Suddenly I wanted to talk about my feelings about this topic as a bystander and experiencer in my growth experience.
For most children from traditional Chinese families my age, mothers and fathers find it difficult to find the label of "sex". The deepest impression related to it was that I accidentally opened the door to see the parents in the bulging quilt on the bed, and then quickly closed the door without mentioning it afterwards; and named "XX data" in the father's computer. Strange video found in's folder.
In addition, parents seem to have no desires, and they seem to try their best to hide this part of human life from me. On many topics in this country, people adopt an attitude of "not saying it means not there".
Recalling the parents’ sex education for their daughters, probably before the university’s departure, “Don’t go out with male classmates at night” and “Don’t have physical contact with boys”. No one said anything. At that time, when I listened, I wanted to laugh and felt sad. In their view, their daughter of "excellent character and academic" should have nothing to do with these topics. The daughter should be at a suitable age, finish the master's degree, enter into marriage with a "safe" person, and welcome the child in one or two years. As for how to learn to "make a baby", it is a topic that shouldn't be mentioned.
In this way, this topic in the family is naturally hidden.
Like parents, daughters also hide this part of their lives from them. They won’t know when I tasted the first kiss, and they won’t know the other lips that I’ve missed afterwards; they won’t know the love I talked about for more than two years, and the little ones that explored each other's body. Uneasy and joyful; they didn’t know the strange man they met on the night way home from the high school evening self-study, nor did they know that their daughter came home with knives, chili water and companions; they didn’t know that the condom was hidden in the middle of the wallet. ; I don’t know that the close boy who always thought to be my boyfriend belongs to a group called "homosexual"...
I took the initiative not to bring up these topics, because I knew that they were not prepared to accept them. I also don't want the world they are satisfied with now to collapse suddenly.
Our generation is actually ushering in a period when China's perception of "sex" is gradually changing. Fortunately, these topics are still hidden when they grow up. Most of the known sex education comes from the Internet, where the quality of the content varies from good to bad, and sometimes the initial choice actually paves the way for future problems in life. Think of the boys who have never respected the feelings of girls. How can those behaviors have no source? Just like Brandon in the play, those hands holding Chole's head, ignoring Chole can hardly breathe, are you familiar with this scene?
(Of course, girls with this preference are excluded here, "informed consent" is the most important point)
Many of the resources we obtain for sex education, especially mainstream pornographic movies watched by most boys, often have oppressive and humiliating behaviors implicit in them. This often causes many teenagers to be confused when they first try, especially for girls. They may not like being humiliated or forced by swear words, suffocation and pain, and brutal behavior is not attractive to all girls. But the image created by the mainstream will create the illusion of "I'm supposed to like all those things", and may have laid the foundation for many people to "act" throughout their lives. (Forgive me for being a bit mean here)
At this time, we have to talk about the issue of "sex" being hidden. This time, it is between people of the same age.
Many people are practitioners of sex, but they rarely talk about it. A typical example is Aimee in the second season of "Sex Education". He has always tried his best to be a professional "actress", but was exposed by a new boyfriend, "Tell me what you really like". Aimee is very lucky to have this opportunity. Most girls of this age are reluctant to mention it and rarely have the opportunity to be questioned.
Sometimes they think this is a kind of sinful happiness, and how dare they dare to pursue and study more in this.
The above narratives are based on my own and friends' experiences and feelings. They may not be so representative, but they will definitely resonate.
Think about how lucky I've been along the way. From junior high school, high school to university, most of the friends I met had a tolerant attitude and serious curiosity. They regarded this topic as a scientific and reasonable thing to discuss and improve. Because of this, I understand more closely and truthfully how a person who likes the same sex grows up all the way, and also know how those unpleasant experiences feel. I know that it is not shameful to talk about them, and I am also very happy to see that with a little impetus, we will really explore and start to change.
I am also very happy to be able to meet my boyfriend today, to have a beautiful and respectful experience, and to consider each other's feelings. This is a hard-won virtue in any behavior and relationship.
I love walking on the old and open campus, passing by couples kissing by the dormitory building after evening classes, and couples on the benches by the lake. There is a boy on Shifang playing the guitar, drinking wine and talking to his friends who are still happy when he knows that it is commonplace. I found a lot of people in the garden with a gratifying attitude towards many topics. Thinking about it this way, most of the children born today can be spared too much concealment and taboo. It is rare for us to be able to mention a little bit of it honestly.
The most impressive thing in "Mrs. Fletcher" is the shock when the mother and son discover different scenes from each other. The mother didn't know that the son was so rough. The son found that his mother was engaged in 3P with his previous bullying target. The feelings of both parties can be imagined (I am also a little scared hh).
Single mothers have hidden this problem for too long, knowing their inner desires, but because of the constraints of traditional ideas, they will only solve or fantasize by themselves; the son has been mixed with a group of smoky straight men in the small town high school for too long, always a bully&jerk character of. What they need is to face this topic more, more discussion, to get to know more people, to understand different viewpoints, and to experience it.
The hostess has a good colleague who took her to explore herself and said "you can kiss anyone", the girl her son also met and gave him a punch, let him know that she was really "wrong". They all get what they need in this stage of life.
You see, "sex" has never been a topic for a person to think about. It needs to be explored, and needs to know different opinions and feelings. It is a problem that needs to be addressed squarely, and it is also a beautiful and shining corner of a person's life.
Come and talk with me.
Wechat: Hailee and her strawberry field
ID: strawberryfffields
View more about Mrs. Fletcher reviews
