This is a work of cute dog blood

E.B.: Fred, I was wondering if... Are you doing anything tomorrow?

Fred O'Hare: Oh. Tomorrow I get start my new job at the video game company. Wait a second. No, that didn't work out.

E.B.: I know. I know. I'm sorry about that. But do you know what? Every cloud has a silver lining. And behold this silver lining, Fred!

[hands Hoff knows talent flier to Fred]

Fred O'Hare: [he looks at the flier] The Hoff?

E.B.: Yes, please. I just need a ride.

Fred O'Hare: Mmm. No.

Fred O'Hare: Aw, come on, Fred. This is my one big chance. I'll do anything. Even get out of your life.

Fred O'Hare: I take you to Hoff knows talent, and that's it, we're done.

E.B.: Bunny's honor.

[spits on his paw]

E.B.: Right here, mate.

Fred O'Hare: It's okay. A verbal agreement is fine.

Bonnie O'Hare: [Henry, Bonnie, Sam, and Alex pull out letters for Fred] Dear Fred, as your mother, I have always loved you, and it hurts me to have to tell you in this way, but there comes a time when every young man must grow up and leave the nest.

Fred O'Hare: You all prepared statements?

Henry O'Hare: Fred, we're just doing this because we love you, son.

Bonnie O'Hare: The Sadeki family down the street went through the same thing with their son Jordy. He just laid on the couch all day watching court shows, but then they had an intervention, and now he works in a pharmacy and has an apartment.

Fred O'Hare: I don't - I don't really want to work at a pharmacy, Mom.

Henry O'Hare: Well, you need to do something. You need to get a life. You need to get a job and you need to move out. Especially the last one.

Fred O'Hare: But I did move out. And I did get a job. Is it my fault that the company oversized?

Henry O'Hare: Fred, that was over a year ago! You have to get back on the horse

Bonnie O'Hare: And you have so much potential.

Fred O'Hare: Thanks, mom.

Alex O'Hare: Sometimes I think you adopt me because Fred was such a disappointment.

Fred O'Hare: Wow.

[Sam hits Alex's arm with her hand]

Henry O'Hare: Alex, that is a very hurtful statement.

Alex O'Hare: You're not denying it.

Bonnie O'Hare: Eat your dinner.

Fred O'Hare: Mom, Dad, I'm trying, okay? I go on job interviews. I had one today!

Henry O'Hare: Yes, but it wasn't what you were looking for. It's always something. You didn't like the commute. The parking lot was too far away from the building. The man in the cubicle next to you smells

Fred O'Hare: He smelled.

Henry O'Hare: Fred, nothing is ever good enough for you.

Fred O'Hare: You don't want me to settle, do you?

Bonnie O'Hare: Settling is fine.

Fred O'Hare: Dad, when I was a kid, you said when I grew up I was going to do something great.

Henry O'Hare: Yes. But now I'm telling you that you should forget about great and settle for getting any job.

Bonnie O'Hare: We should have nudged you out of the nest a long time ago.

Henry O'Hare: Baby birds get a nudge. Giant birds who never leave, they get shoved.