I remember when I heard this movement for the first time, I was touched. Although I didn’t know its background, I stubbornly felt that, without reason, it must be related to the ruthless passing of time, It has something to do with something fleeting and beautiful. It’s the feeling of kneeling down and hiding your face in gratitude and tears. It’s the feeling of despair and desolation. Yes, the word "sorrow" may be the most appropriate, but there is still sadness. The power to seek tenaciously in suffering, and ardently believe that the dawn is coming, that there is something in the world that will never become a decay after all.
I also remember that in a hot summer afternoon, I was lying in bed and listening to this paragraph quietly. At that time, I was about to graduate from university, and my sense of despair suddenly filled my body and mind, and there were tears in the corners of my eyes. Later, I checked the information of the Fifth Symphony and found that it was written when Mahler recovered from a serious illness and met his beautiful lover. It was really dedicated to "love" and "death."
The whole "Soul Broken Venice" seems to be a magnificent music movie dedicated to the fourth movement. The composer Gustav (who is the same name as Mahler) suffered the loss of his daughter and suffered a serious heart attack. On the advice of a doctor, he came to the water city of Venice to recuperate. For this life-long demanding musician, the praised Venetian scenery, luxurious hotels, and courteous service did not relieve him, and the seasonal heat storm made him very uncomfortable. In the lively hall of afternoon tea, through the crowd of glamorous nobles, he saw Tazo, a beautiful young man with his cheeks meditating, his stunning beauty, just like a male version of Venus. Looking at the young boy's tender lips, he couldn't help but touch his dry and cracked lips. He remembered the hourglass he saw in his father's study when he was a teenager. When the sand was slowly flowing down, you didn't realize what happened. , Until the sand leaks out, you don't know that something has changed irreversibly. It is old age, the ruthless change of face, the tender lips of no more youth, the sudden imminent death.
And this beautiful boy stopped when he left the hall and stared at Gustav with a smile, which made him feel hope. The beaches of Venice are noisy, crowded, and the cries of fruit vendors keep coming. In order to be able to watch the beautiful boy silently, the musician spread out sheet music on the beach, and a big dark boy walked with Tazzo around him. He kissed Tazzo, and the musician stopped the pen in his hand, full of disappointment and Resentful. Back in the elevator of the hotel, he unexpectedly met Tazo and the group of teenagers. They whispered to each other. Among the group of young people, Gustav felt embarrassed and terrified. He decided to return to Munich. After finishing the hotel formalities, he met Tazo who came oncomingly, still smiling. The youth's smile and calmness made him escape in embarrassment. He silently said in his heart: Goodbye, Tazo.
If it weren't for the time delay on the train to Munich, he might be able to return to his hometown, write this breathtaking experience into his symphony, and then compose an ode to love and death. As everyone knows, his hard work has long been exhausted in his music works. This time, the goddess of art is incarnate as Tazo calling him to use his last bit of life to achieve immortal works. Sitting on the ship returning to St. Mark, the fourth movement sounded, and he walked towards the god of beauty and also towards death.
The wings of the god of death covered Venice, and more and more people died of the plague, but the city hall was afraid of affecting the tourism industry in Venice and blocked the news. Late at night, there was a mass carol in the church of St. Mark. Gustav looked at Tazo before the candlelight, his face was pure as a new birth. After praying, Tazzo left with his family, still sensing the old man's gaze, stopping from time to time, looking back, but said nothing. The bells of the cathedral's evening prayer rang throughout the city, and the night gradually fell, and there was a dead silence in front of the lively Governor's Mansion. Some people began to pour lime water on the ground, and an unidentified atmosphere enveloped Venice at night.
In the evening on the hotel terrace, Gustav met Tazo again, he leaned on the railing and said nothing. A folk song band is singing funny songs. No matter how interesting the clown’s performance is, people are dumbfounded and thoughtful. It seems that people feel the breath of death. From the clown's rhetoric, Gustav guessed the truth of the matter. When the clown began to perform again, the folk songs turned into unbridled laughter. People were infected by his laughter, and they all laughed forward and backward. Only the old composer who was silent and frowning alone heard the laughter. Fear.
From the kind bank official, Gustav was convinced of the news of cholera spreading in Venice, and the gentleman kindly persuaded him to leave in the afternoon. He wanted to do it so much, he wanted to walk up to Tazo and tell him to leave here quickly. Before meeting Tazo, he went to the beautician, and he wanted to re-summon time back to the time when Tazo was as young as Tazo. With the help of a beautician, he dyed his hair black, covered his face with foundation, and put on lipstick. He walked towards Tazo like this, followed him through the deadly Venice, walking through the walls of ancient buildings, his fake pale face so dazzling in the night. He could never call his name, this name that has been called countless times in his heart. In the end, he was tired, and his heart gradually couldn't hold it back, and Tazo's family seemed to have noticed this old man's weird behavior, calling him from time to time when Tazo looked back. Tazo finally disappeared into the night, into the tall masonry building, into the ominous fire. Gustav leaned against the stone table, clutching his heart, sweat and foundation intertwined on his face, like the clown he met on a boat when he first came to Venice. He painfully recalled the last time he conducted a symphony. He left the scene in embarrassment amidst the boos of the audience. His brother told him that his art was dead and would go to the grave with him. This artist with strict requirements, this artist who regards true beauty as life, obviously cannot cater to most kitsch audiences. He felt pained and helpless for his pursuit of beauty, which he adhered to the most in his life. But at this time, this beautiful young man awakened him, letting him know that there is still the pure beauty engraved in the soul, even if it is only encountered once in his lifetime, even if he must be grasped with heart and blood.
The next day, he got up early and learned that Tazzo and his mother would also leave at noon. In order to take another look at Tazo, with the help of the waiter, he went to the beach again. In the morning sun, Tazo walked towards the boundless ocean, and gradually transformed into a silhouette in the light, a statue of a beautiful boy in ancient Greece. He stretched out a hand as if calling a musician. The musician burst into tears, and the black hair dye ran down his forehead. At the moment when the young figure froze in the rising sun, his heart finally dried up and died. A few minutes later, people noticed him and hurriedly carried him away, and the lady frightened their children from approaching. This famous musician, he died in Venice, in the city where he used to pray.
The fourth movement reverberated on the sea in the early morning. I closed my eyes and listened. Even so, it was enough to respect the voice of the soul with heart and blood. I have seen the immortality of certain living beings. They love real life, even under the persecution of death, they still can't help but follow the pure beauty. Their strict requirements and their hopefulness will lead to their desolation and sadness of life. They live tenaciously in this world, experience tenaciously in suffering, ignoring the philosophy of life that "living" means "toward death", and are willing to put their lives in the abyss of despair and pain in exchange for immortality. They talked hard, just to touch the wings of the goddess of beauty and rest in peace under her peaceful gaze.
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