"Yi Yi" tells too many stories, each person, each track, scattered and intersected and then alienated: I
think I have mastered life, but in fact there is nothing that I can be sure of.
I think I am busy, but my daily life is just a few words that can be summarized and repeated.
I think I am optimistic and kind, but I have witnessed the violent and desperate people around me time and time again.
What I think I want is everything, but in the end I want to switch and start again.
….
When grandma became seriously ill and lost consciousness, her bedroom became the place where everyone was most afraid to go. Everyone didn't know how to speak, didn't know what to say to grandma, and everyone didn't know what to say to himself.
We have always been waiting for others to tell us what to do, but we did not wait for the answer, but waited for more people to ask us, what should they do? In so much endless confusion, whose problem can be solved in the end?
My mother kept saying that she was very busy. She asked why her life could be summarized in just a few words, but just such a little bit? The living space is compressed to suffocating by the busy rhythm.
My sister's potted flowers never bloomed. The teacher said it was because of excessive care. She is in love with a good friend's ex-boyfriend, but can't understand his despair and sadness. The love that stayed for a short time made her bloom in an instant and returned to plainness.
"Why are things different from what we thought?"
There are too many reasons in my mind, and I ask others again and again, "How can it be like this? How, can it be like this?" Who can provide the answer? Is it someone else? Is it me?
People always feel good about themselves, they always think things are what they think they are, they think they have penetrated the truth and control their lives, but in the end they find that they are still empty-handed. Thinking that it was a mistake, but in fact repeating the same mistakes. Whether it is to isolate the world and concentrate on practicing, relive the young age trying to modify the plot, or pretend to be optimistic and say "the past is okay...". Life still has to go on like this. Not because of how hard you have done or have done.
Dad left his beloved woman and also lost his favorite music. For many, many years doing things that I don't like, marrying a wife and having children, and taking responsibility. Life seems to be at ease, and I thought I could ignore the idea of "I hope I can never wake up as soon as I sleep." However, his wife's tears made him see everyone equally confused. He can't answer his wife's questions like he can't answer his own. He just told his son that his mother was tired.
The tears and hysteria of the first love can not ignite his passing time. He just hugged her, patted her on the shoulder and said, you are tired.
He was finally tired too. During a farewell in Japan, he summoned his first love who turned and said, "I have never loved anyone else."
Tired. Actually, only when people are tired can they get rid of all the false prosperity on the surface and confess the true lack of oneself deep in their hearts.
However, no one got what they wanted in the end.
The first love lover once thought that she had money and American citizenship to preserve her fragile love. She complained for thirty years and repeatedly questioned why the man did not keep the appointment that day. But I didn't know that it was my own compulsion that brutally killed the happiness of myself and the man.
Men once thought that leaving their first love affair can show their loyalty to music ideals, but found that if they lose her, they lose the most beautiful music in their hearts. When no one is going to force him to do anything. He walked carefully along the expectations of others, leaving his former ideals stranded.
Everyone is looking for excuses to explain their passivity and helplessness in order to prove the mistakes of others. Everyone is always blaming other people and believing that they will become what they are today, and that they are caused by others.
But in the end, I discovered that the twists and turns of each step were arranged by myself.
I used to think that every story has a theme, I used to think that all questions have answers.
Forgetting when we are proud, and helpless when we are frustrated, we are blinded by the current plot, making mistakes again and again without knowing it. Why people are always destined to not see everything. And always just, half?
In the end, the wife sat by the bed and said that everything was the same. After changing the place and the group of people, she repeated the same question in the end. Life is full of metaphors and questions, and once in a while, you can't change anything. I still have to continue to experience all the trivialities, depression, hesitation, helplessness, and regrets.
Following the movie, I have gone through the ignorance of children, the doubts of adolescence, the blankness of youth, the helplessness of middle-aged people, and the death of old age. I realized that no matter how strong I was, I couldn't escape this reincarnation and avoid encountering the same fate. This kind of powerlessness makes people panic and bewildered, and found that indeed, there is no better solution. Maybe you can only see it, and then go through it, acknowledging the power of something, the limitations of people, remembering your original intentions, and maintaining a tolerant attitude towards things. Don't be ecstatic and resentful, and humbly realize that there is always another side that you can't see.
really. "No matter what, it's the same."
Karenin smiled
in 2008, late summer
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