Connor (James McAvoy) and Ilano (Jessica Chastain) are a couple who have been married for many years. They seem to be happy and happy. However, a tragedy has happened and Ilanno is determined to leave this stable life. Go down to Connor to find a new beginning. The sudden move made Connor suddenly at a loss. On the one hand, he wanted to solve the mystery left by Ilano, and on the other hand, he wanted to relocate his life. As for Elano, she actually didn't know what she wanted, so she could only deliberately make changes in order to find a solution. The two films in the "Because of Love" series "After She Disappears" (Him, hereinafter referred to as "He") and "After Leaving Him" (Her, hereinafter referred to as "She") are about the process of two separate people seeking answers .
First of all, we must understand what love is? Roland Barthes (1915-1980) once said: "If I had no hope before, I would not fall in love." Caritas is a kind of will that comes from expectation and hope for what we lack Just like in Plato’s love myth, people seek to meet their other half in order to be complete. Such love may be shining with a charming fate, but there is also a certain danger. If Consummation must be based on the union of two semicircles, it means that love is the fusion of two people and the elimination of self-boundary. This is what Zhang Xiaohong described as "healing is heaven, and division is purgatory." At the beginning of "He", Connor and Ilano have not yet separated, so the two are crazy like lovers in love, and their sweetness is beyond words; "She" starts in a completely different atmosphere, and Ilano quietly jumped down from the bridge. , Because there has been a rift in the relationship between the two. Comparing the two, isn't it heaven and hell?
Zhang Xiaohong also said: "Love is sometimes like sulfuric acid, a kind of mutual penetration between you and me." Although "He" opened the curtain with the beauty of love, Connor's phrase "I have only one heart. Treat me well" as a tragic prophecy, Ra raised his serious loss after Elano announced his departure, because he had already regarded her as the "center of gravity of life." In other words, when Connor entered this relationship, he left his ego-correctly speaking, gave up the possibility of self-exploration-to blend with Ilano. Therefore, in "He", Connor keeps looking for the traces of Elano, following her steps, intending to find himself from Elano; in "She", Elano chooses to learn about people , The subject of the subject, I want to explore myself from myself.
"Before I met you, I didn't know who I was. I didn't start to understand until I met you, but now I feel confused." Connor confessed. Compared to Connor's dependence on Ilano and always fulfilling herself from her, Ilano doesn't seem to need Connor so much. After leaving Connor, Elano immediately cut off the news and began to move towards a new life. In the beginning, Elano was indeed much more chic, but gradually, she began to take the initiative to walk into Connor's life. It turns out that Elano also needs Connor. Her departure, her change, and her unrestrainedness are basically deliberate. It's like cutting her short hair to mark a watershed in life. Maybe it's bright, but it's too artificial. Looking back carefully, aren't all Elano's words and deeds like this? "Next, I want to do something different and accept different ideas," she said. Whether it is accepting change or being brave to change, it is not a bad thing. After all, life is built on change, and nothing remains normal. The problem is that Elano is changing for the sake of change, forcing itself to change in order to escape the past. This is why she would ask Connor to have an affair for no reason, hoping to break through the situation; this is why when Katie (Jess Weixler) cares about her condition, she replied with "I can "pretend" it's okay" , The next second he said: "I suddenly started to miss him."
If Elano is desperate for change, Connor is afraid of change. Connor's father (Ciarán Hinds) once mentioned the "comfort zone", thinking that Connor was too indulged in it like him, and he was unwilling to step out. Connor is indulging in the easy life he built with Elano. Therefore, following Elano is not only to find his own existence, but also to love the "comfort circle." In fact, Connor did not make changes. After losing his son, he was eager to get out of his pain and continue to live his life. However, it is not difficult to realize that Connor's "change" is basically for "unchanging" and for a quick return to the "comfort zone" as long as he deliberates over and over again. Obviously, Connor's vision of love is very simple, and he still lingers in eternal expectations, hoping for immortality. Connor and Ilano, one side always clings to the past and stagnates; the other side desperately puts aside the past, eager to move forward. As Elano’s father (played by William Hurt) said: “Tragedy is a distant country. We don’t know how to communicate with the locals.” Because we can’t communicate, everyone faces it in their own way, making it right to join hands. The two people who are advancing side by side have differences, and even pull each other, and will eventually face a stalemate. No wonder Ned Benson does not have to deliberately emphasize the grief of losing a child, because their relationship is already in crisis.
There are inevitably differences between people, making everyone a lonely individual, but don't forget that differences are also a prerequisite for complementarity. Just like Ilano's parents, one is a scholar who represents rationality, and the other is a perceptual performer. How can the two stay in love with each other to this day? My father thought it was "patience." In order to love, we have to resolve differences first, and patience—or acceptance, becomes the only way. Love is unconditional, love is altruistic.
Producer Cassandra Kulukundis said in an interview: "Every relationship begins with happiness, until something bad happens... At this point you have to make a decision: whether your relationship is firmly rooted and you can continue to work together. The fate is gone, and we can only part ways.” In "He" and "She", Ned Benson deliberately differentiated the scenes of the two scenes, including the ending: the end of "He", The positions of the two were reversed, and Ilano was behind Connor; and "She" ended in the confrontation between the two. No matter what, it leaves an open space for imagination, which is really interesting.
Compared with "He" which is depressed because of indulging in the sadness of loss, "She" has a more healing effect with the transformation of Ilano. Especially when I watched "He" first, and then "She", the last look at each other suddenly rekindled their feelings. Because the eyes can ignite the spark of love, and "seeing" has established each other's existence in their hearts. I think they can still move forward hand in hand; at least I believe so.
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