Children's philosophy. When we were children, no one read this philosophy. When we grew up, we forgot.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder has always existed. It is the only thing left as a child that makes me understand myself so much now. I kept biting my fingers, saying "goodbye" over and over again, threw the little animal I raised into the sky and watched it fall to the ground, fell into a fantasy muttering to myself, got up in the middle of the night and knocked on the door again and again, covering another with correction fluid Ink, repeating a swear word in the toilet, playing the same set of sounds tirelessly. . . I never think clearly and don't know who I am.
I have thought about it many times, but I still can't understand who I am. I can never untie it. I struggled back from the edge of the roof, and then I walked to the side of the line. A normal world. Sometimes I accidentally crossed this line back into a different world. Some people left upside down, but some people still smile at me normally.
When I took the math test, I thought over and over again, why 1+1=2? , And then forced myself to stop. Over and over and over and over again what I wrote like 7 of 1. My physics book could never explain all the problems I thought of, and then I saw that my grades fell behind. I just discovered that there are two mes, and I force me to do something. Then I slowly learned to control one of them. I went back to the normal world.
Why has no one thought about "why" and why we only accept "what". I have many questions. I sit down, I see one thing, and then I think of another thing, and then everything is out of control. I can keep thinking like this. You can't stop me. Only I can.
Phoebe In Wonderland, I saw myself for the first time. I accept myself first.
I just like to sit on the ground by myself and read a book. I allow the other one to exist. It turns out that because of this, I have never been alone.
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