I can't marry anyone, it's a waste

"Okay, then keep working! I, Li Yingjun, can marry you!"

In order to retain employees, the bosses have promotions and salary increases, but they have never seen Li Yingjun want to marry like this.

Since Jin Xiaoxiao proposed his resignation to Vice Chairman Li Yingjun, there has always been a question in his heart, which is the name of the play: "Why is Secretary Jin like that" .

Secretary Jin's family was heavily in debt, and Boss Li paid her a high salary to repay the debt.

Secretary Jin squeezed the bus and was late for work, and Boss Li immediately bought a car for her to drive.

Now Secretary Jin wants to get married, and Boss Li is willing to sacrifice his life to marry her and go home.

...

Boss Li is sure that Secretary Jin can't get this kind of treatment anywhere.

After chasing the woman who married Boss Li, he ran down the street. He proposed marriage a second ago, and a girl came to kill him right after.

Secretary Jin hurriedly explained that Boss Li would not fall in love with anyone.

He doesn't like me, he's not gay, he's just too perfect, no one can get into his eyes, he himself once said:

I can't belong to anyone else, it's just a waste of money.

The first person in modern narcissism.

Narcissism Terminator.

Patients with narcissistic personality disorder , no doubt.

Boss Li likes to look in the mirror.

Not even the reflection in the wine glass.

This reminds me of a beautiful young man named Narcissus in Greek mythology, who is also so obsessed with his appearance.

He is the son of the river god Cephissos and the water goddess Liriope, with sharp eyes, curly hair, red lips, and a white neck.

One day, he saw a beautiful face in the mirror-clear lake water, he kissed the lake, fell in love with himself in the reflection, and did not accept the love of any girl.

But if he left the lake, he wouldn't be able to see this handsome face.

So he leaned over by the lake all day long, looking at himself in the lake without eating or drinking, and finally died of haggard, beautifying himself.

A few days later, a bright yellow daffodil bloomed where he died and was seen as his avatar.

Narcissus This behavior is called Narcissistic Personality Disorder, also known as Narcissus Syndrome, or Daffodil Syndrome.

In English the word narcissism is also derived from the name of Narcissus: Narcissus.

In the American Diagnostic Criteria for Mental Disorders, narcissistic personality disorder is:

A common pattern of arrogance (fantasy or behavior) that demands praise from others and lacks empathy.

American psychologist Albert Ellis has been studying sex, love, marriage and family relations for many years. In 1898, he proposed the special state of autosexuality, which is what we call narcissism.

Six years later, in his essay On Narcissism, Freud first systematically discussed narcissism and incorporated it into the field of psychoanalysis.

Freud believed that narcissism originated from libido (generally referring to the pleasure of all bodily organs) and was a kind of primary narcissism.

As a person grows, he will channel this loving energy towards others.

But if you encounter setbacks, over time, this energy will be reflected back to yourself, forming narcissism.

However, psychologists represented by Klein don’t think so. They emphasize that narcissism is not an instinctual satisfaction, but is influenced by external influences such as parents and relatives in childhood.

For example, your mother always said that you are not as good as other people's children. If you fail to get 100 points in the test, you are a useless person.

These extreme concerns stemming from the object, in the Klein school's view, lead to narcissism in the individual.

Although the Freud and Klein factions are divided on whether narcissism stems from their own problems or other people's problems .

But it is undeniable that people like Li Yingjun, with narcissistic personality disorder, exist.

And people suffering from this disease are mostly single because they love themselves too much.

Most likely, you are too.

In fact, narcissism itself is not a bad thing, and proper narcissism is also a manifestation of self-confidence.

Just beyond the scope, too extreme, it becomes a disease.

At present, there is no absolute standard for the judgment of narcissistic personality disorder, but a reference is given in the "American Diagnostic Criteria for Mental Illness":

1. Reactions to criticism are anger, shame, or shame (though not necessarily immediately). 2. Like to instruct others, to others for their own service. 3. Excessively arrogant, exaggerating about their talents, hoping to be paid special attention. 4. Believing that his concerns are unique to the world and cannot be understood by some special person. 5. Delusions of infinite success, power, honor, beauty, or ideal love. 6. Believing that you deserve privileges that others do not. 7. Desires for lasting attention and admiration. 8. Lack of empathy. 9. There is strong jealousy. 10. Difficulty in intimate relationships (marital relationships, parent-child relationships, etc.) .

The above ten questions, as long as five of them appear, can be diagnosed as narcissistic personality.

In [Fantasy] , Vader climbs onto his stepfather's bed, walks naked to the mirror, and shows off her body in front of her mother.

Under the influence of her mother, Vader considers herself noble and unique. She once dug out the work clothes that her mother hid in the attic, and let the female workers put them on and serve her as a servant.

In life, she pretends to be a lady in the upper class, constantly longing for recognition from the outside.

However, Vader's musical talent and talent are mixed with these characteristics, and it is not clear that she already has narcissistic personality disorder.

In contrast, Li Yingjun is "decathlon", and his narcissistic personality is not hidden.

He doesn't let women touch him and thinks he is the perfect man like no other in the world.

When I get up early to get dressed, I feel that I am shining brightly, and I have to ask Secretary Jin if this is the case.

"XX, how dare you..." is his usual sentence pattern, his forehead is a famous brand, and people are extremely noble.

He instructed Secretary Jin, regardless of her feelings, a phone call was available 24 hours a day, and private time did not exist.

As for interpersonal relationships, it can be summed up in one sentence: Without Secretary Kim, Li Yingjun is mostly useless.

Even so, chasing after the young lady who wanted to marry him said, "This is Brother Handsome's trump card for killing women in seconds!"

In fact, there is more than a narcissistic Li Yingjun in the world?

Bo Jinyan of "He's Here, Please Close Your Eyes" once said to Jian Yao:

I have to thank fate for letting us meet. Otherwise, you will marry these mediocre men today. oh! I can't stand the thought of this.

Bateman in [American Psycho], a Wall Street prodigy who graduated from Harvard University, makes face masks and ice packs every day...

When you are with two prostitutes, it is clearly not making love, but admiring yourself in the mirror.

The narcissistic personality frequently appears in the male characters of the domineering president Fan Er, but the female characters are rare.

And looking at historical figures, Napoleon , who once dreamed of conquering all of Europe, said:

There is no word "no" in my dictionary.

Relatives and friends have persuaded Napoleon not to be too self-centered.

He didn't listen and acted entirely on his own will. The desire for power led him to attempt to conquer all of Europe and ultimately defeat Russia.

Also, Hitler .

In the photos about him, he always wears neatly divided hair, and although he is short-sighted, none of them wears glasses.

Because he forbids others to photograph him wearing glasses, in addition to the desire for power, he also wants a perfect image, immersed in it.

Throughout the ages, there have been more narcissistic men than women.

According to the "American Diagnostic Criteria for Mental Illness" survey, 50%-75% of individuals with narcissistic personality disorder in a community sample (US) are male .

At the same time, in the journal "Psychology", a research team once studied the data records of 475,000 people for 31 years and found that men are more likely to be narcissistic than women.

Research has shown that men themselves have a subjective sense of power that they are not aware of yet.

And this subjective sense of power is precisely the main reason for the gender difference in narcissism.

Men who think they deserve more privilege, desire power, and become leaders are most likely to develop narcissistic personalities.

Putting these characteristics together is the domineering president of film and television dramas, the real emperor of the empire.

Therefore, when a man is narcissistic, it really has nothing to do with a woman .

It is understandable why Secretary Kim is like that.

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Author/Two years younger

The article was first published on the WeChat public account "Bao Ci Er"