======== strong spoilers plus craps, graphic version Sina Weibo: Lord Jicheng =======
======== For those who are curious about the plot and have no chance to watch it ============
As a story, perhaps it is history I'm quite satisfied with the movie "300" that used the most naked men with big breasts in underwear.
When the first film was released in the United States, there was a lot of bad criticism. I heard that American film critics commented that this film is full of vulgar physical show off and unrestrained bloody scenes. At that time, I admired in my heart: after all, I was a film critic. Professional! You didn't want to see it, but a word from others slapped you up,
flesh? Still showing off? This is not possible, this must be investigated in depth!
There are bloody scenes, and unrestrained? It's too cruel, I don't go to hell, who goes to hell!
That’s it. With a heart that knows how bloody flesh is, I was successfully fooled into the theater and watched the 300 men's underwear model fight the Persian golden chain underwear for two hours. There must be a lot of people like me, because this film later Soon the first place in the North American box office.
After watching this movie, I feel that although the male models in underwear don’t even wear clothes on the battlefield, they are really nonsense, but this movie is not bad at all! To put it vulgarly, every male human who appears in the entire film is at least 1.8 meters tall, a heroic face plus a shiny tendon meat with uncovered new season ck metal inlaid leather pants, even the ugly traitor of the big villain. The Luoguo is very muscular and the style of underwear is unambiguous...The
kids watch the 20th episode of the Korean TV series, occasionally change clothes, take a shower, reveal a small breast, and step by step without pausing. I'll show you two hours! Still three hundred! They are all wearing briefs!
What do you think about it? ?
To put it bluntly, the aesthetics of this film is very vulgar, the pictures are very robust and magnificent, and the tones are like oil paintings, creating a new era of war drama aesthetics. Each frame of the slow-motion battle scene is Michelangelo's style of strength and sensuality, coupled with the Persian emperor's gold chain and gold panties like a human and inhuman aura, this piece really looks epic.
No matter how nonsense the Persians are demonized, no matter how disregarding the protest of the Greeks that they stripped off their war armor, only ck underwear is allowed to sponsor, no matter how uncontrolled the plasma spray, the theme of bravery, loyalty, unity, and defense of the country And the strong "brother love" thing will never go out of fashion (of course, at that time, the Greeks love to stir the foundation, let's not mention it).
Brave but outnumbered, the tragic death of heroes in a hundred battles made me cry. The male models finally died together. The picture was extremely shocking. In my heart, this is by no means a bad movie. If it ends here...
As a result, I wrong.
I didn't expect that a movie where all the protagonists died together would be able to make a sequel!
For this, I sincerely admire it.
I have to say that if this film really has any contribution to the film industry, it should be said that it has created a new possibility and new inspiration for a sequel that is even more powerful than the "prequel": parallel narrative.
When 300 strong men wore panties and red cloaks and were fighting the life and death of the Persian Emperor at Wenquanguan, another group of friends who did not know how many people were wearing underwear and blue capes in the Salamis Gulf were also fighting the life and death of the Persian Emperor. War, one on the land, one on the sea, a red cloak, a blue cloak, the same is the underwear trend that can never be abandoned.
I can really feel the maddening joy of investors after they found such a possibility to make another profit. Why didn't the director of the previous episode shoot? I think he is a person with good taste and may not be able to tolerate it. I participated in the sequel of such an idiot, so the investors summed up and found a new director. The sequel was shot like this, and it was a buy one get one free to increase the capacity. Except that the protagonist is wearing underwear, I have to say, Everything else is wrong.
The sequel actually tells the truth. After Persia defeated 300 strong men, the Greek general Themistok led another group of strong men in Athens to a powerful Persian warship on the seashore of Salamis. Hard battle at sea. But this time, investors apparently think that the “freedom” of the previous episode is not enough to humiliate the Greeks and Persians, so this time let go and go their own way to make the Greeks and Iranians vomit blood. Go ahead.
