This madman named Fitzcarado is obsessed with all kinds of extremely unrealistic things. He made ice in the tropical rain forest and tried to make a fortune. He rowed a boat for two days in order to watch an opera by Caruso, but also thought Open an opera house in a rainforest town and invite Caruso to perform. This idealist with an extremely strange appearance and "explosive" hairstyle has become my idol from the very beginning. He is always full of enthusiasm, and he paranoidly believes in the feasibility of many stupid plans in the ridicule of others. No matter how many times he fails, he still firmly believes that he will achieve great success. He is a model of hopeless optimism. .
It was this man who, in order to obtain a piece of unexploited rubber land, led the fleet against the current and tried to tow the boat up the mountain, and he succeeded with the help of the indigenous people. You can’t imagine the intensity of that kind of work. Those dense and towering trees, snakes and other wild animals everywhere. It’s not easy to cross that mountain on foot. You have to tow tons of boats over it? When the aboriginals worked daily for "landing and boating" like cows and horses, my heart was always full of fear. I was afraid that my fragile heart would not be able to bear the news of the eventual failure, and I was afraid that I would not have the courage to witness an idealist's life with my own eyes. Fail. Therefore, it is not difficult for you to imagine how I was relieved and cheered when the ship finally slid down from the side of the mountain and gradually entered the rapids, wishing to catch someone casually, shaking his shoulder and shouting: "Do you know what madness is great?! Do you know what great madness is?!"
You all say that I am an idealist and an optimist, but in fact I am just a passive inactionist. This kind of "crazy sentiment" persists in my body, but in real life I always bury my head so low, and I haven't even done anything very "extraordinary" since I was a child, so I have realized the sad romance in my body. After ism, a long-term and unremitting struggle against it began. I don't know how to judge whether "be realistic" or "crazy" is good or bad. I only think that the idea of a twenty-year-old with half a hundred people who just seeks a stable and busy life is really sad.
In the past, a professor from Hong Kong came to give us a news interview class. In almost every class, he asked to express "I really don't understand why you are so passive and not passionate at such a young age". The first time I heard it, I felt a little sad, because I tried my best and couldn't find the answer to this question. Later, when I got used to it, I would say with everyone in a painless way: It is because he does not live in the society where we live, and he does not understand many things.
But because of my strong yearning for "crazy" and "enthusiasm", I still can't help thinking in private: How do we lose our passion and dreams? Or did we never own it? Can we be united in one mind and not look elsewhere, and only vigorously criticize the education we have received over the years and this evil society that is not suitable for our healthy growth? Yes, we are born with a blank sheet of paper. We do not have the ability to choose whether to be born or the qualification to be raised. Does this give us the right to shirk everything to society?
I have no answer to all this. I only know that too few people have crazy genes in their blood, and we all yearn for what we don’t have, and we all envy what we can’t do, just like I look up to the crazy Fitzcarardo. I am not admiring his really stupid approach, nor trying to overthrow all rationality, but I am too jealous of the total idealism and the tremendous power of action to turn it into reality. His passion is his faith, which can give him the courage to never fall. And I need that kind of passion and kind of faith so much to save me from the contradiction between ideal and reality.
Digging hard in your heart layer by layer, is there a Fitzcarando living in your heart? I know that I desperately hope that Ta lives in my heart.
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