Sun Wukong, let me tell you, what if you become a King Kong, even if you become a Transformer, I can still recognize you!
-----------Synopsis-----------
Today, I will tell you a love action story that happened on the island.
Tang Seng (played by Dou Sen) and Zixia Fairy (played by Brie Larson),
S.H.I.E.L.D. Director Ba Jie (Samuel Jackson),
Drifting,
And a group of younger brothers went to Xitian to learn the scriptures, and before that, they had to go to Huaguoshan to find Monkey King.
Tang Seng has a natural fear of being a big guy like Monkey King. He can hardly forget the painful experience of being beaten by another big guy, so he asked to pay five times the commission before he was willing to go on the road.
Since they have entered the 20th century, they have to keep up with the trend of the times, so the white dragon horse has also evolved into a white dragon helicopter.
Leave you!
They took a white dragon helicopter to Huaguo Mountain and met Monkey King.
One of them saw that Monkey King was so handsome and said excitedly: "I want to give you a monkey!" So he teased Monkey King and shot him in the mouth.
And Monkey King is not to be outdone. He is the champion of fancy jet fighters, and he does not have heavy styles in jet fighters in various postures.
He can fight like this,
Fight like this,
Fight like this,
There is still such a fight.
The Buddha said that obtaining the scriptures requires ninety-nine and eighty-one difficulties. Monkey King can't directly go to the west with somersault clouds, and Tang Seng naturally can't take a white dragon helicopter. In response to the call of "hard work", Monkey King blasted down all the Bailong helicopters.
Seeing that the Bailong helicopter was gone, Ba Jie and Drifting planned to go back to each house and find their own mothers. In the past, when they dispersed, they took the burden alone and the white dragon horse. This time, the Bailong helicopters were all smashed by Monkey King, and Ba Jie and Drifting had a dispute over the uneven distribution of the spoils.
Ba Jie’s expression at this moment is like this:
The Drift’s response to this was:
Seeing that disputes and complaints could not solve the problem, the two brothers shook hands and made peace, thinking of a solution while on the road.
On the way, Ba Jie saw the spider spirit and jumped on excitedly.
Brother: These are the real long legs. Below the neck are all legs.
Spider Spirit: Excuse me, can I interrupt?
Brother: Humans speak, animals don't interrupt.
Spider Essence: Spicy chicken, you only have to lick my feet. I'll stick this mouth.
As he said, the spider stuck his leg into his mouth.
Ba Jie was very angry at the casual interruption and decided to (sweep) his face.
Spider spirit: I am a spider!
Bajie: I am also a pig!
Then Ba Jie exploded the spider spirit.
Later, they saw a village in the local area. The Tang monk said: The poor monk came from the East of the Tang Dynasty and went to the west to worship the Buddha and ask for sutras. He passed by here, hoping to stay overnight.
It just so happened that Thor's brother who had fallen off that day (not that) was also here, so he led the villagers to accept them.
Thor told them that when they came here, the bombs they placed had released at least a group of bone spirits, at least 36. This is the allusion of "three fights of bone spirits". (One dozen is 12)
The next day, one of Tang Seng’s younger brother was peeking at the beautiful woman bathing by the river, and suddenly saw a monster, he said smoothly: "Second Battalion Commander, take my Italy..."
Before he finished speaking, it turned out that it was not a monster, but the Monkey King. He saw that he was a friendly army, and immediately changed his words: "Take my Italian...seafood noodles to the friendly army for a taste!"
It is worth mentioning that Monkey King used to wash his wounds here. It still hurts his body to hit the plane eight times a day, so much so that he has blood on his right hand. Monkey King, you are flying a plane with your life!
After eating the seafood noodles, Monkey King was very happy and helped Fairy Zixia take away the wreckage of the Bailong helicopter that was on the body of the Niu Devil. This was the first time Sun Wukong saw Fairy Zixia and fell in love with her without hesitation.
