After watching the movie, I realized that it was another bleak story. All freedom comes at a price.
The neighbor’s children stood in the attic and sang: "Dirty Monica, dirty Monica..."
A dining table filled with socks and underwear; mother was doing laundry in the middle of a narrow hut; neurotic father got drunk Beating and scolding; the younger brother who often breaks things.
Seventeen-year-old Monica lives in a mess. How can she be elegant, how can she speak quietly and sweetly.
After I grew up, I felt that the growth of every girl is really not easy. Every girl's growth has to endure how much humiliation and destruction, time, inner storm, and others.
Such a girl who lives at the bottom can never learn to speak, nor can she learn to be elegant. Her immature lips learned vulgar language since she was a child, and her active limbs wore dirty clothes. She is angry. Her fleshy face was angry at her parents, at the man who molested her in the vegetable shop, and at herself. Vigorous desire grows in her young body. She is totally unwilling to be a secular woman, she has a vivid complexion in her body.
In the cafe, she met Harry by the fire. She tilted her head and looked at the young man in front of her with a cigarette in her mouth. On a direct date, the two wandered on the cold river bank. She didn't care, and didn't know if it was her love. She just wanted to get rid of her current life. After suffering for a long time, she wanted to betray her family.
They sang songs, drove the yacht, and blew the cold wind in early summer, and traveled far. In the film, there are a lot of scenes floating on the sea, mountains and woods in the distance, the wavy sea surface, the sun, and the gentle wind in summer.
Monica was naked, muttering songs in her mouth, and bounced to find a place to bathe in the rocks. Thick calf, sloshing fat and breasts. She runs without care, without any pretentiousness, in a world with many rules and constraints.
Later things began to make people sad. Monica married Harry after becoming pregnant. And she was even a child, and she disliked the many annoyances her daughter had caused her. She couldn't bear Harry not being by her side all day long to live, and she couldn't bear the worry of two people about paying the rent. She wants to watch a movie, and she wants a beautiful coat. She didn't even want to change the diaper for her child.
She used the rent paid to buy beautiful clothes and go to a cafe to date her old lover. Harry went home from get off work tired, and when he saw Monica and others in his bed, he hid in pain.
Goodbye Monica, the two quarrel fiercely. This quarrel was deeply saddened, he hugged Monica, and the two began to kiss. Monica cried and said that she didn't want to live such a life, and she was slowly becoming ugly.
When I was seventeen or eighteen years old, the sentence I recited repeatedly was "Every tombstone is smeared with youth", which is the lyrics of pk14 "So young, and the heart is moist, so young, and the heart is empty", which belongs to Beidao. "Answer" keeps repeating: "I don't believe" is the slogan of "Popular Songs" "Life will not end, fight endlessly" is "Loyal as a dog, poverty as a knife", it is Gu Cheng's "Night gives me black eyes" ", is the last sentence of Kerouac's Dharma Wanderer, "Always young, always tears in my eyes".
At that time, we listened to He Yong, Zhang Chu and Dou Wei, read Kerouac and Ginsburg, read Coben’s absolute letter, Che Guevara’s diary, and sang death, futile, deceit, and contempt for positivity and health. Believe that all hope, light and power are hidden in the darkness.
When I think back to the age of seventeen or eighteen, anger is not without reason. There is no pain outside, so I start looking for pain inside.
Perhaps everyone at the age of seventeen or eighteen is self-esteem and rebellious, sensitive and lazy.
Don't shy away, nevertheless. I still have sympathy for Monica, because of suffering, she longs for love; because of suffering, she has many pursuits for material things. She was worried that she would be ugly, she had no money, and Harry was busy running around and was not by her side all day long.
In the film, the plot is downplayed and there are a large number of two people sailing on the sea in summer, singing on the rocks, and looking at each other warmly. The beauty of the past is still as clear as a brand.
Every child has his own problems, some are solved, some are more serious. Before anything can be understood, everything is over in a hurry.
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