In recent years, the topic of "Should highly educated women be housewives" has been controversial. Some people oppose it, thinking that Qucai has even risen to the level of "wasting educational resources"; some people agree that women are educated so that they can make their own choices.
The film "The Winner from Ohio" tells the story of such a housewife, Evelyn Lane, a former New York City columnist, who fell in love with her husband and married, and chose to stay at home with her husband and children. And she didn't live the life of a pampered rich wife. On the contrary, her husband worked in a factory and had ten children at home. The alcoholic husband's monthly salary was not enough for him to drink.
This story sounds a bit sad at first, and those who hold opposing opinions seem to have more right to speak, "Look, this is the story of a silly girl who was carried away by love, capable women should have their own careers. , that is a successful life!"
Is this really the case? One's own life is not successful, fortunately not happy, in fact, "just like a person drinking water, he knows whether he is cold or warm". After watching this film, perhaps we will have another view of the life of a housewife, and perhaps another definition of success.
1. Successful life = ability * enthusiasm * way of thinking
When people question the choice of "highly educated women becoming housewives", they feel that their lives will revolve around husbands and children, and they will not be able to realize their personal values, and they will not be able to talk about a successful life.
What does a truly successful life look like? Kazuo Inamori, known as the legendary Japanese "Saint of Management" by the business community, gave the answer in his book "Spirit of Fighting". The two companies he personally founded are among the world's top 500 companies. At the age of 78, JAL, which was on the verge of bankruptcy, turned losses into profits within a year, but his career achievements stem from his philosophy of life.
The interpretation of success in "Inamori Philosophy" is: successful life = ability * enthusiasm * way of thinking". The score of ability and enthusiasm is from 0 to 100, and the way of thinking is from -100 to 100, it can be seen that a person's values , Once the attitude towards life and the way of thinking are negative, no matter how capable you are, you will eventually fail.
2. "ability" can save a family from falling apart
Let's go back to the movie, Evelyn's husband was a tenor singer, suave, but because of a car accident, his throat hurt, he can no longer sing, and he can only live in the noisy environment of the factory. This made him depressed and unhappy all day long, drinking alcohol to relieve his worries, and he was confused. Finally one day, he got into a big disaster and mortgaged the house without telling his family, because he wanted to feel the superiority of having some spare money in his pocket. The momentary pleasure makes their family face the dilemma of sleeping on the street.
Just when everyone was at a loss, a phone call came to tell Evelyn that she had won the first prize of an advertising contest, and the money was enough to pay off their debts. At that moment, the phone call seemed to be an angel sent by God to save them. All cried with joy.
It's certainly not a pie in the sky, in fact, Evelyn has been in these kinds of competitions all the time. It was America in the 1950s, and there were often prize-winning advertising design competitions for the masses on television.
She was a columnist before she got married, and competitions like this brought her back to the pen, helping her family win beautiful bikes, washing machines, refrigerators, dryers, and more, and once a sports car, for her efforts. The family's house was also bought by Evelyn with her winnings in a bicycle advertising contest, where she was selected from 65,000 entrants.
A housewife does not have to go to work seriously, but she can still bring out her talents through her own efforts. In the current Internet age, there are more opportunities than before, it depends on whether you are willing or not and whether you can seize it. Women with higher education don't have to worry about computer operation, just think carefully about what they like, what they are good at, and what they are good at, and they can transform their talents into abilities.
3, "Passion" can make people sparkle
Evelyn loves writing and loves putting her joys on paper. She described writing as working in a garden. She has a place that truly belongs to her. No matter what others think or say, she will always be proud of her one-third of an acre of land.
No matter how her husband goes crazy and loses his temper after drinking, she always chooses to tolerate him, except once. Lane complained that she was sweating profusely in the stinking factory, and she didn't have to worry about anything at home, except to write those tattered notes all day. The last four words touched Evelyn, and she finally retorted.
She can tolerate her husband's vexatiousness, but she can't touch the bottom line, which is her passion for writing, because it is the only green grass she can escape from real life, only there, she can breathe freely and be herself. She often imitates TV commercials, imitating their humorous tones and pronunciation, speaking her own commercials, and laughing with the children.
Once Evelyn won another big prize, and also received a letter from a housewife with the same hobby, and invited her to her home. Evelyn arrives as scheduled, and is greeted by a group of neatly dressed, enthusiastic housewives, all of whom are keen on TV advertising competitions and who have long heard of Evelyn's name.
One of them was a woman with polio, living in a "big box," an artificial respirator, and she completed all the entries by lying down. Although her body could not move, there was no pain or self-pity on her face, on the contrary, it was a happy smiling face.