Tang Seng and the others also saw a huge palm print on the cliff. They guessed that it was left by Monkey King when he practiced the palm of the Tathagata. Of course, it is also possible that Monkey King wiped his ass with his hand after shit, and then wiped it on the wall.
Afterwards, they started the repair work on the Bailong helicopter and transformed it into a white dragon boat. They sailed on the water in a white dragon boat, and they played music on the radio, and then they sang: Xiaoxiaozhupai in the middle of the river...
On the way, the black brother helped Jing Tian open cans, and Jing Tian also sang Lei Jun's famous song "Are you OK".
After landing, they came to the territory of the bone spirits. Bone Bone Spirit is a senior stock investor. As the stock market has been fluttering green recently, his territory has been covered with a layer of green.
In order to make the stock market popular, the red boy of Tang Seng's side breathed fire and burned the bone spirits.
Tang Seng is also very repulsive to the green system because his ex-girlfriend has already had a new love. Tang Seng burst into flames and roared, "My sword is already hungry and thirsty!" Then he took out his sword and killed the Quartet.
In the end, Fairy Zixia took out Note7 and exploded the bone spirit to death.
In the evening, Monkey King saw Tang Seng and Fairy Zixia together, he was very angry, so he was about to beat Bajie.
Bajie is very unhappy: Tang Seng robbed your woman, why are you beating me?
Monkey King: Master has a curse, I dare not move him, so I have to take your knife.
Ba Jie thought, Monkey King and he are both black skinned, and they should not be bad guys. In order to make Monkey King a golden eye, he set fire to him.
Ba Jie is also preparing to connect 10 Note 7 in series to blow up Monkey King, prompting him to become a King Kong Immortal. After all, you don't even have the "King Kong indestructible body", so why are you embarrassed to call yourself "King Kong"?
This move was stopped by Monk Tang. After all, pigs can be killed at will, but monkeys can't. Because monkeys are state-protected animals, the lowest level is Grade II, killing monkeys is a felony.
At this moment, the biggest bone spirit suddenly appeared and bit Sun Wukong's right hand.
Monkey King: Hit people without slapping your face, biting people without biting your hands. I'm still single, you bit my hand, how can I fly?
The bone spirit is very depressed, after all, the other party would rather take a plane than accept himself. The two fought until dawn. One of Tang Seng's younger brother gave up his life for justice, holding Note7 in his hand, preparing to die with the bones.
The Bone Essence: "Are you a joke sent by a monkey?" Then he shot him on the wall.
Monkey King said: Why don't you ask the magic brick.
Then he took out the golden cudgel and fought with the white bone spirit, during which Fairy Zixia fell into the water.
At the same time, the bone spirit bit Sun Wukong's left hand again. Since you can't attack by force, then outsmart it.
The Bone Spirit bit Sun Wukong's right hand in the early morning and his left hand during the day. From then on, Sun Wukong could not solve his physical problems by himself, and could only obey the Bone Spirit.
The Bone Spirit also took out the chains and played SM with Monkey King.
Bone Essence: Flog me! Rape me!
It really is a love action movie, there is love and action.
Later, while they were fighting, Fairy Zixia fell into the water unfortunately.
What are you doing, do you want to be a navy?
However, before she had time to write a soft article, she was rescued by Monkey King.
Monkey King's move was extremely dissatisfied with the White Bone Spirit, who successively abolished King Kong's two girlfriends, and even played bundling but failed to impress Fang.
The Bone Spirit: Would you rather love humans and beasts than accept me? Let's dig our hearts out.
Monkey King: Okay, just dig it out.
So Monkey King took out the other's heart.
Between White Bone Spirit and Fairy Zixia, Monkey King finally chose Fairy Zixia.
Fairy Zixia: The person I love is a hero of the world. One day he will come to marry me wearing a golden armor and holy clothes and driving on colorful clouds.
Monkey King: I'm sorry, I have grown too fat recently and can't fly anymore.
