There are a lot of such scams in China!

[the Madoffs watch TV as they attempt suicide by Ambien overdose]

Ruth Madoff: Can't we just have quiet?

Bernie Madoff: I can't fall asleep unless I watch something.

Ruth Madoff: You just took a whole fucking bottle of Ambien, Bernie. Sleep's not gonna be your problem.

Bernie Madoff: My mind races.

Ruth Madoff: Fine. Our last night on Earth will be you, me and Judy Garland. How romantic.

Bernie Madoff: Let's not get started, Ruth.

[Bernie takes Ruth's hand]

Bernie Madoff: We had a good life, didn't we?

Ruth Madoff: Hmm. Yeah. Until you ruined it.

Frank DiPascali: In my expierience, and I mean this, there's only four different types of pussy. Okay? I'm dead serious. You got your... Let me show you. I just saw one. All right, right there. See there? That's your Honda Civic pussy. Gets you where you wanna go. No shame in this pussy at all. Reliable. You just, you know, you're not gonna be proud to be seen riding around town in it, am I right? Nothing against her.

Andrew Madoff: What's going on?

BLM Employee: It's the world according to Frankie over there.

Frank DiPascali: Right there. You see that there? That's your Buick Regal pussy. A step up from the Honda. Uh, generally, they're cleaner, okay? Roomier, you fit more passengers in there. I guess there's pros and cons to that in a pussy. You know, lovely pussy. Nobody's gonna mistake it for a Benz, though, am I right? Am I right, Robert? Okay, thank you. God bless you.

Frank DiPascali: [continues] Next up, my personal favourite. I just saw one. There. Now, don't make it obvious. Right there. That is you Lincoln Continental pussy. Beautiful. Just... It's just right. You know what I mean? Like Goldilocks, just right. It's not too fancy, it's not too plain. It just... It's just comfortable. It just fits. No, no, it's like an old pair of slippers except instead of your foot, you put your cock in it. Am I wrong?

Frank DiPascali: [continues] No, no, stay with me and hold all questions till the end. Okay. Right tere, you see that? Ugh. There it... Read it and weep. It's your Mercedes-Benz pussy. Right? Look at it. I mean, it's beautiful. It's just a feat of vaginal engineerig. No, it handles just great. It's sleek, it's tight, it looks good, it feels good, it smells good. But a lot of upkeep. Yeah? Payments are murder and you gotta wax it, you gotta polish it, you gotta talk to it, you gotta listen to it. And, most importantly, you gotta remain ever-vigilant that nobody fucking jacks it, right? You don't have to worry about that, 'cause you'll never get near anything like that. So don't worry about it.