Paloma planned to kill herself when she was 12, but she didn't.
The concierge, Honey, takes care of her own life and ends up dying unexpectedly early one morning.
The goldfish that Paloma flushed down the toilet, thought to be dead, was rescued by Honey.
The door Honey always closed, and Paloma knew what was hidden behind it.
People live like goldfish in a fish tank, spending their time banging against the same glass. Paloma wants to be a star-chasing person, not a little goldfish in a fish tank with nowhere to go. One night she fed the goldfish a sleeping pill and flushed it down the toilet. At that time, she felt that it was so easy to end her own life. No nostalgia, no reluctance, no tears.
Paloma saw the goldfish washed away by herself in the house of the dead Honey. She took the goldfish home and laughed for the first time when she saw the goldfish in the fish tank. She understood at that time that what matters is not death, but what you are doing at the moment of death. There is no solution to the joy of being alive, and we are all stuck in a similar predicament. Honey has her own study as a hiding place, and Paloma is hiding behind the camera to observe the world in front of her. When you don't want to struggle, there is still a place to hide. It is also a little gentleness that this big world gives those who are out of place.
"Ms Michelle reminds me of a hedgehog, with spikes all over her body like a real fortress. But I think she's as delicate on the inside as these lazy little guys on the surface. Sexually likes solitude and it's unusual elegance."
Paloma presumably knew she didn't look like the uncultured grumpy old woman she had on the surface after she stumbled across Concierge Honey reading Junichiro Tanizaki's "Praise for the Shadow". In the eyes of this odd little girl who wanted to die, Honey had found a good hiding place.
My heart is like a huddled kitten that can get through a rainy morning, a lazy afternoon, a windy night, or a silent, silent dawn without concern. Until two books, a letter, two dinners, an old movie, two changes to your slippers, and a handmade card appeared in the crack of the door.
"Honey, we can be friends and do whatever we want."
"Honey, we can be friends and do whatever we want."
Honey is going to wake up the little cat in her heart to temporarily clean up her loneliness and the sense of security brought by loneliness. No longer the short, ugly, fat janitor who thought he wouldn't be taken seriously if he died. She read Anna Karenina all night, and before she could change her new dress, she folded a new shawl and took to the streets, ready to love at the moment of death.
Then, everything came to an abrupt end.
I believe in far-flung tacit understanding, mutual understanding, and soul mates who hit it off or have a long-lasting relationship. I believe that these things exist in the world. I won't look for it, I will wait. When it comes, you may refuse to angrily blame yourself for not being perfect, cry and feel stupid. But wipe away the tears, write a letter in a serious manner, and decide to accept the invitation from another life. Not 100% similar, not 100% perfect, every time I try to communicate and understand, God is between you and me. So whether it is a person who is chasing the stars, or going to the futile world in the fish tank, because I believe that love waits for a certain moment, the cold and boring life will become warmer and worth looking forward to. Those occasional joys and reliefs will also want to have more than 7 seconds of memory. Forgetting is easy, remembering is the hardest thing.
One evening this summer, when walking to Nanluoguxiang for the third time, Mandy said, "It's so lonely to live." I thought about it and said, "Actually, being alone is a good thing. Loneliness, so when we meet the moment of mutual understanding, it becomes extra precious and surprising. In the end, loneliness exists for this moment.”
The phrase in Liao Yimei's book many years ago is probably more appropriate here: "Everyone is lonely. In our life, it is not uncommon to encounter love and sex. What is rare is to encounter understanding. ."
After encountering and understanding, even a hedgehog with countless hurting spikes on its back will reveal its soft belly in an instant.
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