However, the supreme treasure who became Monkey King forgot the seven emotions and six desires, and also forgot the fairy Zixia, and left alone. So Tang Seng and Zixia Fairy lived a happy life.
You see that monkey looks like a dog.
Some people say that the love scenes of the heroes and heroines are too deliberate, but I think this is the finishing touch. After all, this love story directly upgraded this island action movie into an island love action movie.
Finally, when Thor returned home, he saw his wife "Dianmu" and his son "Lei Zhenzi". (Not)
Easter egg: Later, Tang Seng and others learned that there is not only Monkey King in the world, but Godzilla.
(No) Easter Egg 2: After leaving Huaguo Mountain, they encountered prehistoric monsters and gluttonous animals on the way. In order to defend the earth, Jing Tian pilots a giant mech and prepares to fight...
---------------Short comment--------------
1. The movie tickets we owed to the monkey master finally got the chance to pay it back.
2. King Kong is simply the champion of fancy jet fighters, and there are no heavy styles in jet fighters in various postures.
3. Who said that flying by plane will affect your health? King Kong flies eight planes a day, won't he live well after that?
4. This is the story of S.H.I.E.L.D. Director, Rocky, and Captain Marvel fighting against Monkey King. It kicks off the Marvel superhero fight against Chinese superheroes. Who do you support?
After both lose, Jing Tian may become the biggest winner, so I choose to support Jing Tian.
5. As the sequel to "King Kong Gourd Baby", I have to say that "King Kong Skull Island" is still quite a big change to the original work. After all, I have read "Diamond Sutra" carefully eight times, and I have not found the plot that appeared in the movie. .
6.- There are three "King Kong" released this year: "Wolverine 3", "King Kong Skull Island" and "Transformers 5", collectively known as the "Transformers" trilogy.
-Wang Jing expressed dissatisfaction with this, he wanted to shoot "Twelve King Kong".
(Previously, it was rumored that Wang Jing was going to shoot "The Twelve Kings". Andy Lau, Zhang Jiahui, Chow Yun-fat, Louis Koo, Yam Dahua, Liu Qingyun, Sammo Hung, Tsang Zhiwei, Wu Zhenyu, Leung Ka Fai, Tony Leung, Ekin Cheng, Daniel Wu, Nicholas Tse, Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Zhang Hanyu, Lai Leonardo DiCaprio, Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman, Johnny Depp, Jamie Fox, Matthew McConaughey, Brad Pitt and other stars starred, and he later rejected the rumors Calling this is a fantasy, the specific list of actors is still in preparation. For details, you can Baidu "Twelve King Kong King Jing", the content is quite exciting.)
-You are all weak, and the British's "Iron King Kong" has been filmed in the 25th part.
("铁金刚" is the Hong Kong translation of "007")
7. "Wolverine 3", "King Kong Skull Island", "Beauty and the Beast", and "Crossau Behemoth" to be released in North America next month are collectively called the "Human and Beast" tetralogy, they are all about women The story of humans and male beasts. As a man, I strongly condemn this setting.
---------------------Long Comment-------------------
"King Kong: Skull Island" should be one of the least procrastinating popcorn movies. Whether it’s science fiction, action, or monster movies, many popcorn movies spend a lot of time explaining the background of the story, the life of the protagonist, etc., so that the audience is drowsy, but the climax does not last long and ends in a hurry. .
Take the 2005 version of "King Kong" as an example. The film lasts for 200 minutes, and the protagonist does not set foot on Skull Island until 50 minutes later. Almost the previous hour was a portrayal of characters, which seemed a bit overwhelming. Of course, it is undeniable that the 2005 version of "King Kong" is also a masterpiece of visual effects and narrative that complement each other, and it is simply a little procrastinated in the "foreplay".
However, "King Kong: Skull Island" is simple and rude, and it has entered the topic 20 minutes after the beginning of the movie, and all kinds of monsters are overwhelmed, and there is no pee. As far as entertainment is concerned, it is successful.
