We will eventually leave our parents, with their love and hurt.
If you use three words to describe the impression your family brings to you, what would you choose?
Longing, wandering, running away.
This is the concept of home described by American journalist Janet Walls.
In this home, there are many things you dreamed of when you were young.
I don’t have to go to school, play every day, and imagine building a house made of glass. My parents and their four children travel around the United States.
However, they also "enjoy" at the same time, are hungry, are driven out of the house at any time to avoid debt collection, and cannot have a normal growth period.
The heroine Janet, who is only 5 or 6 years old, is the second child in the family. Once she was very hungry and told her mother that she wanted to eat.
In the end, my mother said to her, do you want me to prepare food for you that will only fill you for an hour, or use these time to complete a painting that can be kept for a long time?
Janet did not speak, moved a chair by herself, stood on it and cooked sausages with gas, and asked her mother how many sticks she would like to eat.
But her clothes burned at this time, and the skin on her stomach was severely burned.
The doctor asked her, why do you want to cook alone?
She said that her mother didn't make it for her and was eating the food provided by the hospital with relish.
The parents brought her sister and brother to see her. She told her parents that it was really nice here, and there was endless food.
Then the father made his younger son pretend to be sick in the hospital in order not to pay the medical bills, and took the opportunity to take Janet out of the hospital, who was about to heal.
This is the beginning of the movie and the beginning of Janet's childhood memories.
Everything seems to be normal for their family's life, but these years under the cover of their parents are not friendly to the four children.
They have gone through escapes and moved again and again, and each time their father told them that this was the last time, but there will always be the next time.
Until they returned to their father's hometown and lived with their grandparents.
Here, my father promised them, pointing to a broken house without water and electricity, and said that we will rebuild this house, every room is partitioned by glass, and solar cells must be built on the roof so that we can save money. Electricity bill.
The children said excitedly, is this our glass castle? Can we really build the best-looking house in the United States this time?
They were very motivated, digging foundations and cleaning the room, but the construction stopped again.
Every promise made by my father became the wine in the wine glass, and he had no room for maneuver after a sip.
When the water pipe at home was broken, my father took the family to take a bath in the swimming pool;
Forced Janet to learn to swim, and threw her into the water again and again;
There was no food at home, and Janet mixed butter with sugar for her sister to eat, but her mother said that I kept it for making bread.
It seems that there is really nothing they can miss in this family. They can only rely on themselves if they want to change their lives.
The four siblings began to save money secretly, and every time they saved enough money to fill the piggy bank, they would leave a child.
When Janet was about to leave the house, his father pointed to the architectural drawings and said, "Don't go, I really want to build a glass castle this time."
Her father's alcoholism had already disappointed her. The only things she couldn't let go of leaving were her younger siblings and mother.
And that piece of land where foundations are to be built has long been filled with countless rubbish, and the castle has long ceased to exist.
The glass castle is a childhood dream of the four of their siblings. If they cannot be obtained, they cannot be built, they will collapse at any time. This is the life their parents gave them.
For many people, this kind of life is far away from us.
We don’t have to worry about food and clothing, we don’t have to send people under the fence, we don’t need to worry about financial distress, one day we will suddenly become homeless, and we can only have a family of six squeezed in a dilapidated car.
At Janet’s engagement banquet, her parents came uninvited and told her that she is having such a good time and wanted to borrow money from her to buy the land passed down from her uncle.
Janet asked how much? Mother said one million dollars.
Janet couldn’t imagine that this land was passed to her mother and uncle when her grandmother died at the age of 11, but she did not sell the land and used the money to improve their precarious lives. , In exchange for the mother's sentence, your grandfather said that this piece of land cannot be sold.
At the age of eleven, that was the beginning of their childhood nightmare. If they had the money, they wouldn't have to spend so hard, and they wouldn't have to worry about having a meal or not.
Similar to this, Janet's father has also lived in the shadow of her grandma since she was a child.
There is a plot in the film where the children read the diary written by their father when they were young, which is a description of the house.
Grandma's harshness to her grandchildren is exactly the same as that of father's childhood.
The younger brother vomited a bite of food on the dining table and was beaten directly on the head by grandma. Janet immediately stood up and said, "You are not allowed to beat my brother, but my father scolded her and said to listen to my grandma."
The grandmother passed the bad things on to the father, and the father also sprinkled the bad things on the children.
Janet's emotional loss of control several times came from the memory of this native family.
She discussed the wedding date with her fiancé and took him to see her parents. She was originally gentle, but she yelled childishly and told her fiancé and father to break their arms.
