As usual, I downloaded the movie and watched it by myself.
I am not an only child, so I was not alone when I was a child. I have brothers and sisters, classmates and friends to play. On the contrary, now, everyone is scattered in their own time, there is no intersection, no contact, no chance to speak. Only now have I realized what it means to be lonely as we grow older. At first we met in a creek, we bumped into each other’s lives, the creek would always end, and then we merged into the river, we still Not far apart, I can still hear my friends talking, and I can see friends playing. Later, the river returned to the sea, and the turbulent waves washed us away, each had a way to go, and each had no freedom, and struggling to swim in the direction that he thought.
What is growing up? What should I do now? No one has ever told me that I have not received a letter from my father to my son, nor have I heard my mother say that I have grown up, and the teacher only taught me how to take the exam. Of course I don’t blame anyone for it, I know they don’t. My family has been farmers for generations, and I have never seen the world outside the village, let alone show me a bright road. I believe that many people will understand my situation. I know that there are many people who come from the countryside like me, read some books, and then struggle in society. Many people behind are optimistic about me, but they are not me, they don't understand my world. Through the development of society, I can see many things. I even understand the world. I know that it is not easy for people like us to have a dream, so I try my best to defend it. Knowing all the annoying things, knowing everything, you have to do what you can, knowing your background, knowing your humbleness, is this a grown-up? Does growing up mean not doing anything, but thinking about the consequences? The one you love was once in front of you, but didn't dare to come forward and say something? Is it just to grow up to recognize your own humbleness? No wonder so many people don't want to grow up.
I often don’t write things centrally. I think about it randomly. Sometimes I think it’s a waste of time to write an influential film review. Sometimes I think it’s a little hole close to my dream. Maybe one day I will grind the little hole into it. Big hole, into another world. If you are like me, would you feel that our level of talent is the most painful in the world: the people behind us lift us up so that we can get close to something similar to an exit, and then we find ourselves at another level. We have seen a different world, but it is very far away and very dazzling. We yearn, we imagine, we desire, we struggle, but we never seem to get it. We think too much, so that we can’t sleep at night, but we can do too little. It's like being at the entrance of a hole, and we can climb up a little bit, just a little bit.
I sometimes envy my dad. He doesn't care about what the outside world is like. He doesn't think much about it. It's easier to live like this. But he sent me to the entrance of the cave, and then I can only rely on myself.
After I grew up, I found out that I can live not only to inherit the family, but also to live for the things I like. You will find that some people can spend their entire life doing one thing, and some people can do whatever they want regardless of the consequences. But I have to try to give back to my parents, organize a family, and live in the lives of most people. This may be a responsibility, a responsibility for the family, for myself, and even for society, at least in the country where we live. People in the past will use "grow up" to force you to submit.
I can't escape the great wheel of the times. I will either be under it now, or run faster and be underneath again in the future. I was dissatisfied with the status quo, wanted to struggle, wanted to do something, only to realize that it was like a drop of rain hitting the sea, and the ripples couldn't be shaken a little. Only now has I discovered that I have no sense of belonging, living in a social isolation zone, where the good side can't get in, and the side behind don't want to go back.
Some people say that when you feel pressured in life, you just grow up. Well, I've grown up completely. I don't have Ted by my side. I don't smoke or take drugs, but I don't necessarily like people. People are so strange. I want to have something better. In fact, my current life is pretty good, but there is something better out there. If I were to say something upward, I would say: Progress in contentment. Growing up is not terrible, and loneliness is only temporary. The ending of all stories is good in the end. If not, it means that the story will continue.
I can't say that I like this movie very much. Maybe it doesn't even have a share of my favorite TOP50. It just understands something in the movie and has nothing to do with the movie. Just as John and Laurie’s wishes will come true, all wishes will come true. That day, all the sun shines for only one person. What needs to be done now is to look forward to that day.
I like movies because they always give people hope. Even the worst movies have people like a rainbow. I am an idealist, I hope to be better, why not?
For Ted
2012-11-17
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