Rose, I am holding you in my arms at the moment, and the thousands of words I don't know how to say are turned into warm currents and moisten my heart. I dragged a lame leg in a green military uniform and went back to San Francisco. I walked back to the streets and overpasses where I laughed with you, as if I was colliding with this new world of fancy clothes and rock music. When a stranger asked "how many children have I killed?", I ignored it indifferently. They didn't know that I was a pawn to be used. If I died on the battlefield, I would be lucky to add one to the official death toll on TV news. My heart is almost numb, and I revisit the old place just to see you again. If you are married and change the way you look at me, I still want to say to you, I will always remember the innocent look of your plucked strings, thank you for letting me grow from a boy to a man overnight.
During the four years that I first arrived in Okinawa and then went to Vietnam, I wrote you many letters, but you did not receive any of them, because they were only carefully kept in my heart, together with the beauty you gave me on the eve of your trip to Okinawa. That small note with your mailing address written on it was torn to shreds by me on the way to Okinawa and scattered in the wind. Since it is destined to not be able to escape from the world full of lies that you are extremely unfamiliar and disgusted with, it is better to cut it out as soon as possible. Stop fantasy. What's more, I don't know what the future will be like. I think if we passed the book in different places for four years, and I was killed by a bullet without eyes when we were about to meet, your sadness would only make me feel distressed. Your expression changed from joy to sadness when you waited for my letter, misunderstanding that I only regarded you as a playmate for one night, really not my hope.
Looking back on the night when my bleak life was wonderfully lit by you to the brightest, even if I really feel your heartbeat and your breath at this moment, I still doubt whether it is true. Back then, at 18, I was nothing more than a slobbery navy venting off my excess hormones with foul-mouthed words, and I was just messing around with my life. The ridiculous reason to be in the navy, you already know, was when enlisting in the Air Force at 16 and being told by the recruiter "Looks like a killing machine that doesn't desire enough, overtrains, doesn't eat enough, doesn't have enough money, and is born in the U.S. Navy. representative". And two years after enlisting in the Navy, what did I do? It's just a cycle of fighting, playing arcade games, and drooling over the hot-looking, flamboyant beauties on Playboy. The most boring of them all is the "dogfight" game in which you were tricked into being happy by me, and then angrily denounced women who were seriously insulting. In fact, we were fooled by sweet words into the "superior level" of the girl's appearance and posture at the party because we didn't know. We rated the "first, second and third runner-up" in the laughter, and gave a certain amount of money to the soldiers who brought the "top three". Rewards, but because the days are too boring, and they don't want to admit the fear of death.
But if I remember this self-deception with you in my twilight years, I will still thank it from the bottom of my heart for making me meet you who is different. I apologise to you long after that night, I've said that game I've enjoyed six times with my mates and I'm rushing to the party with "ugly" (please forgive me for using the word) eager to show off to my mates right away On the way to regret, but only you. I was so excited to meet you on the road, who decided to spend a wonderful night with me that cannot be mistaken. When I tried to find reasons to stop you from moving forward twice, I also wanted to tell the truth, but the U.S. Navy only seemed to be brave. In the past four years, every time I wrote you a letter in my heart, I would think about what attracted me that night, so that after you slapped me twice in front of my companions and lost all face, I risked being disgraced by your family. The danger of dogs tearing apart, want to invite you to dinner and apologize to you in person? Is it the first time I saw you with a guitar in your arms and a smile on your face, already inexplicably moved? To increase your affection for me by babbling about nonsense ballads that you don't understand, you actually believe it makes my heart tremble? Using lipstick to intentionally make you ugly, you don't blame me, you look embarrassed and let me see the innocence that I lost somewhere? If love can really be explained, probably many people, including your mother, see us as mice crossing the street to avoid it, and you think that the navy, like the folk singer, is an enviable dream catcher who can be free To compose the beauty of life.
I am naive and silly girl, you are the person I envy! And you can fall in love with me and wait for me for four years, how touched I am. My self-confidence has always been smashed with a stab, otherwise I wouldn’t try to maintain it with swear words and rude actions. My one-liners that night and my actions to bring you to experience the wonderful music world constructed by arcade games may bring you a lot of happiness. But never dared to imagine how long they would stay in your heart. And every time you laugh out loud, you make me discover my own nature one step further. Just like that dinner full of twists and turns, you used your own unique way to make me understand that it is not for the sake of showing how generous and tolerant you are in front of outsiders that you have to be merciful and forgiving. This will make our hearts become more and more peaceful and strong. .
Speaking of that dinner, every time I think about it for four years, it adds to my dull war life. When we were turned away by the "dog-eyed" restaurant waiter for not wearing a suit, I thought of taking revenge on him in a funeral dress, but you thought it was fun to pretend to be my wife and help me recover from an old couple A set of clothes was tricked there, and the waiter had no choice but to let us in. I secretly prided myself on trying to prank him further, but you ordered food with swear words, completely ignoring the surprised expressions of the other waiter and me. At that moment, I suddenly realized that swear words can be blurted out, but they will only deepen the level of indifference between people. It was at that moment that I fell in love with you, and then we debated whether force or music could change the world more, and you almost turned against me for insulting your favorite Joan Baez's "We Shall Overcome" At that time, my worries and fears were so great that I was surprised.
Now I understand that violence can only lead to more violence, but I still doubt that music can touch our souls and help us disarm us and create new worlds. It seemed that the people on the street who seemed out of place with me were listening to rock just as an excuse to escape. What I'm sure of is that you pick up the guitar and play the ballads will give me the warmth I've been craving for these four years, and I'd love to sit at "The Still Life Cafe" and hear you play "The Still Life Cafe" We Shall Overcome. If you can't get your wish to sing there, and your interest has turned from folk to rock or simply gave up music, can you play the strings for me alone in your cafe? Love you Eddie.
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