that is, the emotional relationship with his girlfriend (a good intimacy is the repair of the past relationship). This is also the key to cutting off the'compulsive repetition' and living in the existing reality. In the relationship, and try to live every day. In the face of the fact that his girlfriend is pregnant, Erol finally decided to give up studying and start to manage the future of two people. But the accidental miscarriage of his girlfriend made his plan to'live in the present' once again terminated.
In order to lose everything, he once again began to develop the space-time machine. At the end of the film, Erol said'It's not about correcting anymore, I'm going to make sure this doesn't happen to us again, next time we meet, we'll have our whole wonderful lives ahead of us' (This time does not Regarding correction again, I want to make sure that this will not happen again. Next time we meet, there will be a perfect life waiting for us). This time, Erol got on the space-time machine and traveled to 1946. Seeing his father, he also expressed his heart: I've been selfish and neglectful, I had a child, I had a life with grace and I fucked it up' (I was selfish and careless, I had a child, I Lived with Grace but I ruined everything). Erol understands that a workaholic father will not give up his ideals because of his family. In order to force his father to return home, he raised a gun and killed himself.
At the end of the film, Gabe returns home, and Erol is still a happy little boy. But once again the problem arises. If the past is corrected, are you still you? The past experience has shaped the personality of this moment, and it is exactly the same. Each of us has a different experience of this world, and after changing the past, is the'me' at this moment still not me?
Psychological counseling is just like the timeline drawn by Erol on the wall. We use a little bit of combing through the past to understand how some past events and relationships affect our current experience, thoughts and behaviors, and dealing with past events can help us to understand The view of the world has changed. In other words, it is for us to learn how to get along with the world better, to have the ability to love and work, and to feel sincerely satisfied with this ability. Different from the time and space shuttle, the psychological journey is to take a road to the inner. This road will not fall into the quagmire because of the "safety mechanism" like a consultant. The focus of work is not to change what has already happened. It is through years of exploration to understand the influence of the past on oneself, realize personal growth, and focus on the present moment to influence the future.
At the end of the film, Erol changed the past and Dad returned home, but can life really be as perfect as he hoped from then on? Let this suspense continue to surround everyone's mind. However, before the invention of the space-time machine, it may be a good choice to start a spiritual exploration with a consultant and start a journey of self-growth. Isn't the movie in The Sims?
Two slots
a, the little Erol is so cute, the image of adulthood is obviously dysfunctional~
b, when I crossed back to 1946, I found a few group performers to put on clothes and walk around, the scene was still on that campus, even the setting was not equipped , Director, you are really saving money~
Two small topics
1 About the treatment of loss The loss in the
story has not been handled well, whether it is Erol’s mother’s loss of her mother and husband, or Erol’s father’s departure, The mother’s death, the girlfriend’s miscarriage. For the important loss in life, people have the mentality of'avoidance'. This is our self-protection mechanism: in order to avoid deeper suffering, we choose not to face the departure of our loved ones. It is important Of loss. But it is precisely this kind of avoidance that may accumulate more negative emotions and cause deeper troubles in daily life. Therefore, if there are'important losses' in your life (death of relatives, emotional breakdown, miscarriage, major changes, etc.), I hope you can contact the counselor as soon as possible to deal with these parts in a professional environment.
2 About the dispute between father and son
The most meaningful part of the film is about Erol's dream, and his father compares his transcript with himself. Father is good, narcissistic, and wants to change the world on his own. As a son, Erol has been playing with his father since he was a child. Whether it's chess or a time machine, I want to beat my father. This is what Freud called the Oedipus complex,'defeat the father and possess the mother'. In addition, another interpretation of the film is that Erol has traveled through time and space many times, and each time he hoped his father would make the right choice. Among them, he shot and killed his father, deliberately left his pocket watch, and took the newspaper from that year. To my father, I hope my father will change his mind, but it still doesn't work, so he chooses to travel through time and space again and shoot himself to commit suicide, forcing everything to develop in the way he wants. Forced children have a heart that would rather self-destruct than keep everything on track.
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