One is a female porter who leads a secret literary life, and the other is a genius girl with suicidal tendencies. Loneliness and forbearance always torment those frustrated people subtly, whether you are in a mansion or a simple bungalow living alone, whether you are rich or poor, regardless of age or experience, the kind of despair in your heart is always There will be waves.
The girl plans to commit suicide on her birthday, and then uses the camera to take pictures of the endless life she likes to be a goldfish bowl during the countdown to her life. She graffiti on the wall, stole every day and talk about the need to see a psychiatrist and anti-stress medicine. The medicine of her neurotic mother, she let the goldfish take the medicine, and then watched the creature dying like her own. She accurately calculates the lethal dose of the medicine. She has an incomparable mind, but a genius is always lonely. She looked at the stars decorated on the wall of the room in the dark night, and sighed, chasing the stars, it was like a goldfish dying in the tank.
The concierge lives alone at the bottom indifferently every day. She has been a widow for 15 years and has not gone to school, but in her room with barely many square meters, there is a room of books. No one takes care of her life, only one is lazy. s cat. She called it Lev, taken from "Anna Karenina", but no one would pay attention. She was sloppy and cut her hair casually. Wearing clothes that don't fit, always show a blank expression and routine. She is like a hedgehog, covered with thorns, building a fortress of the soul. She dared not go shopping, she laughed at herself for being old, ugly and fat, and she was afraid of the contemptuous look of the salesperson during the fitting. There is chocolate afternoon tea in the refrigerator, and under the dim light every night, she is the only one and a few shelves full of spiritual food.
When a person is extremely lonely, what he seeks is not to break the pattern of loneliness, but to desperately seek another outlet that can fill the wounds of his soul. The girl thought it was death, and the porter thought it was thinking.
Of course, it's more than this that really moved me. The appearance of the wise and elegant middle-aged Japanese man broke the life of the concierge. She didn't have the right clothes. Because of her almost claustrophobic isolation, her friend borrowed a set of clothes from the bereaved in the laundry room and arranged a designer for her. At the moment of complete transformation, she hesitated for a long time, and then saw a strange and familiar herself in the mirror. In those clichéd bubble dramas, there are often such bridges interspersed, but it has never surprised me like this time. Of course, it's not exactly the appearance. It's like in the street where the dawn is faintly exposed, someone lights a match for you. The liberation of the soul may not require such drastic measures, only a few drops of rain. At this moment, she re-examined the world.
But when the man invited the restaurant to dinner again, she hesitated. She reminded herself over and over again that the disparity of identity and inner sanity made all these fantasies come to an abrupt end. The girl holding the camera asked her the reason, and then she burst into tears. This woman who had always followed the rules and indifferent finally showed her weakest side. Then the girl walked over and hugged her. Two lonely souls fit so well at that moment. The girl describes her. From the outside, she is covered with thorns, which is an indestructible fortress in the true sense. From the inside, she also has the same delicateness as a hedgehog. She likes to close herself in no one's land. But it has extraordinary elegance.
In the end, she defeated herself, went to the appointment, and on the way back, the middle-aged man stretched out his arm, and then she held him, the noble and graceful expression in her eyebrows was by no means inferior to the wives of any power in this pile of rich people. , So much so that her neighbors didn't recognize her when she went out. Then they said goodbye in the corridor, and she was looking for the soul mate, and she was also ready to follow God's wonderful arrangement.
But this is not a fairy tale. When she finally went out simply not to deal with rubbish, when she stood in a happy mood and walked out of the iron gate, standing on the road shouting, she fell.
Happy people are similar, and unfortunate people have their own misfortunes. People are floating, and they will always taste these two situations. We have been happy and unfortunate. Sometimes there will be miraculous existence to save you, sometimes it will perish forever. The girl stood in the iron gate watching the body in the porter being carried into the ambulance, and began to question the power of death. Maybe this was not a real relief. She took the goldfish rescued by the porter and almost asked, the most important thing is not death, but what you were doing when you died, Honey, are you ready to love, right? The life of that goldfish is still alive, and the self-evident magic of life is that it is destroyed in one place, but can miraculously be resurrected in another place. Just like the departure of the concierge, it brought the girl's reversible fate to explore, but unfortunately, that hedgehog could not love it anymore.
We are all a hedgehog, but not everyone is elegant. Life and feelings are the same. We are delighted with the initial enthusiasm, touch and freshness, but not many people can keep this innocence for a long time. The world materializes everything, and one day we will be lonely and sentimental for money, space, freedom, and even firewood, rice, oil and salt, and become the hedgehog covered in thorns that cannot be embraced. Only the hope in our hearts is still lingering in the simple years of the past. . We began to build fortresses, forbidden areas, and carefully sought relief. This process repeats itself, often for a lifetime.
A lonely soul cannot be seen with the naked eye. In the crowd, you are actually more lonely. We hope to let go of the loneliness of being old and helpless, but is there anyone who will save us? Lucky as a concierge, like the humble Japanese man, with a simple conversation, you can discover the extraordinary she hides under her lazy appearance. Only when the souls meet and know each other can we get rid of the ultimate loneliness of life.
Death is not the most important thing, what is important is what you are doing when you die.
Similarly, love is not the most important thing. What is important is how much tolerance, bargaining chips and deadlines you can add to this love when you love. You don’t long for temporary tenderness, but for permanent souls. Even if the love that shook the sky was given to that alert hedgehog in the corner.
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