Finally finished watching the show today. I watched it off and on for three months, and when I saw Sebastian's fall in the middle, I once gave up the drama and didn't dare to watch it. This film is like a dull rusty knife that has not been used for a long time. It is not a quick knife to cut through the mess, but the pain of a slow torture.
The following are some understandings and insights. The original work has a beginning. Ugh.
I was also initially concerned about the relationship between Se and Charles. The most popular long review is very in-depth, saying that C has been watching all this indifferently as a bystander, and is indifferent to S's pain, and pointed out that this is affected by the family environment his father gave him, I agree with the latter, C Has always been a relatively quiet and restrained rational character. But I have a different opinion on the former.
I think C gave almost all of his tenderness to S. It's not that he doesn't want to save S. He and S stand on the same front against S's brainwashed mother, but as an atheist, he can't fully understand the source of S's pain and despair, and he is sad when he sees S's pain , but he can't fully understand S so he can't save S. He did everything he could, he gave S support, but all he could do was to help S escape and secretly give him money to buy wine. Other than that, there was nothing he could do. C is not indifferent.
In other words, C was not an indifferent person at first. In the first half of his time with S, C was the gentlest one compared to this family. S hurts C indiscriminately when he is in pain, and C just looks at him, speechless. But the expression was clearly hurt. My best friend hurts me.
Then he said that C's departure was not heartless, but that he and S both understood that it would not benefit each other if they stayed. The root of S's pain is the conflict between his homosexual identity and the Catholic teachings he accepted since he was a child. He deviated from the classics and wanted to escape from his mother and escape from religion, but religion has long since become a part of his character integrated into his blood and blood. He cannot escape, and he feels that he is guilty. Atonement in the way of constantly torturing himself, or that he wants to completely go against those sacred things. S's pain stems from S's contradictions. And his relationship with C will only make him more and more painful, the more rebellious, the more ashamed, the more depraved, and the vicious circle.
It breaks my heart to see S, who was shining brightly in the past, in such a state of abyss.
As for C, C seems to be very calm, but since then, C's heart has died. th. Let's talk about this later, S actually changed C.
Go back to the time period when C left S. C has always been polite to S's family, and finally broke up with S, only to have an impolite farewell with S's mother. You must know that according to the standard of gentleman behavior at that time, C's reaction was indeed rude. This is the first time that C shows a sharp side in the play, for S.
In the early stage, C is actually a soft person, soft, unable to express, and powerless. Indulge S, endure S, help S. But there is no doubt that he loved Sebastian, and when he finally left S's house, he said, I feel like a part of me will stay here forever.
I almost got beaten to death when I saw this. Later, C found the down-and-out S, the German Ge You paralyzed and asked the seriously ill S to bring him wine, C immediately got up and went for S, but S refused. At this time, C should have given up completely and completely. His tenderness, his tolerance, his pure love and friendship will always be left to the young and high-spirited Sebastian.
What kind of person has C become in the next ten years? Or what kind of person does S turn C into?
A really cold, restrained, and what could be called aloof and mean person. He is indifferent to his wife's suffering and irresponsible for his children.
Julia said to him, you are sharper, harder, nothing like the pretty boy Sebastian brought home back then.
This sentence hits the nail on the head! ! ! S's influence on C is too great. As he said, he left a certain part of his body here forever, so he has been dominated by a strong sense of loneliness since then, and he doesn't care about his wife, children, family, fame and fortune. Painting is to fill the emptiness of the soul and to settle the soul.
Until he met Julia again, his loneliness finally had a sustenance.
He loves Julia entirely because of Sebastian.
During the kiss, Julia said to C that you are not asking for love.
C kissed her and said I was.
Julia is always on point. C is looking for comfort. He saw in Julia his "part of what was left". His memories, his first love, his powerlessness, all found comfort and sustenance in Julia. Late C is a man with a dead heart, and he didn't come back to life until he met Julia.
——
One o'clock, time to continue.
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