American movies have always lacked awe of history, and they can't blame them for this matter. The Koreans who took the king’s meal and put seven or eight plates of kimchi on the table might feel quite atmospheric. The Taiwanese felt that Zhen Huan Chuan’s history was too sophisticated (don’t talk about Chinese traditions in Taiwan. Who would talk about Taiwan’s chief executive with "three The idiom of "a little pig" sprays you on your face, and Ma Ying-jeou uses the allusion of "deer antler is deer ear hair"). Some things are lacking, so natural knowledge is limited. However, if you don’t understand history, you can make a good film. Yes, but investors are obviously not satisfied with this.
He wants to diverge, expand, and demand the past and present of each character. So at the beginning of the film, it tells us that Darius, the father of the Golden Chain Persian Emperor, was killed by Themistocle, who was still a soldier at the time, when he fought in Greece. Shot dead (I know you will be dizzy when you see this name, come on, remember, this is the hero of this episode, a Greek general, and the names are all Greek characters, remember).
The Great Golden Chain saw his father being shot with his own eyes. He couldn't save him, and he blasted his anger towards the group of soldiers wearing underwear in the distance. (The fighters said that panty fighting is a dick, and the Persians’ eyeliner is going to play with their eyes~) After
returning to Persia, the father said on his deathbed, "Daddy takes it, baby, don't worry about it in the future." The Emperor Golden Chain was desperate for life. At this time, a charming little wild cat dressed in black silk and painted with smoke came in. She was the heroine of the film Artemisia, the female general of Persia-she brainwashed the prince and said Where should we eat shit and fall down and continue to eat, we should continue to attack Greece and do all the underwear men! The prince felt so deeply.
So he first walked in the desert, and then walked in a cave. The subtitle did not have "Eighteen Years Later", but he suddenly transformed his body and mind and became the King of Chains and a master of hair shaver. , Also known as the god king (God King). The transformed emperor suddenly grew several meters taller, with reflective swimming trunks and a gold chain, and his voice changed from a chick voice to his own subwoofer. Since then, he has become a madman taking pictures on high-rise buildings all over the world!
If Persia had a weekly gossip magazine, I think the headline at that time should be: The
prince’s spiritual journey is really a plastic surgery royal reprimand: just changed the stylist.
The prince's height increased sharply, and the insoles were increased. The prince wore sandals to inspect and refute the rumors.
The insider revealed that the female general seduced the prince, and the two responded: just friends!
In fact, there is basically nothing to do with the emperor behind, even though his heroic posture is so domineering. The following is about Artemisia, the only protagonist of our film. Look, here again, the word "忒" is the basic Greek equipment, so what means it means that this black silk Persian little wild cat is actually Greek.
Yes, this film goes on to talk about the past and present of the little wild cat in Greece.
She was the victim of the poor local demolitions in Greece. After she was displaced, she was sold to slave boats as sex slaves by those who were forced to demolish her home. She was so boring and indecent that the wealthy nouveau riche investors could figure it out, because In history, there really was a heroine. She was a very skilled Greek townlord who had had a lot of dealings with Persia.
After being abused, the hostess developed a mentality of revenge against society, and was later adopted by the Persians. She became a war machine that kills people without blinking, and she aspires to fight back to Greece and go all over her compatriots.
So the title of this weekly magazine: The female generals' ten-year slave ship has appeared in the past, and the parties concerned show their loyalty: Persia is my adoptive mother!
Then we can talk about the male protagonist. Compared to the last male protagonist, he is really inferior to his domineering. He looks like a good old man, although his body is not bad. On the eve of the battle against Persia, he ran to the queen of Sparta to find reinforcements. At that time, the queen’s husband and 300 strong men were still alive, so the queen rejected him very aggressively. After the wrestling match, he went home in a jealous manner, and then went to the battlefield with a few boys from Athens and a few poor boats.
If it is a war movie, if the ending is a victory, the process of the war must be first to lose and then to win, but if the ending is a failure, the process must be first to win and then to lose. What kind of film do you think it is?
