Also published on my blog .
The series reminded me of my very personal experiences. I somehow feel to be the combination of both Mae and George. How? Mae is much needed. And George is surrounded by those mean "friends".
I left my hometown about 4 years ago. In a new city, with everything new, I tried to stay connected to my old life-those friends, those habits, basically everything I can. But things can not always be that ideal. Trying to hold on to every person around me made me really hard. I had to tolerate their bad habits, their judgement, and even sometimes discrimination. Until today, I am still doing those things, trying to please others. I know that's not a great way to let others know me. I keep on putting others feel good as the first principle to communicate with others. That's bad, not only for me but for them.
Maybe someday, or starting today, I should stand up and defend myself, and my values. It's not necessarily intensive as what George does in the show. I can explore a new way, my way.
As for the part like Mae, there's too much to say. The writing is superb for effectively showing how Mae is dependent on George. I am insecure in almost all my relationships, while most of them suck. I have taken considerable time in figuring out the relationship. Do those guys fancy me, or do they merely treat me like a sex toy, a method to kill time? I always need some confirmation, and I mean it it's always. I am afraid the status is not synchronised with the other . I may make some move far beyond. I may take the other my whole world. I may, just like Mae, get addicted to the other. Is that good? After the show, I am still confused. Those questions always pop up in my mind.Will he still pay attention to me after he has completely got me? Will he still enjoy my terrible jokes? Am I still making him comfortable? Will I get abandoned one day? I get addicted because of my lack of confidence, our difference and my bad memories, maybe.
In the series, Mae relapses. Will I relapse just like her over and over? Let's see.
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