When you speak, get ready to face it.
Melinda Sordino,
she gave up speaking,
gave up opening to explain, gave up expressing disgust, gave up telling sorry, gave up expressing pain, gave up conveying gratitude, gave up responding, love.
From that day on, she stopped wearing pink clothes that were not ugly. She began to hate everything about beauty, and the past that that color represented. Even though she couldn't choose, she still stubbornly protested silently wearing canvas shoes. This is me.
As 15-year-old Mel, my grades plummeted. Everything about ex-bestfriend and ex-self was turned into a sword that pierced my heart every moment. To be hated and discarded only because of ridiculous but unexplainable reasons.
One goes home, one goes to school, one rides in the car, one eats, one attends class, one forbears, and one is strong. These things that I seem to enjoy now are pains that the little girl could not bear. Suspected, hated, and rejected. Slowly, the unavoidable beating self-esteem told himself that only if this goes on, I will never cry in front of anyone. Who will show your tears?
Hiding in the closet, biting on the clothes, roared out his pain and resentment. This kind of venting, just such sneaking, and not daring to make a sound, in my eyes, is superstitious and great.
Your own bed is always the best place to escape. Mel doesn't like his pink and tender bedroom, although it comes from his mother's love, although it comes from his former self. But the situation is that he likes the dark but very private basement in his eyes, which is very beautiful and comfortable. That is her paradise, where there is no secret, no loss, no pain. She can conflict there, draw pictures, express herself, and write book reports. [We must all have such a pure place to accommodate ourselves who are not pure but desire freedom. 】
We all hate winter like this. A few days ago, my roommate was still talking about the one thing I couldn’t change in my life is to hate winter. I can’t give a reason. It seems too cold and bloated is not enough for me to hate him. Reasons for a lifetime.
Mel said it started too early and ended too late. Yes, this is the reason, because once you start to bear it, you long for an end.
I thought about avoiding and leaving, but there was no way.
Painting saved my 15-year-old movie and saved me 15-year-old at that time. Her painting skills are getting better and better. I watch more and more movies. It seems that after you enter that world, nothing can disturb you anymore. For me, in the movie, I enjoy the world where no one can be selfish. That world is not a director, not an actor. Yes, it's not the screenwriter, nor yours. Only from the moment I took the disc and put it in the optical drive would I find the meaning of my survival, and these so-called meanings, the little girl at the time just thought that doing so would make me feel better. Look at me, who is much happier and mature now, but gradually lost this ability to regulate myself in difficult situations. Strength is always forced out, I have never known it.
For a lifetime, it is enough to have a person you love and a thing you love.
I am very fortunate that because of the so-called bad times, I have something that I will love for my whole life.
I remember my teacher with a serious face at that time, which is very different from the ones in the movie.
Mel’s long-haired English teacher, like M, is afraid to express her dissent, but repeats his work and his life. She writes the letters in fear and writes on the blackboard next to it. It must be carefully considered.
The Neck history teacher made a boy a new hero in Mel's heart, and he also has the warmth like the sun. Although it may be a point light source, it is also powerful enough. In fact, as a teacher, he wanted to help M. He wanted her to speak, and he wanted her to stop being silent. Sadly, he chose the wrong method, so the result was only evasion and rejection.
NEW HERO—"The key to feminism is to speak freely. You can't be silent while emphasizing your rights. If you don't say it bravely, nothing will change." He gave M the beginning of a new life, or He is just a lead.
So when M is ready to face life with a new mentality, everything is different. The long-haired English teacher curled up her hair, and so did she herself.
Heather. In fact, she is not M's life-saving straw, because M does not like her, so she will not do anything against her original intention. This "selfish, selfish girl who just wants to climb up" is just a representative of a class of people. They are timid and selfish, but they are not evil. She once said the right thing, "If you work hard through this bad period, there will be many people who will be friends with you." Yes, what kind of situation you can only choose by yourself.
I was the same as M at that time. Strong, stubborn, firm eyes closed but true inner monologue. This is true even in the face of all friends, teachers, principals and parents. Maybe you have a perfect family, but the arrogance in your character is an opportunity to be inspired. There is no lack of love, never, but you can restrain yourself from accepting these loves. So slowly lost the ability to love and express.
