Bailiff:
Next case: Snively vs. Framm.
Judge Cranfield:
This one of your high-profile divorce cases?
Bailiff:
No, sir. Custody.
Judge Cranfield:
Oh, custody.
[Then sees Buddy, unchained, in his courtroom]
Judge Cranfield:
Holy Toledo! What is that dog doing in the courtroom?
Bailiff:
That's the uh, child, sir.
Judge Cranfield:
That's a pretty ugly kid.
[Observers laughing. Courtroom attendants laughs at his remarks]
Bailiff:
It's a dog.
Judge Cranfield:
What?
Bailiff:
The case is about custody of a dog.
Judge Cranfield:
All right, I'll take it, but we have to do this seriously. I will not have my courtroom turned into some kind of a circus.
[Norman Snively walks into the courtroom, dressed as a clown, shocking Judge Cranfield]
Judge Cranfield:
Who the hell are you?
Norm Snively:
Mr. Norman F. Snively, Your Honor. I'm the plaintiff.
[Dog growls]
Judge Cranfield:
You look like an idiot.
Norm Snively:
Why, thank you, sir. See, I'm a clown by profession. Happy Slappy's the name. Clown and the Hound. Begging your humblest pardon, I thought it might be helpful to Your Honor, if I appeared here today in the guise most pertinent to the cogent and unequivocal stating of my case.
Judge Cranfield:
Whatever, whatever. Y-Y-You got first, clown.
Norm Snively:
Well, the fact is, Your Honor, that dog's my property, and I have papers to prove it.
Judge Cranfield:
Well, would you show them to me, please?
Norm Snively:
Well, actually, Your Honor, I-I had papers to prove it. But that boy - that young hooligan - because of his irresponsible and criminal activity, is responsible for what you see.
[Crowds murmuring. And Judge Cranfield bangs his gavel in restoring order in the court]
Judge Cranfield:
Order!
[Dog barking]
Norm Snively:
You see, sir, when I lost my dog for the first time, it broke me up real bad. When I lost him the second, it darn near killed me. Hell's bells, Your Honor, All I wanna do is get Old Blue back. So it can be him and me together just like it always was.
Josh Framm:
Why? So you can abuse him some more?
Judge Cranfield:
That will be enough, young man.
[Judge Cranfield bangs his gavel. Dog barking]
Norm Snively:
I raised that dog from puppy. I wouldn't harm a hair on his head!
[Crowds yelling. Judge Cranfield bangs his gavel in restoring order in the court. Dog barking]
Judge Cranfield:
Bailiff, what is that?
Bailiff:
The dog, Your Honor.
Judge Cranfield:
Oh.
[Crowds talking]
Judge Cranfield:
Order!
[Judge Cranfield bangs his gavel in restoring order in the court. Dog barking]
Judge Cranfield:
Quiet!
[Bangs gavel. Dog barking]
