I see people asking "is there such a thing as ever".
I thought about my surroundings, yes, but this is like a "contest" against opponents, not breaking the rules, and even stepping back a little.
Two years ago, I met Q in Chiang Mai, and we chatted for 10 hours in a row, chatting from far and wide, writers, literature, philosophy, education, society... Sometimes silent.
Once some people appear, you can identify them from the vast crowd within ten sentences and lead them to be your best friend.
I asked him to read a poem for me, "Long Song Xing".
I "sacrifice" with the most beautiful side - clear eyes and a beautiful face.
Unexpectedly, those conversations have become the light that illuminates me to this day. Later, whenever I was extremely disappointed, I would always think of his understanding from the depths of my soul, his respect, understanding and tolerance for "pure power".
In the future, there will be a lot of messy things, but because there is someone watching, my persistence will not look ridiculous, and my posture will not be very difficult. For me, it is like guarding a secret, guarding my heart. That "willful", literary, critical, righteous little girl.
When dawn came, he flew to Bangkok, and I flew to Hong Kong. Back at home, I am in the south and he is in the north.
The overwhelming sadness almost overwhelmed me, and the end of this hostage was to be unable to speak for almost the whole day and to throw myself into silence. Since arriving in Hong Kong, he has developed a high fever.
Full of disappointment comes from why such suitable people cannot be together. He's a soulmate, he must be. At that time I still wanted to possess.
One night after returning home, I smoked more than half a pack of cigarettes by myself.
A year has passed, entering a new line, meeting new people, and managing new things.
He came in intermittent greetings.
Time and the world really melt the heart. We each walked to the fork, but when each other was confused, the other party always appeared inexplicably.
I told him that there is less and less light in the world. I saw many people around me, buried in "life" and precarious. Even myself.
There is nothing more powerful than waiting, he said.
So, wait for the wind to come.
Last year he said, I'll see you.
It was my "Black June", left alone in a strange city with nothing after a huge blow.
Funny to say. He hugged me, and I cried and asked him, "Are we really going to find love?"
He said, "Yes, it will, you will, and I will too."
I thought to myself, how can my relationship with this person be so clear.
I was going to go to another place, but I ended up with inexplicable allergies and high fever. I'm sorry to say, I didn't expect you to come to see me and actually want to accompany me to see a doctor.
He said, "Let me take care of you."
I refused without thinking and bought him a ticket to go back.
"I can handle it myself."
The deeper the friendship, the more I tell myself not to go beyond the norm. I don't want anyone to see my embarrassment, including him.
Before leaving, I looked at him and said with a smile, "I really like you."
He laughs.
"But that's how I like you, nothing else."
The appearance of this person makes me believe that in this world, there must be a kind of love that transcends "possession".
But the so-called "transcendence" implies restraint, silence, consideration, and retreat.
One thing I realized later was that, whether it is a person or a relationship with others, if there is "simple" and "simple" in it (not the kind that is mindless), it is mostly the result of hard work.
In the exchange of cups, there is gentle giving and fulfillment.
Rolling red dust, the hustle and bustle will be fascinated by the eyes, and the heart will be covered with ashes after a long time. The clear relationship between people brings social convenience. As long as one party still has something to ask for, the cup of tea will change its taste.
I told him, "To a certain extent, I met you at the best time. Even if I will be better in the future, but if I push it forward 20 years, it will only make me feel flourishing and beautiful at that time."
He said, "You will be the best time now and in the future, and I will also be your memory. I like the feeling of being unsullied."
I said, "Yes, the shiny kind."
He said, "Don't shine, please let me turn into a puff of smoke."
After a while, I would always think over and over again what he said, "Please let me turn into a puff of smoke."
After listening to it, I was very, very moved.
There are too many expectations, and in the end it is often a rout, either here is not comprehensive, or each other is not beautiful.
It's also good to leave, don't disturb.
Since then, I have waited quietly for some people to leave my life at all times.
But, when making friends, be affectionate.
Just like in the film, Helen has never seen Frank once, but between the lines, it is frank, considerate, gentle, and her eagerness to help her neighbors.
Behind her tantrums, she was smoking a cigarette in her room and sighing from the book; she had her thoughts on the streets of London and her love for English literature; she looked out the window and saw young people falling in love. The warm expression at the time; the black and white photos of her on the cabinet, that may be her lover; the concern about people's livelihood; the cry when she heard the news of Frank's death...
This is complete. It is also warm and hearty.
Life is lonely, happy to have you :)
View more about 84 Charing Cross Road reviews