A group of like-minded women got together to talk about the spelling and tone of the ad, and there was so much to say, laughter filled the room. The sun shines in, and these housewives who got together because of common hobbies are shining brightly at the moment.
Once you discover your hobby, no matter how much you master it at the beginning, just take the first step and keep cultivating it. It's far more practical to just let it go than to research its feasibility first. For "like" this thing, rely on intuition.
It's like some people like reading and writing in their hearts, but they are afraid of not being able to write well, and they are afraid of running out of time. In short, various external factors prevent them from moving forward. Others, despite facing the same pressures of work and life, bravely took the first step, signed up for classes, followed a group of book friends, encouraged each other, and immersed themselves in this busy and fulfilling life.
If the love at the beginning is like a flame, then the "deeper and deeper" after that is like a passionate flame, the more it burns, the more it burns, this is probably what Mr. Inamori said about the "fighting soul".
4. How do you think that determines the quality of life?
It is said that women who love to laugh will not have bad luck. In fact, this reflects a positive and optimistic attitude towards life. Evelyn loves to laugh very much, no matter how the family dances, she still laughs at life. She tells the children, "Don't look at what you lack, look at what you have."
She has a big family of 10 children, and others may have a headache just thinking about it, but she said with a smile that every time she submits a manuscript, she can use the children's names to vote separately, and it can also improve the selection rate. Every time a child won an award or achieved a small achievement, she was extremely proud. The benefits of having more children are simply innumerable.
Unfinished housework every day, trying every means to deal with the landlord's rent reminders every month, these tiresome chores are all precious to Evelyn, because she has learned the life experience soaked in firewood, rice, oil and salt.
In the eyes of the children, their mother is always full of joy, which is what she was born with, something that no one and nothing can take away.
And their father always loses his temper for no reason, but his mother always tolerates him unconditionally. At one point, Evelyn took part in a "shopping cart spree" at the supermarket and won back a cart full of food, which was also a winning new refrigerator. Ryan was frustrated because of his self-esteem, and drinking, he began to have a seizure and threw all the food out. Evelyn quietly picked up the food and continued to introduce the children to caviar they had never eaten before. After that, he delivered a small shrimp cocktail to the aggrieved Ryan, coaxing his husband like a child.
This kind of scene is often staged in their house. Every time Ryan loses his temper and gets into trouble, he will cry regretfully, and then bring a cup of tea to his wife, and Evelyn will forgive him every time.
The daughter couldn't understand why her mother had to stay with such a bad father all the time. She could go to the big city, write articles for the newspaper, and live a colorful life. Evelyn told the child that Dad's car accident made him suffer the injustice of God, but she didn't, so she chose to do everything possible to tolerate him.
Evelyn seems to have hundreds of thousands of reasons to complain about life's injustices, but she chooses to enjoy all the good things she has. "It's useless to live with anger, it just wastes your time and energy, it's better to focus on your life," she said. With such an optimistic and positive attitude towards life, she has personally influenced the children. When they grow up, some of them go to college, some play football, some become nurses, some become lawyers, and some become writers. Live the life you want.
Many partners do not easily enter the marriage hall because of their love for each other, but they bury the original love and warmth in the daily trivial matters, and even hate each other and regret it. The real happiness is never the moment of you and me, but after the precipitation of the years and the tempering of life, we still guard each other.
Life is like playing cards. When we get a bad deck of cards, we will never just drop our hands and stop playing, otherwise no one will want to ask you out in the future. What to do then? We always think carefully, look at the cards on the board, study the opponent's playing ideas, etc. The same is true in life. Instead of complaining about the sky and worrying about others, it is better to deal with it actively and focus on your "cards". Maybe you will be the ultimate winner after careful management.
5. Write at the end
Whether a person's life is successful or not is a personal feeling. No matter how chaotic life is, if you can take the initiative in your own life, it should be counted as success. Evelyn has a talent for writing and has helped her family out of crisis several times; she has something to do with her passion and enjoys it; she has a laughing attitude towards life and focuses on being herself.
In Kazuo Inamori's life equation, she can score high in all three points, especially the way of thinking. Her optimistic attitude in difficult times is especially valuable. So, Evelyn, a housewife with ten children, lived out what we aspired to be.
Xian Xinghai said, "A successful flower is cultivated by the environment of many rains, snows, mud and strong storms".
If you are still struggling with your environment, or your identity, then this film "The Winner from Ohio" will definitely give you inspiration and the power to start again.
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