She can't let herself get everything.
She accidentally killed her mother and her mother's lover. From then on, she felt that all the good things were not worthy of her own, and she began to punish herself.
Her friend asked her why she left her daughter and her boyfriend who loved him. I DON'T DESERVE THAT, she said softly.
As everyone knows, when she unscrewed the gas valve, she just wanted to give them some advice, and the fire blazed on the gas tank. When she tried to rescue them, the gas exploded and everything was blown out.
She couldn't understand why her mother was obsessed with that strange man with a strong accent, she didn't understand what was wrong with her parents.
All this, when she gradually learned about San Diego, things became more subtle. She forgave her mother, because like his father, this man can give her endless joy and care. The mother never wanted to lose the family, she just wanted to be happy.
He promised to give her a home and the three started again.
But the complicated and unshowable burden in the relationship finally made her abandon all happiness and escape.
She made love to all the men afterwards, not even asking for the last name. She hates the entanglement of men, even for a minute and a second, she doesn't want to talk about or ask for any one's feelings.
She felt that she was no longer worthy of love.
When her daughter came to seek her help, her first reaction was to escape from reality.
She thought of this man, everything was so warm, a little too hot, she was a little scared, fearing that the temperature would make her mind hot, she had become accustomed to the cold air, severe winter, and stepping into leather shoes barefoot, which made her clear about life. The haze, and the dark cloud, shrouded everything all the time.
Jumping from one man's arms into another, there is no need to imagine their departure or any pain.
She swiped in front of the eyes of different men, taking away only the joy she wanted.
And the man she loves the most, she has no guts to even get close.
Many girls who have a bad relationship with their mothers will deliberately alienate their daughters after they reach adulthood, because she is afraid that she will also restrain all good things. They always hurt each other because they want to make each other completely their own.
The kind-hearted daughter forgave her mother, and her warm eyes seemed to forgive all crimes.
She looked back on her life and finally found that at that moment she was no longer punished from within. All life, real life, struck her again.
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