It is indulgence to lose, and even if you narrow your eyes and look at the world in a blur, you will always be able to distinguish right from wrong, and there will always be a moment of sobriety. Losing a mess, losing nothing, losing madly, this is the devil. Loneliness hollows out the heart, constantly drilling, drilling, drilling! One day, the heart becomes a bottomless pit. Therefore, it is no longer clear whether it is the empty heart or the stomach. What we can do is to constantly swallow and annihilate everything to fill the dark emptiness and fear. Demon, is madness, is devouring.
I love the name of that movie, she's lonelier than fireworks. Just listening to it makes my heart a little tangled. She toured the world alone, listening to languages she couldn't understand. She said, I don't want to choose the cello, I have no choice, I hate the cello. The female translator said, I understand your helplessness. But who really understands the loneliness of this talented cellist speaking fuck in five languages? She lost the cello, lost her lover, and finally became a devil. She tortured herself and the people closest to her unreasonably. She wept willfully like a child, and she lost her temper at her sister and said that none of you hurt me. In the end, she succeeded. She unreasonably occupied her brother-in-law, played the role of her sister, and found satisfaction in other people's lives. Such a hateful woman, but no matter what, people can't hate her, she is a victim of loneliness. In her last unstoppable trembling years, no one could blame this poor, wayward genius again. The elder sister recited the childhood nursery rhyme and sent her back to the beginning. No cello, only tight hugs. Sister, stop your childhood self and say, it's totally fine, don't worry.
That's something I can't understand.
The younger sister is very similar to Dieyi in Farewell My Concubine. Not crazy, not live. In her own play, Dieyi is lonely waiting for the overlord. If she can't wait, there is only a madman. He tortured himself, smoked big cigarettes, and dressed himself up as a noble concubine, just waiting for his overlord. He is stubborn and has a lifetime with Xiaolou, and he can't miss a minute and a day for a lifetime. However, what he was waiting for was endless loneliness. He was the only one drunk in the play. He swung his sword to kill himself, cutting off the loneliness of this life. Xiaolou shouted "Dieyi", and at that moment, the time was in a trance, and Xiaolou changed his mouth and muttered to himself: Xiaodouzi. Everything went back to the beginning.
Well, back to topic.
The Buddha said that the sea of suffering is endless, and turning back is the shore.
The whole sea water poured into my heart, but also could not fill the lonely void. I don't want the sea of the whole world, no. What I'm waiting for is just a scoop of water, and just a scoop can save me.
In fact, torturing myself like that, destroying others like that, I just want you to see it, I just want to tell you, please give me a spoonful of tenderness and let me get rid of the loneliness of this life.
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