The cabinet on the left belongs to my mother, and the videotape inside has a handsome guy with a moustache and a long-haired beauty who has more shiny hair than Yi. The cabinet on the right belongs to my dad, and the videotape inside contains a group of big muscular rough men with one arm around. A gun with a rougher shape than Yi.
At that time, the boys in the same class were secretly drawing gold saints in class, and the girls would imitate the not-so-concave shape and seriously say "on behalf of the moon to punish you". My IQ at the time determined that more during the holidays I chose to look through the bedside table on the right.
When I entered the DVD era, that is, when I could understand the plot (not just the "story"), I basically just stared at the bedside table on the left. There were a group of handsome guys without beards and beauties with long hair, and there were still those rough men in the bedside table on the right, but with rougher guns in their arms.
At that time, the whole of China was suffering from the American aesthetic impact of "great stool is beautiful." A few potbellied uncles and uncles came to play at home, and they were enthusiastic to watch those American rough men carrying American-made rough guns on the land that may not necessarily belong to the United States, all of them screamed with excitement. It's about topics like "men have to be big, women have to have big breasts", and I often give me chocolate bars that are half a person tall, which I said were bought at an American airport.
Since then, I have determined that the IQ of male species is relatively low, and American men are among the more dumb creatures with low IQ.
Psychologically, it is said that men project their male power on those rough men, and project their little brothers on the rough guns of the rough men. The basic thinking pattern is: as long as one's own block is big (== more money) , The gun is big and the sound is loud (==a powerful function), and finally you can soak beautiful women with big breasts and big butts.
Therefore, the guns he shoots are often changed, and his big breasts are also often changed, but the rough men don't change often. The X blood-Terminator X-Die hard X, these three series are enough to run through the rough man from my dad to my (future) husband into history.
And the most important thing in the history of this movie is the three hallowed rough men who are the psychological projections of countless little boys/big men around the world. The three hallowed old butts can actually gather together to open each other’s little brothers. A joke-this is basically the same as Superman, Batman and Spiderman going clubbing (of course it’s gay) and discussing each other’s offensive attributes (personally prefers Batman to attack Spiderman to suffer). The moment that should exist-the director has a face.
My dad’s projected object is this super-faced Uncle Stallone. This is probably the first foreigner face I recognize and remember through pictures.
This uncle was half-naked with a gun in the woods when I was playing with amniotic fluid in my mother's womb, so the first time I saw this rough man appeared on the screen was "Bomb Disposal Expert" from the VCD era. The heroine is Sharon Stone with a big chest and a big frame.
The two of them had a hand-to-hand scene in the film that made me very curious. There was always about a week in the summer vacation that year. At that time, I hadn't even heard of the term "third-level film" at that time. Play back and forth quickly and slowly, and be amazed every time you play.
Uncle Shi smashed so many movies with a big gun. What I remember most so far is still holding the hand of the strong-looking heroine in the bathroom (I still don’t understand this trick), shake The few minutes when he was still very tight and tight at the time.
There was no dialogue, no plot, and a few minutes of being unable to see the face clearly, which made me realize for the first time the existence of film language such as color tone, editing, the length of the lens, and the viewing angle. It also made me have a very delicate feeling for Uncle Shi, who has big eyes and long eyelashes, which is actually very cute like a puppy, but always shoots at others with a sad expression.
Uncle Shi's ass is the irreplaceable existence in my memory, the firework in my youth.
The era that belonged to Uncle Shi is gone forever like his solid and full butt. I don't know if Uncle Shi realized this, so he led a group of old butts out to make a collective curtain call with the most luxurious B-level film in history.
The overall atmosphere of this movie is basically the same as in the "Garrison Expendables" (so you know how old I am when I see this term)-no matter the setting of the bad guys, the background of the tasks, the composition of the personnel, only weapons have changed. If you are advanced, the voice of Tutu is louder, and the people who go to Tutu and those who are caught by Tutu are a bit older.
But Uncle Shi has my respect for making this film.
Because I am an uncle, and nostalgic, I am a person who has unforgettable old feelings and likes a persistent uncle. Uncle Shi, Uncle Statham, Uncle Li, as well as the uncle of the governor who "wants to be president", Uncle Willis, are all old enough old ass (unfortunately without Shangge Yundun, otherwise it is simply too complete), and these The old butts still follow the principles of the 1970s in the new era, and they are persistent enough.
Old butt principle 1: When
fighting alone, no matter how much time is wasted or effort is needed to shake the camera a little bit to conceal the fact that they are not as flexible as they used to be, but as long as they can use hand-to-hand combat, they are determined not to use cold weapons. Those who use cold weapons resolutely don't use guns. Of course, when it comes to using a gun, those who can use a big gun definitely don’t need a small gun.
Old ass principle 2:
When you can play in hand-to-hand combat, you must play (so we have seen various fixed methods of fighting skills in this film) , When using a cold weapon, you must play a very nice pose with a very awkward look (cutting the head and hands with one knife is definitely a job of drying skills), and when shooting, you must make a very professional dent Modeling (see Uncle Shi on this point), and absolutely must not show the shock of being bounced by the recoil.
Old butt principle three:
real men don’t hit women—you can push, but slap fists and other things are absolutely inferior behavior. To kill a thousand people, as long as you save a woman, he is a true man, and to save a thousand people, as long as you hit a woman, it's a bullshit—no matter how much this woman begs for.
Old butt principle four:
save the beauty is not to soak the beauty, after saving the beauty, hug it, put a couple of sentences "Take care of yourself" and pat your butt and leave. That's really cool.
In the same way, after being dumped by a crush, you still have to give your opponent a head start. After putting down the girl who hits the girl easily, put the sentence "You should have been waiting for me because I'm worth it." By the way, Stantham was too handsome when he said this in a British accent.)
Old butt principle 5:
Tutu does not need complicated reasons at all, and a girly eyebrow that is not very beautiful is enough.
National justice, the state apparatus, and political conspiracies are bullshit. The blood of the people killed by Laozi flowed into rivers, and the corpses of the dead under the sword piled up into mountains. As long as Lao Tzu can't let go, what if Lao Tzu wants to save people? What if the opponent is an army? What if one island is suddenly abrupt?
Old Ass Principle 6: A
friend is someone who is willing to die together without asking a word at a critical time. The brothers kicked each other with two kicks, inserted two knives, and took two shots. They are all in pediatrics. There is nothing wrong with having a drink together.
Old butt principle seven: the
car must be driven by heavy machines, tattoos must be painted with skulls, clothes must be leather jackets, smoking must be pipes, music must be rock and roll, and you must not blink when fighting.
Old butt principle eight: a
hero does not mention the courage of the past, and he will not be arrogant if he speaks too seriously. It is okay to make a joke full of vicissitudes of life. For example, you like to jump in the woods. That person wants to be president. Don’t think I’m small but I will win in the end. How do the heavyweights fight?) Wait.
In our current era, people who kill are all wearing suits and have to show their licenses. Your partner or rival big boss is likely to be a beautiful girl. The little boy puts Liu Qian’s poster in the room as a projection object, like this group of old men. Rough men with ass ass, only those who are nostalgic like us can appreciate their benefits.
When I walked out of the cinema, I felt a little tinnitus. There will be no such old ass on the screen in the future, how quiet and lonely this world will be....
Therefore, just this article, and these five stars, represent a small group of people who have looked up and grew up obsessed with these butts, and pay tribute to all the old butts.
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