This also explains from the side that the director wants to tell everyone that Kim was the protagonist of this movie just now, not a human being. This was also reflected in the 2014 "Godzilla".
This can be referred to the "Hunger Games" trilogy adapted from the novel. The first one had a full hour of "foreplay". I thought that the second one would be vigorous, but as a result, there was still a full hour of "foreplay". This has more or less an impact on word of mouth.
Just like when people watch island-country love action movies, they don’t want to watch “foreplay”, they just fast forward to the “climax” part.
"King Kong: Skull Island" is also a love action story that takes place on the island. If the island country's love action movies can be as simple and crude as "King Kong: Skull Island" in the future, it will definitely save the audience a lot of time.
Compared with the 2005 version of "King Kong", "King Kong: Skull Island" has a smaller layout, which is a disadvantage as well as an advantage. It is a shortcoming because the whole story takes place on an island, so it lacks in constructing a world view; and it is an advantage because it is straightforward and straight to the subject, streamlining the "foreplay" that the audience does not want to see.
In addition, small patterns can actually be used. For this point, you can refer to "Star Trek: Diablo Unbounded" and "Apocalypse". The beginnings all happened in unknown primitive tribes, and the indigenous people in the tribe did not know their lives. In what age. Of course, since the beginning of the film has already stated that the story took place in 1973, there is no need to leave suspense in the chronology.
Recently, Legendary Pictures and Warner Pictures have been preparing for "Godzilla vs. King Kong". At present, a team of screenwriters has been formed. The person in charge of the team has also been involved in the screenwriting work of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" series.
Therefore, the establishment of the "Monster Universe" has already begun. "Godzilla" in 2014, "King Kong: Skull Island" in 2017, "Godzilla 2" in 2019, and "Godzilla vs. King Kong" in 2020 are all planned Among.
In addition to the most well-known "Marvel Universe" and "DC Universe", in fact, many film companies have long been committed to the creation of "IP".
The box office of "Resident Evil 6" and "Xtreme Agent 3" released in China in February exceeded RMB 1 billion. In addition to the advantages of the schedule, it is also sufficient to illustrate the importance of IP.
This is why many crews have invited actors from completely different originals to star in a movie. In any case, they must be exposed to the light of famous IPs. At most, one or two so-called "original crews" will be invited to come to guest appearances. For example, "Westward Journey 3", "The Secret Detective Spirit Dog", "Happy Anniversary in Flower Field 2010", "East to the West in 2011"... In fact, they can use a brand-new title. Why do they destroy the classics over and over again because they know the IP It represents traffic.
And "Godzilla vs. King Kong" is not a mess of two characters with different worldviews like "Alien vs. Predator". In fact, Japan had filmed a "King Kong vs. Godzilla" as early as 1962. .
The director of "King Kong: Skull Island" said that King Kong in the film is still very young and will grow up. The plot in the movie also implies this.
The King Kong in the 2005 version of "King Kong" is 7.6 meters tall, and the King Kong in "King Kong: Skull Island" is known as the "largest King Kong in history", but is only 30.5 meters tall. In 2014, the Godzilla in "Godzilla" was more than 100 meters tall. I am curious how old King Kong will grow to be able to fight against him in three years. Why don't we crowdfund and buy some Sanlu milk powder to sponsor it?
Maybe King Kong and Godzilla slapped and discovered that their mother was called Martha, and finally turned enemies into friends, got married and had children, and their children were called Jinkela.
Saying that the Americans filmed "Alien vs. Predator" and the Japanese filmed "Sadako vs. Kayako", when will we shoot a live-action version of "Black Cat Sheriff vs. Calabash Baby", it must be a big hit at the box office.
-----------------------Added on March 24, 2017 -------------------- ----
The first and last sentence of this film review, as well as the "short review" in the middle part, were published in the "Huaxi Metropolis Daily" on March 24. Unfortunately, the two most powerful sentences, which is the above, were deleted. The second and third sentences of the "short comment" section. I can't help feeling that the Internet is better, and I can write whatever I want.
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