While having dinner with a client, she occasionally talked about her family. She could not tell that her parents were scavenging waste on the street and living in an abandoned building.
She ran out of the restaurant, thinking about everything her father had done to her.
When she was young and burned, her father told her not to be afraid, these scars were signs of bravery;
There is no gift for Christmas, so the father asked the children to choose a star in the sky as a gift, because the star will never disappear;
When Janet had no money to continue studying at university and was about to be expelled, her father showed up and dropped the US$950 she won from gambling...
Indeed, fathers and mothers are not good to them at all. When they walk into society, they cannot face and talk about any topic about the family normally, which is a wound for them.
For her alcoholic father and mother who only knows about painting, the sense of responsibility seems to have never existed in this family.
But my father didn't always care about her, but offered a helping hand when needed.
She was shaken.
The good and bad that this kind of family has brought her, while trying to lose those hurts, there is no way to keep those good memories.
Then I choose to accept those hurts, keep those good things, and try my best not to pass on these hurts to the next generation.
This emotion is brought by the original family and passed on from generation to generation.
Native family refers to the family in which one was born and grew up.
The atmosphere of the family, traditional habits, the children’s role in the family’s learning effects, and family interactions, etc., all affect their children’s performance in their new family in the future.
People need to understand the influence of their original family, so as not to bring some negative elements from the original family to the new family.
In "Iron Man", the relationship between Tony and his father has also been strained.
Old Stark's education of his son has always been suppressive. Tony doesn't know what his position is in his father's heart. He seems to be dispensable in his father's heart.
Tony felt that the happiest day for his father was the day when he sent himself to the boarding school, because his father would not have to see himself for a long time.
This antagonistic father-son relationship cannot be eased until the death of Old Stark.
Tony later discovered the video that his father had left before his death. He knew that his father had always regarded him as proud and bet everything about the future on him, which made Tony's heart untie.
But the opening of this knot deepened Tony's guilt for his father's misunderstanding.
This kind of emotion from parents and family will definitely stay on the growth trajectory of the child.
Maybe it's because mom bargained when buying vegetables, so that when you grow up, every time you buy something, your first reaction is to look at the tag;
Maybe it was because of a wealthy family from a young age, but suddenly fell into a family and couldn't adapt to the lives of ordinary people;
Maybe it's because of my father's saying "I hope you can be admitted to a certain university" but he failed to do so, and put this pressure on the next generation.
When the college entrance examination rankings were released this year, a text interviewed by reporters by the No. 1 scholar in the liberal arts college entrance examination in Beijing was madly forwarded by netizens.
It’s getting harder and harder for children in rural areas to get into a good school. You are like me, who belong to a middle-class family (children), you have no worries about food and clothing, and your parents are all intellectuals, and you are still born in a big city like Beijing. Enjoying this unique condition in educational resources is something that many children from other places or rural areas can't enjoy at all. This kind of thing determines that when I am studying, I can indeed take many shortcuts.
The current champions are all of this kind. In general, they are the kind of good and powerful ones at home.
Knowledge may not change your destiny, but you cannot change your destiny without knowledge.
My parents are diplomats. How can I say that they have created a good family atmosphere for me since I was young, including the cultivation of my study habits and personality.
Because I laid a solid foundation in every step, it was natural in the end.
This passage seemed so correct that he couldn't refute it, because he said what most people had never dared to say.
His life was brought to him by his native family, and I also believe that his future life will not be so bad.
And most of our parents actually give their best to their children.
Teach them to know what is right and what is wrong.
This kind of three views that the original family has established for the child since childhood is the first appearance that the child can touch the society, and it is also the instinctive reaction of the child to things when he grows up.
The deepest imprint on us is what we cannot erase, and what we can do is to think about how to change the bad and leave the good to make the original family better and better.
From time to time, I always feel like a parent for a moment.
Strong planning, slight cleanliness, like to be alone,
I can't change these seemingly inborn things, but I don't want to compromise.
In these nature dictated personalities,
How much have you been influenced by your parents?
The first article is published on my WeChat public account. Movie WeChat account: zhengudianying
Recommended reading: The coal miner who starred in "The Good Man in Three Gorges" accidentally won an international actor, but he bluntly said "I was killed by the movie". WeChat backstage replied [429] to extract the article to see the transformation of this former miner to a non-profit film producer.
My main business is to dig out the true story behind the movie and pay attention to the true easter egg behind a classic movie every day.
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