I parked, queued, and spent half a pack of cigarettes inhaling exhaust and letting others inhale exhaust. I squeezed into the theater toilet with my bladder on the verge of collapse.
Toilets, queuing, and the urinal water can't keep up with the drainage of kidney function. I was shaking while thinking about the math problem of the water in the primary school pool.
Picking up tickets and queuing up, many couples looked desperately at the full seats on the screen. The conductor smiled smirkingly and split the fateful mandarin ducks into the first row No. 1 and No. 10.
After finally sitting down, a mother next to him is teaching bear children, "Don't sit around, today are all humans."
Well, from this point, I would also like to thank "Transformers". One of the problems with Chinese people watching movies is that they don’t have the spirit of contract. , Sitting in the middle of the empty seat where no one is seen, and then looking at it and praying that the owner of the seat is on fire or the car has broken down on the road. Unfortunately, in most cases, the owner of the seat just doesn't have a sense of time. Thus, a major disaster for watching movies appeared. Several silhouettes were swayed in the dark, and you walked (stepped) through the narrow aisle to find a seat number with zero design experience. Under the shadow of a large butt, you can't hear the movie's dialogue, and you can't see it. With the subtitles of the film, the only thing you can feel is the clashing of the back seats of a group of people giving way to latecomers.
"Transformers" is so popular that people are consciously safe. Whether it is the first row or the last row, it would be nice to have a position. Sadly, another catastrophe-too many people means a mess, especially in the summer blockbuster "Transformers". Parents took their children from zero to eighteen as if they were walking into the vegetable market. The little whites refreshed the bottom line of IQ by selling cute chats, and refreshing the moral bottom line through spoilers through the second and third brushes. While chewing the popcorn, the bear children simulated the deformed sound effects of the Autobots chirping to refresh the bottom line of Chinese family education.
At this time, I really hope to take out a June 4th imitation from my bag, fire a gun at the sky, and then step on the most ferocious bear kid to yell at the audience: "Shut up, fuck me!"
Of course, this is all my delusion, where did the pistol come from, and I also like children very much. I just curled up on the far right side of the six rows and watched these moving heads tenderly, and then wrote F, U, C, and K on the back of their heads stroke by stroke.
Fortunately, Michael Bay quickly proved the charm of the movie with his actions. Half an hour after the five gilded characters of "Transformers 4" were knocked out on the screen, the voice of the bear children disappeared. Sitting on my left side, the kindergarten child surrounded by a young couple collapsed on the seat with a sweet smile and huge 3D glasses. The young couple’s faces showed satisfaction and relaxation of "Finally asleep". They took out their mobile phones and lighted the screen to check the remaining time left by the movie for both of them in the world.
I remember when I watched the first "Transformers" seven years ago, the zero-point premiere. When the bumblebee stood on the ruins and used the flashlight on his chest to illuminate the layers of dark clouds high in the sky, the men in the cinema stood up and applauded and cheered, tears in my lips turned into luscious memories, saying, "Autobots, "Start" brings people back to the starting point of childhood dreams.
However, the subsequent sequel smashed this dream, and the blood of chicken blood turned into dog blood. The plot failure of "Change 3" once made me suspect that the script in the hands of the director was only five words: hit, hit it.
It was agreed not to shoot a sequel, but Michael Bay, who returned to (re)returned to (reported), made me confirm my suspicion on the script in "Change 4: From Despair", and at the same time not forget it. Make up for a dream that has been shattered.
Halfway through the film about "people are very kind, multinational companies are bad, national governments always have worms, Autobots are friends of humans, and Megatron is resurrected", I probably understood how simple it is. Why should the film in a nutshell last for two and a half hours-
for commercials.
In the global economic downturn, Hollywood began to gradually fail the cable TV network in the past two years, a "Lone Ranger" hitting hundreds of millions of dollars directly overwhelmed many companies such as Disney. The Americans quit, and only the Chinese financial owners are still sending capital. As a wage earner, Michael Bay’s mission is not to shape Optimus Prime, but to shape Optimus Prime to appear in the advertising scene-which is commonly known as " Implant".
However, because the Chinese flavor of Jian Nanchun and Pangu Daguan is too strong, the director can't let them flutter in the land of Texas cordially and naturally even if the director wants to break his head. Therefore, Transformers must go to China, Beijing and Guangzhou for a day trip, just hit Hong Kong's dilapidated tube tower, and then shout at the right time the main theme slogan "The central government must fully support Hong Kong", social and economic benefits are a win-win situation.
So, Red Bull came, C'estbon mineral water came, Shuhua Milk came again, the refrigerator opened all Yili's milk bottles, the elevator opened, and Zou Shiming.
The big screen is shining on people's heads, and the small screen is illuminating people's eyes. When the smart big-screen machine successively issued the warning of "less than 10% battery", Optimus Prime flew out of the earth, leaving behind a classic line of Big Big Wolf " I will come back".
While holding on to the wall with everyone to hobble at the exit, I roughly conceived the script for the sequel.
In order to take care of more Chinese advertisers, the sequel must be placed in Beijing, Shanghai, and Guangzhou, China. The story can be designed like this: the seeds of creation are unintentionally lost to the people (don’t ask me why, both male and female pig’s feet can disappear at will, and the props are hanging on their teeth). Online trading, Optimus Prime returned to the earth, but was the first to access Taobao database and learned the seller's secrets (wow, like the first one). The two sides fought all the way from Taobao City in Hangzhou to Wudaokou in Beijing. They encountered the heroine milk tea sister who was shopping in the street fight. Optimus Prime was injured and died. The Decepticons sabotaged the mobile 4G base station in an attempt to cut off the connection between the Autobots. During the crisis, Optimus Prime found Xiaomi Technology and thwarted the earth-shattering conspiracy through the Xiaomi Mi 3 with super strong signal... All advertisements are localized, mobile Lei Jun Ma Yunqiangdong Laugh haha.
I also figured out the title of the film. It's called "Transformers 5: Made In China", which translates to "Transformers 5: Damn, just plug it in!" 》
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