Phoebe In Wonderland, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Child Philosophy

Arne 2022-01-24 08:03:44

I'm this person. When I kept washing my hands so that my joints bleed, when I jumped into the grid, and then I fell down.

Children's philosophy. When we were children, no one read this philosophy. When we grew up, we forgot.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder has always existed. It is the only thing left as a child that makes me understand myself so much now. I kept biting my fingers, saying "goodbye" over and over again, threw the little animal I raised into the sky and watched it fall to the ground, fell into a fantasy muttering to myself, got up in the middle of the night and knocked on the door again and again, covering another with correction fluid Ink, repeating a swear word in the toilet, playing the same set of sounds tirelessly. . . I never think clearly and don't know who I am.

I have thought about it many times, but I still can't understand who I am. I can never untie it. I struggled back from the edge of the roof, and then I walked to the side of the line. A normal world. Sometimes I accidentally crossed this line back into a different world. Some people left upside down, but some people still smile at me normally.

When I took the math test, I thought over and over again, why 1+1=2? , And then forced myself to stop. Over and over and over and over again what I wrote like 7 of 1. My physics book could never explain all the problems I thought of, and then I saw that my grades fell behind. I just discovered that there are two mes, and I force me to do something. Then I slowly learned to control one of them. I went back to the normal world.

Why has no one thought about "why" and why we only accept "what". I have many questions. I sit down, I see one thing, and then I think of another thing, and then everything is out of control. I can keep thinking like this. You can't stop me. Only I can.

Phoebe In Wonderland, I saw myself for the first time. I accept myself first.

I just like to sit on the ground by myself and read a book. I allow the other one to exist. It turns out that because of this, I have never been alone.

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Extended Reading

Phoebe in Wonderland quotes

  • [last lines]

    Caterpillar: Who are you?

    Phoebe: I hardly know, sir, right now. At least I knew who I was when I got up this morning. But I think I've must have changed many times since then.

    Caterpillar: Explain yourself.

    Phoebe: I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly, for I can't understand it myself to begin with. And being so many different sizes in a day, it is very confusing.

    Caterpillar: It isn't.

    Phoebe: Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet, but when you have to turn into a chrysalis - you will some day, you know - and then into a beautiful butterfly, I think you'll feel a little odd.

    Caterpillar: Not a bit.

    Phoebe: Your feelings may be different. All I know is, it would feel very strange to me.

    Caterpillar: You? Who are you?

    Phoebe: [just stares brightly]

  • Phoebe: I can see myself wrecking and ruining. But I can't stop myself.