She started narrating her story in such an unusually calm tone. This composure was like the confession of a murderer. It reminded me of Humbert Humbert's opening remarks in Lolita. Then she wrote: "I felt very still and very empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surround-ing hullabaloo." Esther, a female student majoring in English, was invited to a certain Intern in a women's magazine. Seeing how excited the people around her were, she only felt terrible silence, as if she was in the eyes of a tornado, numb and unconscious. She has a tendency to masochistic, and her strong feelings are rolling deep in her heart. She must find an outlet to release them, otherwise she will not find a sense of existence. She is very conceited and arrogant. Under the strong appearance is an extremely sensitive and fragile soul. Some people say that she is too extreme and she collapsed just because of a failed marriage, and she cannot understand. Or, it is not smart to seek relief by suicide just because it is exhausted for a while. For such a woman, what does she need most? I personally think that what she needs most is not only love and creation, but a strong sense of presence. Love and creation are just to enhance this sense of existence. At the end of her autobiographical novel The Bell Jar is filled with sentences like: "I am. I am. I am." As a person without faith, all she has is extraordinary talent and too strong feelings. . She is like a phoenix, she must experience destruction to be reborn in blood. For her, destruction is instinct, and only through suicide again and again can she gain true inner peace. In the end, she succeeded. The heroine in the final chapter of The Bell Jar said: "A bad dream. To the person in the bell jar, blank and stopped as a dead body, the world itself is the bad dream. A bad dream. ... Maybe forgetfulness,
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