Where would you start to tell a story that is hard to look back?
The documentary film director Jennifer Fox chose to act as a filmmaker to put on the screen her real experience of being sexually assaulted when she was 13 years old.
We often say that real events are often more shocking than movie stories. The creator of "Letterhead Stories" is the client himself, so the strong sense of reality begins with the warning statement at the beginning and is overwhelmed in a suffocating situation. The viewer can't relax their nerves for a moment, because this movie has been heavy since it was born.
Unlike other films that show sexual assault, "Letterhead Story" does not have a flat and straightforward restoration of events. Instead, it chooses to use a large number of montages to connect two space-times that span more than 30 years and are far apart. Instead, it chooses to be directed by a documentary. She is calm and objective, from the perspective of an elderly mature woman, to interview and investigate people and events in the past days. Finally, complete the analysis of one's own psychological process.
In the matter of (restore the story), Jenny is both the person involved and the observer who has come away.
As a child who loves to create, Jenny is willing to believe and record the things that "look beautiful": beautiful and elegant adult women, strong bodies of the opposite sex, sex, secrets and vows.
Novelties are regarded as treasures by little girls who are eager to grow up, and numb obedience is to "prove that they are mature enough."
At the age of 13, I have just awakened my self-awareness, but I don't have the adult mind to see the good and bad things. Above this, this kind of worship and imitating psychology is normal and very common. As Jenny wrote in her own letter, it is a unique lucky thing to think that she can witness other people’s love (even if the love is immoral); any form of "valuation" is regarded as a great honor and easily The temptation of so-called loyalty and love is complacent for participating in the adult world.
She wants to write stories, express emotions, express, and listen. Immediately afterwards, there are pre-adolescent mood preparations such as rebellion against parents, observation and doubts of peers, and troubles with certain bad behaviors. This feeling is very private, but this feeling is extremely common. Even, it happened to each of us.
But in any case, 13 years old, too young, you can't even use the words "Qingdouchukai" to describe her. Children at this age, even if they have the above-listed, delicate psychological and physical changes, are simply not enough to understand the affection and love between men and women.
In other words, she may have begun to look forward to beautiful love, but she has not yet been full of wings to appreciate the beauty of love.
The scary thing is that Jenny was dragged into the abyss by the dirty lie wrapped in "love" just by looking at the edge of maturity.
More terrifying than horror is that Jenny, who was 13 years old at the time and now almost 50 years old, didn't even think and didn't want to admit that she was a victim.
Thirty years have passed, and she has never been able to face her own feelings. She is always looking for excuses for the deception she has suffered. And all of this is derived from the instigation of the sexual assailant's "diligence"——
"Jenny, you are really unique, you are very mature."
"I think you are perfect, can you show me you?"
"Growth means change, and change is almost painful. Therefore, pain is happiness."
Correspondingly, facing the physical pain, 13-year-old Jenny told herself over and over again: "I love him, and he loves me."
48-year-old Jenny suddenly shouted to her boyfriend: "That's not sexual assault, it's a romantic relationship."
Memory can be biased. As the film progressed, the scenes of Jenny vomiting continued to appear. Self-forced love and forced sex by others, even if they are psychologically ambiguous, their physical reflections are objectively existing.
Unexpectedly, Jenny became a documentary director. She has a wealth of experience, the ability to analyze others, and a strong sense of social responsibility. When the past 30 years of past events drifted back to her in the form of memoir material, she began a dialogue with her past self and a psychological confrontation with her past self.
The way the film presents this dialogue is like a dream re-enactment. This dream is intertwined with the memories and status quo of Jenny and those around her, and it is full of the fantasy and reality of her youth. The facts in "Letterhead Stories" and the fictitious memories in the retrospectives created a huge contrast between the adult Jenny who had been returning for a long time span, causing her to collapse several times during the investigation process, and even extending her current (emotional) life. problem. These include what her mother reminded that Jenny doesn't value emotions, having relationships with married people, and so on.
These problems are of course left over from that time.
Thirty years have passed, and the two perpetrators have been declining, and the victim has a stable and normal life. However, neither shadow nor damage will be reduced by half.
Looking back, the film was unfolded by the mother's questioning after she found the letterhead, which was a thorny point for Jenny. Children can’t see right from wrong, and don’t adults who are guardians also know it?
The reason why 13-year-old Jenny was taken advantage of her trust and curiosity, was brainwashed by the nonsense of the "luxury packaging", and she was willing to believe in deception again and again—even to endure physical discomfort and pain. She was born in her family. "Contribute to the boost".
In the film several times, Jenny's mother discovered that she had too much contact with adult men and had mysterious contact with her. Jenny's grandmother even witnessed her intimate behavior, but did not inquire and care deeply. Instead, it is parental authority that does not care about affection, and it is a special family rule that leaves no room for it. These undoubtedly pushed Jenny, who was full of thoughts and nowhere to tell, further and further, to the abyss.
As viewers, we watched all this happen. We knew that it was real. We knew that the reality was far more terrifying than the image. We can denounce the perpetrator's sordidness and despicability, but we can't undo the irretrievable, Feeling powerless for permanent damage.
Just as at the end of the film, Jenny mustered up the courage to confront the perpetrator face to face. When she recovered the anger she had lost for more than 30 years, she collapsed after a burst of excitement. Later, a 13-year-old herself appeared beside her, obsessed with telling the "beautiful and special" love story.
After being sexually assaulted, Jenny has been living "healthy" till now, but a part of her body stayed forever in the summer vacation thirty years ago.
This article was first published on the WeChat public account [MOVIE Muwei], welcome to follow.
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