Low emotional intelligence is sometimes a good thing

I recently watched the Korean drama "Why is Secretary Kim like that", and there was a passage that touched me in particular.

After the vice president and Secretary Kim fell in love, they went on a date together after get off work, but they still couldn't get rid of the relationship between superiors and subordinates. The two went shopping together, and Secretary Jin subconsciously fell behind the vice-chairman by one position; the two ate together, and the vice-chairman's glass ran out of red wine, so Secretary Jin subconsciously poured him wine.

Obviously they are going to dinner as a couple, but the chef of the restaurant "mistakes" them as the boss and secretary.

On the one hand, it is the relationship between superiors and subordinates in the workplace, and on the other hand, it is the relationship of equality between lovers.

A single relationship is easy to deal with; but when two relationships are intertwined, it becomes a huge problem.

1

I have always considered myself to be a person with low emotional intelligence. I speak without regard to the occasion or the feelings of others. Later, I offended many people and learned to be silent.

But gradually, I discovered that there are actually very few people with really high emotional intelligence, and most of them are self-proclaimed high emotional intelligence.

The reason for this discovery is that many people around me cannot handle the complicated interpersonal relationships between the vice president and Secretary Kim.

2

Sometimes low emotional intelligence is a good thing.

When I realize that I have low emotional intelligence, I try to avoid complicating relationships.

The former leader once wanted to introduce a newspaper colleague to me for a relationship, but I refused. I don't like to engage in office romances, once a fight will affect the work, if it is not suitable to break up, it will be more embarrassing to meet in the newspaper.

But some people are different.

Some people think that they have high emotional intelligence and can handle complex interpersonal relationships, but when things happen, they are still devastated.

I read a report in the newspaper a while ago that a couple failed to start a business. Afterwards, the wife recalled the relationship between husband and wife at the time of starting a business——

The conversation between the two of us was nothing but work. Husbands and wives know each other best and know each other's weaknesses and shortcomings. When arguing, I don't consider any communication skills and the other person's feelings. I try to gain my own sense of security by hurting him again and again. And a sense of achievement, but never succeeded.

Public and private are clearly defined, easier said than done.

Even Alibaba's Sun Tongyu and Peng Lei can't do it.

Sun Tongyu and Peng Lei are husband and wife and two of the Eighteen Arhats of Alibaba. Sun Tongyu is the first CEO of Taobao, and Peng Lei has been a personnel leader in Alibaba for 10 years. In terms of ability, it can be said that she is an outstanding person.

Later, for the sake of long-term development, Ma Yun wanted to separate Taobao from Taobao Mall (later renamed "Tmall"), but Sun Tongyu disagreed. Ma Yun then secretly held a board of directors and fired him.

Sun Tongyu became popular all of a sudden, especially as Peng Lei, as his wife, got the news from the board of directors but didn't tell herself.

In the end, Sun Tongyu and Peng Lei divorced.

They are both entrepreneurial partners and lifelong partners. This couple looks beautiful, but when problems occur, they cannot be handled well.

3

I read a short story before. Two people went out on a sunny day, one with an umbrella and the other without. Later, it rained heavily, and the rain stopped at night. When the two of them got home, the one with the umbrella was wet, but the one without the umbrella was fine.

Why?

Because those who don't have umbrellas know how to take shelter from the rain, those with umbrellas rely on umbrellas to avoid the rain, so they get wet.

This little story doesn't tell the truth, it just reflects a state of mind.

When people have strengths in a certain area, they tend to be particularly confident and even fearless.

If a person is usually very good at getting along with others and considers himself to be high in emotional intelligence, he will not deliberately avoid complicating interpersonal relationships. It wasn't until something really happened that I realized I couldn't handle it.

And someone with a low EQ like me would deliberately avoid it.

Of course, knowing the short can avoid the short.

To know how to avoid weaknesses and not deliberately complicate interpersonal relationships, the premise is to have self-knowledge, know that your emotional intelligence is low, and know your shortcomings.

4

At the end of the episode, the vice-chairman and Secretary Kim still did not balance the relationship between public and private. But this is a Korean drama after all. Compared with the bad things that will happen in reality, the screenwriter put more pen and ink on the sweetness of the two.

I hope those couples who both work and live together have a happy ending.

PS This article was first published on the public account "Zhou Muyun Korean Drama Notes"