"I used to have a lovely sunny daughter, and she has become a dumb now."
Sorry, Mom and Dad, I love you.
When I watched "Speak" for the third time, there was a power outage in the university and no one wanted to take it seriously, whether it was a student or a teacher. So I also fell into the focus of memory, and once some things entered the darkness, there was no possibility of sharing anymore. I m sorry ,but I can't share.
Mel played truant for a whole day "I quit class ,you quit class. He,she,it,quit class."
She wanted to find an exit on the condition that he was a person, and It is a stranger. Is enough.
She sat on the bus and looked back at the little girl lying quietly in her mother's arms. She also just wanted one, a brave embrace at all costs.
She is eager to speak, but life does not provide such an object. So she followed a nurse aimlessly to a hospital.
She secretly changed the gown and lay secretly in an empty ward.
"I always can't sleep at home. How long will it take for the nurses to find out that I don't belong here. Can they let me rest here for a few days?" So in such a place that did not belong to her, she once again recalled those memories. After countless shots, she was kissed by the lipstick, and she slowly buttoned on her own. Then -------
【It happened, there's no way avoiding it, nor forgetting】
This is a sentence that made me close my eyes without holding back my tears.
Just one sentence, in the middle of the red heart.
In the end, no one noticed that Mel left by himself. The initial desire not to be discovered gradually became a loss. Because it is impossible for anyone to pay attention to the changes in her existence.
What are we thinking, does anyone really care? They just complete their tasks and express their opinions, so even if you are really silent, no one will find out. No one can really save you except yourself.
At that time there were no brave people, no listeners, and no understanders. Later, I no longer think about redeeming anything. After all, it is no longer needed. The new life will not allow the old past to exist. Now think about the words like "It's okay, you have me now" is really hypocritical, but this kind of warmth may I have really imagined that I needed it.
Death is just a part of life, something we're all destined to do
is just a part of life, something we're all destined to do one thing
put the past behind you, you can move on.
Put down the burden, to move
the tree.
We have to continue to grow and transform day after day, year after year, just like it.
Then, the one who ran out of the hospital began to learn to refuse, and began to learn to express disgust. "In the beginning I was very good to you, I didn't even like you, but you left me. Because you are a selfish person who wants to climb up, so NO. Do you know what I know how I don’t know about me In the bedroom, I don’t need any eggplant purple at all, I think you should go..."
It’s simple and straightforward, and doesn’t even have any emotions. Refuse.
The mother smiled. Finally, the daughter began to express her thoughts.
At that time, I was riding a car, feeling that I could break through all obstacles in the wind, because I m strong now.
I can wave the racket to the end and win, and then tell everyone that I am me, no need to end the problem. discuss.
Then she struggled and contradicted again. She still cares whether Ex-bestfriend is harmed. There is no way, this is fate, or she has no way to completely give up the friendship she had poured into it. But often, the result of trying to speak is that the misunderstanding is more profound. So all the previous efforts were beaten back to the bottom by the sentence "You should see a psychiatrist". All the strong bodies were destroyed by the best friend again. So --- give up completely, give up to contradictions and struggles, let it be, let it go.
I love my parents, and Mel is the same. In the end, she still didn't want her parents who let her love and love herself deeply call her "hello stranger.", she found that she has extremely important meaning and value to these two people. A hug, a smile. She began to learn to express gratitude, and began to respond and release her love.
The car window is still open, but the little girl who has completely transformed at this moment has already experienced what she really should face.
"I want to tell you."
[When you speak, you are ready to face. 】
I am getting better now, or I am willing to be better, I have very important and loyal friends, girls are tough no matter what. At the same time, I have the person I love. Some people may say that everything is undecided, but there is always someone, because of him, your life has changed since then. I am very happy, but that little girl at that time, she didn't have these. Not everyone has such a person, who is by your side when you are almost desperate, telling you what happened, I m here, always. But when you come over, you will find that only when you become beautiful can you grasp and own the beautiful Strength and qualifications.
Finally
Kristen Stweart is amazing.
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