I see three separate but interrelated themes.
[The loneliness
that goes hand in hand in life] In this life, people yearn to be understood to varying degrees. We long for some people in this world who can understand our inner world, but we hit a wall everywhere. Because most of the people around us are like fish living in a bathtub, living on a stage for others to watch.
I was 28 years old, and for a long time before this, I was in a deep entanglement, entangled in whether I wanted to live the way others wanted, or what I wanted. Do I want to cater to the public, get married and have children, have a successful career, or focus on my heart and pursue a life that I feel comfortable with. Now that I think about it, this is undoubtedly asking myself whether I want to live for others or for myself. The answer is so obvious. But at that time, I was too cowardly and too inferior. When I had such a question in my heart, I immediately put on the shackles of morality, social values, and all kinds of shackles. I was afraid of being judged and scrutinized. And the feeling of exclusion and loneliness it brings. But when I catered to the public, I lived the life that everyone expected, worked hard, got married, and pursued material things, but my heart was not at peace, and the feeling of loneliness was like a shadow. Because there is such a voice in my heart, timidly, I have been speaking in a low voice. It says, I don't love inexhaustible material. It says that the value of the masses is so superficial that it is difficult to pursue. It says what Socrates said, people live not just to live, but to live well, why bother living a life.
After that, the world suddenly opened up. I finally understand that I just need a little more courage, not to please anyone or anything, and to focus on pleasing myself. Every day, every decision, try to satisfy yourself as much as possible. Reject uncomfortable social interactions, stay away from people you don't like, and be brave in expressing what you want. When I started all this, of course, I couldn't avoid worry, confusion, and even disdain from the people around me. They thought I was doing something new, and they thought I was too pretentious. But the more I persevere, the more I want to persevere, the more I persevere, the more brave I become, and the more I persevere, the more I smile and calm down in the face of these negative comments. Facing ourselves is not lonely, it can be very fulfilling, it is the sense of alienation from the outside world that makes us more lonely.
[same frequency]
So we very much hope that our relatives, lovers and friends can understand us. But the fact is that there are very few people who understand you. Most people just pretend to understand you and tell their own stories. Slowly, you start to get used to being with yourself. Whenever you satisfy yourself, you get happiness. Whenever you give up explaining, save yourself the hassle, and escape the greater sense of alienation that comes with starting to explain out of a desire to understand, you fall in love with loneliness, in solitude.
If you are lucky, maybe in the crowd, you will meet a few people who are similar to you. You will find that there is little contact, but there is a tacit understanding, and you are secretly happy. But have to be a little wary, because no one's going to be a perfect fit. So I always think that the story of the girl, the female concierge and the Japanese man in the film is a small probability event. But that's what makes it so precious.
[Elegance is a state of mind] Elegance that was
previously understood is more arty. For example, if you don't know tea, go to buy tea. Later, I understood that elegance is a state of mind that is disturbing the world, how you are willing to choose.
For example, if you don’t have enough money, you don’t have to wait in line to grab discounted brand names, but go to department stores to buy your favorite, comfortable clothes, as long as you can afford them, even if you don’t have any discounts. For example, travel time is limited, give up some itinerary, sit on the street and drink something leisurely. For example, if you are too busy at work, half-an-hour work meal, clean the tables and chairs, and eat the beautiful bento. Just because you don't want to live a life of embarrassment or anxiety, you must maintain this kind of life and a comfortable state of mind, even if no one sees it. The female concierge in the world's definition should be illiterate and vulgar. But the people in the play have their own "small clean place", drinking tea, eating dark chocolate, and reading books. No one knows, and no one needs to know. Just there, she felt comfortable and felt spiritually rich.
It's like standing on a noisy street on a hot day, and the people around you are sweating and restless. You put on a good pair of sunglasses, move forward without any rush, and feel calm and secure in your heart.
People think you are covered in thorns, and you just want to stay true to your heart.
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