Desperately forcing myself to recall my youth little by little. When I was young, frivolous and rebellious, the life I lived was like an exaggerated novel compared to my current life. I did what good students and bad students should do. Puppy love, inciting everyone to rebel against the teacher, studying hard, playing basketball, liking literature and art, writing a lot of essays and weekly diaries, staying up late, playing online games, failing the postgraduate entrance examination in the end, going north to find a job, etc., I really have no regrets throughout the long youth.
But I actually found that "Those Years," did not let me fall into the mood of recalling the past at all. In the past, I was always moved by the words of the past, passing away, youth, and the deep desire to talk about it. Today, "Old" to me is just what happened, that's all.
Adolescence is like a long and slow movie with large sections of blank space, while youth is like a fast-moving black and white silent film, like a crappy modern era. Nowadays, "Reminiscence of the Past" seems to me like the fast-forward of the slow-moving movie "Zhu", and it jumps to the end with a bang. My once sensitive heart has been numb and no longer felt at all. Much is just the numbness and snobbery that life has polished.
After reading "Those Years," I am more of an exclamation mark, question mark, and a helpless ellipsis standing at the crossroads of my current life. At Shen Jiayi's wedding, among all my expectations and curiosity, Shen Jiayi's groom came out before Shen Jiayi. This almost middle-aged man with signs of baldness suddenly burst into this beautiful shot. I was so surprised that I couldn't believe my eyes, and then I was instantly disappointed, and then I wanted to suppress nausea. Before I had time to digest my series of reactions, the bride Shen Jiayi appeared immediately—I couldn't accept the sudden maturity of the girl who used to have a fresh ponytail. Standing next to the man in the white suit, Shen Jiayi with her hair up is plump, mature and beautiful. To my amazement, they were a perfect match. . .
I went back and rewatched the groom several times, and it took me a long time to chew on my true emotions. Maybe this is life. Pea-sized trouble, always smothering my dreams under 12 layers of velvet, making me toss and turn and sleep poorly. Life is always tepid, not heart-piercing love and hate, just boiled frogs in warm water, numb yourself a little, and numb a little more, until one day you don't know what you're sleeping on.
The movie deals with a lot of life stories with a subtle look. When Shen Jiayi was walking the red carpet, she and Ke Jingteng looked at each other for 4 seconds. What I have is not moved or heartbroken, but disbelief in my own eyes and doubts in Shen Jiayi. Is Shen Jiayi really looking at Ke Jingteng? It's my misunderstanding of the director! After seeing the director's commentary and affirming the eye contact, I felt doubts about Shen Jiayi in real life, as well as doubts about life's youth, love and marriage: Shen Jiayi, don't forget to watch Ke Jingteng when you walk the red carpet! Do you really like Ke Jingteng? Why do you like Ke Jingteng and marry someone else? ! ! ! !
However, I am not Shen Jiayi after all, and I don't know if Shen Jiayi had a difficult choice before getting married. Maybe the maturity of the girl is always unexpected to us. Even if we want to be with the boy we like, the silly boy who also likes himself, but he can't understand what the girl wants. When Shen Jiayi walked the red carpet, even if she didn't want to see the one who held hands, she still compromised for something. I have been thinking about why this is, what made Shen Jiayi make such a choice, and what made Shen Jiayi feel that a bald middle-aged man can give her a happier future? ? ?
When I was holding back for this article, I suddenly felt as if I understood why Shen Jiayi and many girls who "come here" made the same choice. Maybe there are many higher truths in life that I really haven't realized yet. Imperfection, regret, incompleteness, numbness, peas, these may really be life itself, the true face of life.
Life is really a test question that has no right or wrong or even meaning. No why, no ending, no answer. It's really hard for people to really understand how to live.
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