At that time, I had known the name of "Lover" for a long time, but I only knew the general plot. Simply list it as a "pornographic" column. For me, who have never watched pornography, I am very willing to see what is going on. I agreed, and she tortured it to me.
I don't have a computer. I lay this movie on my USB flash drive for a long time, and I dare not go to the school computer room to watch it openly. Every time the school girl sees me, she has to ask, have you seen it? What do you think? Does it look good? Hey-hey! Finally, after being asked by her once, I said, should I go to your dormitory to see it. She thought for a while and said, we have no class in the second quarter this afternoon, and all three of them will have to go to retake. Come on.
I still remember that afternoon when I didn’t know whether it was summer or winter, we drew the heavy dusty curtains in the college girls’ dormitory. Secretly, wearing headphones, finished watching this movie.
In the days that followed, I had revisited it countless times by myself. I saw my own inner world in front of the computer screen and in the dim picture. She burst into tears.
I have never been moved by any love emotions, only those unforgettable sufferings can move me.
From the beginning, I felt that in this story, love is just a foil.
Just like when I was 18 years old, I was so polished by reality that I couldn't think about love. In my real life, there has never been a storm. I was squeezed in a small school, desperately calculating the monthly living expenses, working part-time, holding a meager salary, worrying about what to eat next meal, and whether I could get the scholarship. And worry, worry about what I can do in the future.
A year later, I borrowed "The Hungry Daughter" by Hong Ying from the library. That story is just like the lover I see now, and the same mental and material poverty that I have experienced over the years. Sitting in the chaotic studio, I seemed to read this story again.
Later, when the school organized to watch "The Ballad of Clouds and Water", I sat in a group of crying young men and women, feeling at a loss.
They don't know how much I envy them. I also want to cry like him, moved by the love story. Instead of finding sympathy in the suffering of barrenness.
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