Isn't the complete separation of internal relations in the family also a kind of sadness?

3.5/5

"Domestic Violence" is a core direction of the film. The director's presentation of this key issue is layered and sharp. The sense of hierarchy is reflected in the plot arrangement and the gradual exposure of the hidden domestic violence tendencies in the father (Antoine). , the sharpness is based on the foreshadowing and accumulation of the whole film, which converges in the last scene, and explosively presents the physical and psychological damage caused by the 'domestic violence' to the mother and son of the victims (Miriam and Julian), without any Doubt this is the advantage of the film in my opinion, and it is also the reason why I think it can touch many people and make more people have a new understanding of 'domestic violence'.

But what I want to say below is about the flaws of the film - the film does not have guiding significance for families that may have 'domestic violence' in reality, or that the film does sharply dissect the problem of 'domestic violence' The opening is presented to the audience, but there is no way out on the issue outside the camera, because in my opinion, some domestic violence victims in reality need not only external attention and empathy, but also internal guidance and self-help

( Note : The following discussion about the content of the film and 'domestic violence' is based on the premise that 'Father Antoine's tendency to domestic violence is the root of the family's destruction and the serious physical and psychological trauma of the mother and child')

The film kicked off from the court that ruled on guardianship. The audience entered the family from an external perspective, so Julian's parents disagreed about who was lying and pretending to be a good person. In fact, the film did not start at the beginning. Just explain, until 25 minutes when father Antoine ignored his son and asked him 'Want to go to the party, can I switch custody time with my mother', the film began to slowly hint at the father's problems

But if we put aside the external point of view used in the narrative of this film, and re-enter the film as a viewer of the film and re-enter it from the perspective of a mother or a son, I can actually see from the family's attitude towards father Antoine and the mother and son's dealing with and The way in which father Antoine's relationship is taken clearly foresees the end of the film - that is, the way the family treats Antoine and takes action on the premise that they understand the problem of 'violence' in Antoine. The way of communication did not ease the relationship between them and it can even be said to intensify the problem of 'violence' in the father's heart

Some people may think that 'the violent tendency is the problem of the father himself, why should other members of the family find ways to alleviate it', because in the context of the film and in reality, there are many family contexts with 'domestic violence'. It's not a black-and-white issue - as in the film, Miriam and Antoine already have children and are adjudicated jointly when they realize that their father's violent tendencies are so severe that it hurts the family to divorce. Enjoying guardianship, in this context, it is no longer possible to simply ignore or get rid of the risk of domestic violence, because from the perspective of law and blood, Antoine brought Julian together. Guardianship and fatherhood, it's not like Miriam and Antoine's relationship can usually be severed through divorce and severance

With this context, when we look back at the mother and son's attitude towards Antoine and the title and the son's behavior of lying, indifference, and rejection because of fear and disgust, there are many moments in the film that make me feel unwise. Even the 'dangerous' - the moments when Antoine might act violently against Julian, although the stacking of these moments triggers the final thrill of the director's 'domestic violence' from being concealed to erupting A complete presentation, but what disappointed me was that with the closing of the door that was pierced by bullets at the end, a fluke and a sense of pain pervaded the camera, and I couldn't see the possible way out for similar victims.

Neutral attitude and reasonable communication

If the attitudes and actions taken by my son Julian strike me as unwise and 'dangerous', then I think neutrality and reasonable communication may offer a way out of such a fractured father-son relationship that needs to be broken free , If Julian, who is only 12 years old, has no way to subjectively relieve the fear brought by his father and maintain his sense of reason in such a shadow and environment, then this psychological construction is actually that the mother Miriam should help her son. In other words, this father-son relationship does not blindly acquiesce to the role played by the marginalized father in the family and his indifference and exclusion, because as mentioned above, the relationship between husband and wife and the intimacy between adults can be It is simply cut off through such an attitude and method, but in the situation and relationship that Julian is facing, he cannot, so I think the mother in the film is actually a 'family with children but facing domestic violence problems' to refer to when solving the problem negative example.

The neutral attitude is to say that the mother can actually make Julian stay hostile and indifferent to Antoine at all times, and some trivial matters can actually be used to communicate, and appropriately emotionally ease the confrontation situation; reasonable communication It means that without telling Antoine their new home address and other premise, there is no need to resort to a series of lies or silent cold treatment to stimulate the negative emotions of father Antoine because of his desire for control (which may Difficult for a 12 year old Julian, but the role of mother should be tried and considered

Isn't the complete separation of internal relations in the family also a kind of sadness?

A sentence from the judge in the courtroom at the beginning of the film

'Although the children seem to be on your side' Although the children seem to be on your side, this is actually a misfortune.

One word expresses the pain of the family's essence. Although the root of all problems points to Antoine's violent tendencies and impermanent character problems, it is undeniable that neither Miriam nor Julian has taken active measures. This kind of positive behavior does not refer to accepting and tolerating the father’s series of problems, but refers to self-help in another sense. Easing the joint custody relationship and the relationship between father and son does not mean rebuilding a complete and healthy relationship. It means to avoid the extreme separation of this family relationship as much as possible, and it means to avoid giving too much shadow to the underage Julian as much as possible

Even if it is said that Antoine's emotional outbursts and behaviors are inevitable, like many people who are prone to serious domestic violence, the mother and son should actually reduce the degree of this loss of control as much as possible, and then resort to the law or other external help, because in my opinion, to prevent such a complete separation as much as possible is actually to seek a way out and a way to save oneself from within