I wrote in the weekly diary "My dream is to be a boy". I still remember the teacher's comment that "Boy girls are actually more free and easy!" Ah, so cool.
The ones who clamor that I have a man’s heart are actually soft girls, which are regarded as a bonus point for cuteness. Therefore, I am more and more aware of this and I am more and more embarrassed to say that I am really MAN in my heart. I am afraid of being pretentious after all. It seems such a sissy.
But once I was ignorant and young, I really wanted to make myself like a boy.
Dad likes me with short hair, so I will cut it into a little boy's head. I don’t wear a skirt because it will hinder my dad and me from climbing mountains and jumping steps. Very dangerous high-level ski trails. Skates that fell into pigs’ heads. As long as Dad shows you a little bit of weakness, I will show him my bravery right away, even if I am still afraid in my heart, even if I feel embarrassed and want to cry, it’s only for him. It's great to praise me like a cousin.
He hates people crying and crying, he doesn't like girls acting like a baby, and he can't stand cowardice and not being strong.
When I was very young, I read a lot of national excellent essays, and the patriarchal writers suppressed the misery. The kind of articles really touched, okay? When I timidly asked my mother that you like boys and girls, my heart didn’t know how to put it away. Play more volume with anxiety.
Why are some unimportant things so clear in the children's mind?
For example, before the birth, the father was really expecting a son. For example, the grandfather took a piece of paper with the name all given to a little boy. For example, the grandmother always talked a little about the little brother who was almost overborn.
I know that these little things are just talking, and I know that you all love me very much, there are not so many bloody plots I imagined, but -----
When I was in junior high school, I developed the habit of wearing men’s clothing. I casually talked about it at home. When I was tired from playing basketball at school today, I had a lot of inexplicable pride in my heart. People who ride on bicycles have to fly, and they like a girl who suddenly brakes. He raised his chin next to him, although he felt so stupid that he couldn't look directly at him, but at the time, he really felt very hungry. Going to the late night school building with a good friend for a big adventure. She held me tight and said that I feel safe next to you. She smiled secretly in her heart, but one day I found out that she looked at a pretty side face and raised her face. Changfa actually wanted to kiss him, which made me feel that I was really far away from the longing and loss.
Seeing Mother Luo said, "I don't care about you pretending to be a boy, not at all, but can you always pretend to be a boy, can you tell me you have a better way? I don't have any", she pokes her tears inexplicably. Maybe I just remembered that when I almost came out one night, my mother held my hand tightly and said in a trembling voice, "You won't make mother sad, will you?" You are very obedient, aren't you?
In the last scene, I saw Luo Er lower her head nervously, then raised her head, looked elsewhere and glanced at Lisa's face, and then she smiled a little. I knew that Lisa must have laughed first.
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