A few days ago, I was chatting with Qingmiao about the oldest movie I had ever seen, and I blurted out that it was Vivien Leigh and Robert Taylor's "Blue Bridge" in 1940. She reminded me that it might be the earlier "Gold Rush", and said Point out that I really have a soft spot for "Blue Bridge".
I can't help but ask myself, what exactly does the Blue Bridge of Soul Break mean to me?
One weekend in the second year of junior high school, when my mother recommended it to me, she said that this was the first movie she watched when she was young, and it was also a very meaningful movie for her.
To be honest, for me at that time, black and white movies really didn’t appreciate. The plot is also ordinary in my opinion, but it is a story of two people who love each other, but they cannot be together in the end, and they are even separated by yin and yang. At that time, the biggest concern was Mara, played by Vivien Leigh. How could she be so smart? Ai, isn't the episode of this movie "Friendship Lasts" from "Little Times"?
So when I saw my mother with tears in her eyes, I was stunned.
In high school, she was once again convinced by Hao Sijia, played by Vivien Leigh in "Gone with the Wind", so she opened "Blue Bridge of Soul Broken" again, and then it got out of hand.
When the melody of "Auld Lang Syne" came to mind, I was immersed in this sad story and couldn't extricate myself, and I began to think about the reasons for this love tragedy. Think about what the war has brought, think about the meaning of chastity to women, think about the various reasons for the concept of family, and think about whether love at first sight really exists.
To be honest, to this day, I still don’t have an accurate answer to these questions, but from that moment on I really realized that the way I look at things has changed. I am aware of my ignorance and insignificance, and I feel that trying to understand something is a very difficult process, but the moment when I ask myself questions and then think for myself is so wonderful.
Excitedly, I ran to tell my mother how I felt, and while I was relieved, she told her story...
"Soul Broken Blue Bridge" is the first and only movie that my mother and her first love ever saw. The fate of my mother is almost the same as that of Mara, the protagonist of the movie, but my mother is luckier because she met her father.
Because of my grandfather's sudden illness, my mother, as the eldest daughter, gave up her once proud athlete status at the age of 17 and came to Nanjing to work hard. And his first love was forced by his parents to join the army in Shanghai a few days before she left. He didn't expect the sudden change in his mother's house, and he thought that he would marry his mother directly after returning from the army. Mom said that in those days, communication was underdeveloped, and once lost contact, it was really difficult to get in touch again. When she set foot on the train to Nanjing, many things were already doomed. If it wasn't for her father's appearance, the 17-year-old mother was ignorant of the world and was targeted by human traffickers. The ending could only be to fall into the red dust. Her mother was fierce, and she would have resolutely crashed into the car in the fog like Mara...
My dad and mom got together and gave birth to me and my two sisters.
Many years later, my mother's first love also had a family of her own.
Just a few years ago, when the Internet developed, my mother and her first love reconnected.
I was speechless for a moment, and there was an unspeakable sorrow in my heart. I wanted to ask my mother if you still love him, but I didn't ask, I was afraid to hear the answer. Because from childhood to adulthood, the parents in my eyes are full of love and affection. But I can't explain the "Blue Bridge of Soul Broken" every month in iQIYI's broadcast record, and I can't explain the deep eyes in my mother's eyes every time I watch this movie.
Until one time when the whole family was traveling by car, they talked about their parents when they were young. Dad joked: "Your mother loves not me, but Comrade Xiao Chen!" I was shocked, they might quarrel, I saw the mother in the co-pilot stretched out her left hand and held her father's right hand tightly, and said with a smile, "Oh? Do you always think so?" Dad didn't say anything, just smiled at his mother. Mom put her left hand gently on their clasped hands again. The older sister and I in the back seat winked and made a "Huh~" disgusting sound together.
To this day, I have not asked my mother that question. Sometimes I think, maybe Mom doesn't even know who she loves, or maybe she loves both.
But the only certainty is that fate told his mother that Uncle Chen was the stranger he was most familiar with, and his father was his whole life.
Maybe everyone will meet two people in this life, one in the palm and one in the distance. The one in the palm of your hand, you take care of and support with your heart, and the one in the distance, you can't take care of it, only wish him well.
I think my feelings for "Blue Bridge of Soul Broken" are undoubtedly complicated.
Whenever I open this video, I wonder what kind of mood my mother was in to see it? What was she thinking when she saw it?
If the time is reversed, will my mother choose to set foot on the train to Nanjing?
I thought of myself again, didn't I want to let go for a long time because I was afraid of regret?
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