Under the leadership of the hero, the Athens boy and the shipwreck both won their first rounds in the first and second rounds. This part was not exciting at all, and the picture and intensity were a thousand miles worse than the previous one. At this point, the film is only halfway through. The director wants to say, what should we do now?
I think they must have adopted the opinions of a certain investor, so after two rounds, the female protagonist sent a small boat to pick up the male protagonist and said that they would have a face-to-face interview. The tabloid rumored that they should discuss and negotiate a peace secretly.
Before boarding this ship, the male protagonist had been acting as a normal combat leader, but when he boarded this ship, everything was abnormal.
The female protagonist wore a shirt with explosive breasts to greet him, and the male protagonist greeted him with great righteousness. The two fiercely "fighted" in the cabin. The female protagonist expressed that he wanted the male protagonist to submit to him and share wealth together. The male protagonist gritted his teeth and buried his head. Hard to'work', but nothing is said in a daze. Just as the male protagonist’s "children" was about to be "captured" by the female protagonist, the female protagonist grabbed him by the neck and shouted, "Isn't you surrender to my old mother?!" Go and hide merit and fame deeply.
The female protagonist was speechless to the male lead gangster, and left the table angrily. What makes me wonder is that why not kill the male lead now? This is probably called love.
Persian Eight Weekly: The general suspected that he had taken the enemy leader to open the house, and the warship guard revealed that she had a debauchery in her private life. The general responded: I didn't intend to wear the clothes I took off!
The University of Athens: Rejecting the Persian'negotiation clauses', the anti-black box operation requires reviewing one by one, the Academy of Athens has set off a campaign to surround the Parthenon, and the "Big Chrysanthemum" student movement has officially started!
This little Greek wild cat was played by Eva, the heroine of Casino Royale. She exposed her entire upper body generously in this film, which made me amazed. I think she is the only highlight of this film. Her temperament is rare. Her face always has a glamorous and provocative beauty. It reminds me of Xiao Bailong’s fiancée in the old version of Journey to the West. The princess of the dragon king of the head worm. The expression of "fuck me if you dare" on the heroine's face is really incapable of not drawing a'gun', but it's a pity that the hero...
In short, the female protagonist is humiliated by the male protagonist's "did not recognize people" and is determined to fight to the death with the male protagonist. The heroine has read Sun Tzu's Art of War and the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, and has studied the burning of Chibi. When the two armies fought again, the hero suddenly found that all the warships of the heroine were sprayed with black paint and greasy things, and then this thing burned. Then, the male protagonist was surrounded by a sea of fire-yes, the female protagonist mastered the oil extraction technology in 480 BC, during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, and she did not hesitate to transport it to Greece just to pour it into the sea and burn it. A burn of the male lead’s leather underwear.
Although at first glance I think this is nonsense, but unfortunately, this is actually the most historically based passage in the whole film. The Persians would dig oil wells in the fifth century BC, and the heroine's tactics really showed the true qualities of the local tyrants.
The director may have taken too much internal energy to come up with this oil stalk, so he can't figure out how the male lead can get out of the sea of fire-so the picture changed, the male lead woke up, and a guy told him: You have been rescued.
Then came the final battle. The three broken ships of the hero suddenly acted like gods, and they drove straight into the dense fleet of ships that reached the heroine.
The female protagonist wore Alexander Mcqueen's new haute couture metal barbed jersey in the spring and summer of 480 BC. The female protagonist used a pair of knives to compete with the male protagonist one to one. When she died in the hands of the male protagonist, she was still wearing black fishnet stockings. After the heroine died, Persia also seemed to have gone. The hero looked into the distance and saw that the widow of the King of Red Cape finally brought reinforcement ships to reinforce. With the help of the Red Cape ships...
help, help, let's go!
help! Down!
Down!
——Yes, there is no cassette. When I want to sigh "Great, the gossip news is finally over, the feature film has finally begun, and the real war is about to begin next", this episode is over! The adverb "With the help of reinforcements" is the finale of this film. I didn't expect it, they still have a third episode!
Seeing this, let's scold again with everyone in the cinema who saw this and started scolding mothers, black feed the dog!
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