Confucius Ye Yan, Beijing Huize Xinzhou Psychological Expert and Chief Counselor, said: "Eating men and women has great desires." It means that human life is nothing more than two things: food and men and women, that is, food and sex. The director Li Ang's film titled "Diet and Men and Women" borrowed from Confucius' poetic line to express the entanglement of love and desire in a family. The film tells the process of the family structure of a single-parent family (a middle-aged widowed father who has grown up three daughters alone for 16 years) from disintegration to reconstruction.
At the beginning of the film, a large number of colorful, fragrant and attractive food scenes are used, suggesting a family full of desires. We analyze the psychology from the following perspectives: the taboo of family love-incest emotion, family order (offside and substitution of elder daughter), and competition between children for father's love.
After his prime-age father lost his wife, he raised three daughters by himself. For 16 years, how did his father face the sexual instinct from the depths of his life and the three daughters who grew up embarrassed and exuded sexual charm? What about? The film begins the relationship between the family members 16 years later. The father, who is beginning to enter old age, does things simply and decisively. He walks as fast as the wind, and seems to have inexhaustible energy. The father still runs in the morning every morning, and after coming back from the morning run, he ran into each daughter's room and opened the door, pushing the daughters by the shoulders to wake them up. The father still washed and dried the underwear for the three adult daughters, and could clearly identify them one by one, and sent them back to each daughter's closet. We see that there seems to be no sex at all in this family. Although at this time, the youngest daughter is already 20 years old. If the taste of sex is real, but turning a blind eye to it, it can only mean that it is "deliberately suppressed." The father told his daughter to get up, shoving and yelling loudly. There are also scenes in the film where the father's tenderness is inadvertently revealed: he leaned close to Jia Qian’s bed and stroked his daughter’s shoulders, calling out softly, suddenly realizing something, and immediately stiffened, straightened his face, and yelled: “It’s time to get up. !", then quickly turned and left. The family's emotional communication was broken because of their fear of incest. They had no emotional communication at all. All communication is at the dinner table, "I have something to announce"", just tell, announce, start briefly and then stop abruptly. There is no communication because of dare not. Once the repressed incest emotions get out of control, it will be like turbulent Once the flood bursts, the consequences of flooding are unimaginable. Therefore, they must close the door of emotion, carefully restrain and guard this passion. Because of depression, the father of the top domestic chef also tasted prematurely. Degradation.
Children always can’t get rid of the competitive relationship. Since childhood, they have been trying hard to better and win the attention and love of their parents. The older sister is a good student, and the younger sister acts like a playful; the older sister is a good girl, and the younger sister looks like Tomboys; brothers are obedient, younger brothers are often stubborn and mischievous. Children are always smart. They can keenly feel how they do and can get the love of parents and mothers, which is different from brothers and sisters. The lack of this family mother, The father's silence about emotions caused the communication and intimacy between the sisters to vanish.
In families where the mother is missing, the eldest daughter will often consciously or unconsciously fill up the seat, replace the mother, and fulfill the mother's unfinished mission and family responsibilities. At the same time, she realized the secret wish of "marrying her father". Among the three daughters in the film, the eldest daughter Jiazhen bears the brunt of the film, and won the love of her father as a "substitute wife". In the process of competing for fatherly love, she has an absolute advantage. Therefore, when she grows up, her unconscious "mother" and "father's wife" role in her heart makes her demand that she maintain her loyalty to her father. She didn't realize this kind of unconscious Shoujie, but she just felt that she refused the invitation of men and was unwilling to find someone. In order to reduce stress, she weaves a tragic story ruthlessly abandoned by her first love to everyone, confessing that she is not willing to fall in love again because of a broken heart. The eldest daughter Jiazhen's appearance in the film: sitting in the bus wearing headphones, listening to religious hymns solemnly. The director used "headphones" and "songs" to allude to her isolation and avoidance from the real world and real life. The growing up of Jiazhen and his father in his prime, sexual desire sprouted in the family. Like her father, she adopted avoidance, depression, and restraint. She was unsmiling, wearing cloth-like underwear and gray clothes. In the battle against sexual desire, she formed an alliance with her father. However, her sexual desire was turbulent in her heart, even if she converted to Christ and read "Pure Heart Few Desires" on her face, it seemed that she could no longer suppress the vitality of life. The cats on the roof called spring, she was upset when she heard the cats, and she pushed the window to drive them away. A couple in the building next door sang love songs to each other. She couldn't bear it, so she moved out of the big speaker and played revolutionary songs at the treble next door. As a teacher, Jiazhen couldn’t watch students write love letters, knead them into a ball, throw them into the trash, and chant: Who has never received a love letter...
If Jiazhen used gentleness and tenderness to win her father’s love, two Daughter Jiaqian did the opposite, and kept fighting against her father. There are only three daughters and no sons in the family. This is a pity for the father who has a good cooking skill. The clever Jia Qian keenly captured this point. She had been around her father in the kitchen since she was a child, identified with his father's profession, and wanted to win his father's attention and love in her career. Although her father did not allow her to enter the profession of chef because she was a girl. But Jia Qian still proved her ability with a successful career. In the film, the second daughter played by Wu Qianlian is the most beautiful of the three daughters, but she recognizes more of the father's fatherhood, and becomes a woman with a man's heart even though she is a daughter.
The third daughter, Jianing, as the youngest daughter, also puts her in the most disadvantaged and weakest position. There is neither the absolute advantage of the elder sister, nor the beauty and intelligence of the second sister, and the second sister has already seized the field of studies and career first, but this may have even more exercised her good at observing words and behaviors and being well-behaved. She wandered between the sisters, playing the role of peacemaker. The film does not render too much pen and ink in her native family, but tells that the third daughter, Jianing, used some small means to snatch the boyfriend of a good friend to show her.
Psychology believes that everyone is an expert in solving their own problems. The film presents a repressive and rigid relationship pattern among family members over the past 16 years. When the daughters have become adults in 16 years, the problem of family depression for many years also makes every family member accumulate and prepare to break through.
The film actually started this breakthrough from the very beginning. His father, who was preparing for a family dinner on the weekend, answered a phone call. He cared about the other party with a deep and gentle voice and taught him how to make fish. For dinner, Jin Rong, a friend of Jiazhen’s eldest daughter, came home and asked "Where is Dad Zhu?" Jin Rong's daughter Shanshan said, "Mom fried the fish today." Those who are careful will understand, the director. Already telling us something. There are many details in the film, all alluding to the relationship between his father and Jin Rong. And until the end, at the climax of the film, when everyone believed that his father was going to marry Jin Rong’s mother, Aunt Liang, his father mustered up the courage to stand up after drinking and said that he would take good care of Jin Rong and Shan Shan. Ask auntie Fulfilled. The eldest daughter Jiazhen's first reaction frowned and reprimanded: "Dad, don't drink, you drink too much!" The deep meaning is self-evident. The father and Jin Rong combine, and marry a classmate and friend of his daughter to satisfy and complete the incest complex that has been suppressed for many years-the transfer of incest emotions and substitute satisfaction. Turning back to Jin Rong, Jin Rong lost her father in her early years. Isn't she willing to marry a man whose father's age is also a substitute for the lack of father's love? In any case, the father's internal conflict was finally resolved at the end of the film. My father also regained his sense of taste because of the resolution of sexual conflicts and sexual repression.
The eldest daughter Jiazhen’s constant repression of the need for love caused her to meet a few students’ pranks and an energetic physical education teacher Mingdao (the film uses basketball, sportswear, tight jeans, and high-powered motorcycles). Symbol of male attraction), successfully reached the collapse-the volcano erupted! She is passionate, bold, active and controlled. She couldn't wait to register and marry Mingdao immediately. After the dinner was announced with her family, she immediately got on Mingdao's motorcycle and galloped away. However, Jiazhen has only escaped the conflict and troubles between being a "substitute wife" and his father's "incest emotion". She did not step out of the "mother" role, and did not learn to be a woman and herself, not a "mother". Unfortunately, Ming Dao's combination with Jiazhen only allows him to live with a controlling "mother". Jiaqian asked Jiazhen, "Aren't you a believer? How could you marry a non-believer?" Jiazhen replied confidently, "He will be soon!" Ming Dao was at the family dinner table on the relationship between the sexes with Jiazhen. When he was baptized by the pastor, all his expressions and behaviors showed the image of an immature child. If during the consultation, we come to explore Ming Dao's native family, you will often find that he must have a strong controlling mother. Jiazhen left the family and found the feeling of being a mother in the newly formed small family. The repetition of life is happening terribly and sadly. On this point, it can be seen that "the growth of life must be derailed!-Psychological analysis of the film "Times and Storms"".
The third daughter captured her lover with the ability she learned in the process of growing up to compete with her father's love, making the youngest daughter the first to leave the family.
Among the three daughters, the eldest daughter and the third daughter have completed their separation from their father. When the third daughter, Jianing, left home, the original family model began to loosen. After dinner, Jia Qian and Jia Zhen washed the dishes together, and they had a conversation. Jiaqian asked her sister Jiazhen: Would you like to stay here forever? Jiazhen said: Don't tell me this, this is home, there is nothing wrong with it. Jia Qian said: But this is not all of you. Jiazhen was enraged and threw off the plate in her hand and said: But this is all of Dad. I know him so much better than you. I want to accompany my father (to keep my father's chastity). Jia Qian asked: Then how much do you know about my heart. Since Mom died, you have been my parent, not my sister. You keep me out. Jiazhen: I thought you hated me. Jia Qian: Never... teardrops have fallen. In 16 years, emotional communication has only begun for the first time, and love has begun to flow.
The second daughter Jiaqian, because she accidentally met her father who was undergoing a medical examination in the hospital, mistakenly thought that her father had a heart problem. This misunderstanding began to let her put down her resistance to her father, and her true feelings began to flow, Jiaqian like a boy. , Completed the reconciliation and spiritual communication with his father. At the end of the film, of the three daughters, the last to stay at home is the second daughter who is the most rebellious. The second daughter who seems to be arguing about leaving home early, in fact, has the deepest connection with home. Behind the rebellion is a deep nostalgia and love for family and father. When the rebellion disappeared, the second daughter used her father's professional tools and became a "chef", completely completing her identification with her father. It's just that completing the reconciliation and identification with the father-this is only the first step in life growth. What I suspect is that the heart that has wanted to be praised by my father for many years, really still remember what I really like and what I want?
We often feel love not in what the other person does or what the other person's behavior is, but in the way we "can feel love". The impact of our native family is far beyond our imagination. A friend shared her pattern of getting along with her lover. Only when she quarreled and aroused her boyfriend's anger, she felt a sense of satisfaction. She felt that he loved himself and he cared about himself. In order to confirm love, she always aroused her boyfriend's anger and quarrels intentionally or unintentionally. In the discussion of the event, she discovered that this model is surprisingly similar to her native family. Mom and Dad have been arguing and arguing since she can remember. In the quarrel, she learned to feel love, confirm love, and became familiar with this feeling. In the relationship between the sexes, she did not feel the gentle treatment. She must also only feel love from the quarrel, because this is the way of love she has been familiar with for many years.
At 9:35, the film appreciation meeting ended in contemplation.
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